Terrified w/prospect of going to therapist as Sarah

[elkie-t]

Sometimes, all it takes is to remove the last obstacles. Obviously Dr Sarah made a lot of work in preparations even before coming out and waited long enough to satisfy any gatekeeper. Now, it makes a lot of sense to run full speed ahead to minimize 'in-between' stage. Once you're accepted by your family and out at your work, there's no need to delay physical transition and long-awaited beauty procedures


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[Sarah.VanDistel]

Amazing. You are living life in the fast lane... It was not even a 6 weeks ago and you have been scared to show Sarah to your therapist. Now look at you: Hair transplants, looking at FFS... So happy for you!

Once you let Sarah out of the box she really wants it all! (at least for this Sarah it was that way).

You could have asked to be called "Dr. Sarah" - I am far away from passing (occasional male fail) and for various reasons far away from surgery but I have asked to be called Sarah at work. You look so female already, I am sure it would be fine 

Enjoy Budapest

Thanks Sarah! [emoji4]

No doubt everything is going very fast, but as Elkie eloquently puts it, the two big barriers to this transition no longer exist. Coming out to my family and at my workplace made everything else easy and I no longer see any need to wait for decisions... The decisions are all made. Now, what's difficult is to be patient enough for the developments. I WANT IT AAAAAALLLLLLLLLL! ASAP![emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

With my recent hair transplantation, I now look like a trans version of GI Jane ([emoji23]) and I know that I will have to wait several months before clearly seeing the results. So I'll have to be patient... But at least I now have a decently feminine hairline! [emoji136]

Still 7 or 8 months to go until my FFS... So I'll have to be patient.

In the meantime, I'll just entertain myself with the laser sessions (after that, electrolysis to get rid of the greys and whites), improving my makeup skills, letting Sarah go outside more often, voice therapy... As soon as I'm decently recovered from my hair procedure (~3 weeks), I plan on getting my ears pierced. [emoji39]

As for the "Dr. Sarah", right now I just wouldn't feel comfortable... My facial structure still is an important source of dysphoria to me. Hopefully, things will be much better when I get my FFS. But you know what? In the meantime, if someone correctly genders me as female (not gonna happen, says the pessimist in me... lol) then I WILL consider being called Dr. Sarah. [emoji6]

Big hug and thanks for your support!

Sarah

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[Sarah.VanDistel]

That's so great Dr. Sarah!! I'm very happy for you!
You're on such a roll, I can't imagine how exciting and gratifying that must be.

I'm in heaven, Sarah... And for my sisters on Susan's, no "Dr" please! [emoji4]

Big hug, Sarah

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[Sarah.VanDistel]

Hi Sarah,

  WOW! You can't ask for a better reception to the news than the support your workplace is showing you. Are you sure you are not part race horse? You sure seem to be going forward at a break neck speed. Don't forget to take time out to smell the roses and count your blessings, dear. Watching you emerge as that scared young lady afraid to go to a therapy session as yourself not so long ago and then sprinting off to a headlong rush has truly been wonderful to watch, Sarah.
  I hope all goes well with the hair and FFS. I think we already know how your return to work is going to go...

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thank you Laurie!

You wouldn't believe how much you all contributed to this coming out! All started when you girls convinced me to go to this session with the therapist as Sarah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! [emoji134]

I'm a little nervous about my return to work... but in a good sense.

I think I didn't mention it, but just before going on vacation, I also had a meeting with the Medical Director of the hospital and came out to him. Besides being very understanding and supportive, like everybody else in the hospital, he also suggested something that I found extraordinary, but even more extraordinary than the suggestion was my answer to it! He suggested for me to be interviewed by the editor of the internal journal of the hospital; this would be an opportunity to come out to the entire hospital staff, but also to talk about the issue of ->-bleeped-<-. My answer: "Wow! That's a wonderful idea! We'll talk about it when I'm back from vacation!" And I thought to myself: "OMG... What did just happen?! I was the most timid person in the world and now I'm agreeing to publicly say that I'm transsexual in a internal newspaper to an entire hospital?! What's going on with me?!" But with that thought in mind, I couldn't help but smile and give an eyeblink to that oh-so-happy Sarah! [emoji6] So he promised to talk to the editor about it and organize things... I'll keep you all posted about developments.

Big warm and grateful HUG,

Sarah

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[Sarah.VanDistel]

Sometimes, all it takes is to remove the last obstacles. Obviously Dr Sarah made a lot of work in preparations even before coming out and waited long enough to satisfy any gatekeeper. Now, it makes a lot of sense to run full speed ahead to minimize 'in-between' stage. Once you're accepted by your family and out at your work, there's no need to delay physical transition and long-awaited beauty procedures


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Elkiiiiiiie! [emoji312][emoji4]

So glad to see you! And you, girl, can definitely read my mind! It's exactly as you say! [emoji4]

Big hug, Sarah

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[KathyLauren]

Sarah, reading this thread makes my heart joyful.  It is wonderful to see you leaping ahead with confidence to become the real you!

[Laurie]

Thank you Laurie!

You wouldn't believe how much you all contributed to this coming out! All started when you girls convinced me to go to this session with the therapist as Sarah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! [emoji134]

I'm a little nervous about my return to work... but in a good sense.

I think I didn't mention it, but just before going on vacation, I also had a meeting with the Medical Director of the hospital and came out to him. Besides being very understanding and supportive, like everybody else in the hospital, he also suggested something that I found extraordinary, but even more extraordinary than the suggestion was my answer to it! He suggested for me to be interviewed by the editor of the internal journal of the hospital; this would be an opportunity to come out to the entire hospital staff, but also to talk about the issue of ->-bleeped-<-. My answer: "Wow! That's a wonderful idea! We'll talk about it when I'm back from vacation!" And I thought to myself: "OMG... What did just happen?! I was the most timid person in the world and now I'm agreeing to publicly say that I'm transsexual in a internal newspaper to an entire hospital?! What's going on with me?!" But with that thought in mind, I couldn't help but smile and give an eyeblink to that oh-so-happy Sarah! [emoji6] So he promised to talk to the editor about it and organize things... I'll keep you all posted about developments.

Big warm and grateful HUG,

Sarah

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  Wow! Sarah.VanDistel - Celebrity.

LOL That's fantastic Sarah I'm sure you will do us all proud in the interview.

I can't wait to read all about it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Sarah.VanDistel]

(Little) update:

Today I took one more step in my combat against shyness and shame: I enrolled in Pilates lessons for the feminization of my body movements. These lessons are given at my gender clinic (2pass, in Antwerp). This will be somewhat of a milestone for me, because I'll have to put myself in awkward positions, wearing relatively tight gym clothes, in front of other people (albeit other MtFs)... and I've always been super shy, so... But I know that I really need to do this! So I'll just close my inner eyes and go to the class. I'm almost sure I'm gonna love it! [emoji4]

Hugs, Sarah

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[elkie-t]

(Little) update:

Today I took one more step in my combat against shyness and shame: I enrolled in Pilates lessons for the feminization of my body movements. These lessons are given at my gender clinic (2pass, in Antwerp). This will be somewhat of a milestone for me, because I'll have to put myself in awkward positions, wearing relatively tight gym clothes, in front of other people (albeit other MtFs)... and I've always been super shy, so... But I know that I really need to do this! So I'll just close my inner eyes and go to the class. I'm almost sure I'm gonna love it! [emoji4]

Hugs, Sarah

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Good choice! Time to buy some leotards

[sarah1972]

If my work experience is any indication, you have nothing to worry about. I was super nervous the first few times meeting coworkers or visiting customers (I work home office, so I rarely get to see them) and it was just a complete no topic. No questions, no discussion, everyone used she and Sarah. I am usually the one talking about it, if at all.

Good luck returning to work Dr. Sarah!

Hugs - Sarah...

I'm a little nervous about my return to work... but in a good sense.



Big warm and grateful HUG,

Sarah

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[Sarah.VanDistel]

If my work experience is any indication, you have nothing to worry about. I was super nervous the first few times meeting coworkers or visiting customers (I work home office, so I rarely get to see them) and it was just a complete no topic. No questions, no discussion, everyone used she and Sarah. I am usually the one talking about it, if at all.

Good luck returning to work Dr. Sarah!

Hugs - Sarah...

Thanks Sarah! I'll let you know how it went! I'm going back Monday... [emoji4]

Hugs, Sarah...

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[Laurie]

Hi Sarah,

   I can't wait to hear all about your wonderful debut at work as I am sure that is what it will be. ((hugs)) girl. Ejoy your day Monday.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Sarah.VanDistel]

Hi Sarah,

   I can't wait to hear all about your wonderful debut at work as I am sure that is what it will be. ((hugs)) girl. Ejoy your day Monday.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Hey, Laurie! [emoji4]

Thanks for your friendly words! It will be a little weird because I know that by now the whole hospital (or at least the people I usually deal with, such as colleagues from other departments) already knows. I'm prepared for a pinch of awkwardness, but I'm so happy that I'm almost eager for it! [emoji16]

Hugs, Sarah

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[Laurie]

Hey, Laurie! [emoji4]

Thanks for your friendly words! It will be a little weird because I know that by now the whole hospital (or at least the people I usually deal with, such as colleagues from other departments) already knows. I'm prepared for a pinch of awkwardness, but I'm so happy that I'm almost eager for it! [emoji16]

Hugs, Sarah

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Sarah,

  Oh, I fully understand your bit of angst, but you should not let it bother you at all. I recommend you concentrate on that excitement you're feeling instead as I doubt you will run into any who are not going to be fully supportive of you and wish to share your joy. I'm happy I could have a part in seeing you grow.
  Go and have fun, hun. It IS a big deal!

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Sarah.VanDistel]

Good choice! Time to buy some leotards

[emoji23] Well... When Sarah used to be... "sluttier"?... she loved wearing bodysuits, so a leotard would make perfect sense. But now it feels like it would be... impractical. I'm sure that if I wore one it would feel... nice? [emoji6] Anyways, I already have cute black & pink training tights and a training tank! [emoji39]

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[elkie-t]

[emoji23] Well... When Sarah used to be... "sluttier"?... she loved wearing bodysuits, so a leotard would make perfect sense. But now it feels like it would be... impractical. I'm sure that if I wore one it would feel... nice? [emoji6] Anyways, I already have cute black & pink training tights and a training tank! [emoji39]

I still like old sexy style of girl fitness wear of 80s And it cannot be considered sluttier because it's all-female class

[Sarah.VanDistel]

I still like old sexy style of girl fitness wear of 80s And it cannot be considered sluttier because it's all-female class

Well, on that point you certainly got it right... Now you just made me remember the mornings when I was 13 or 14 and woke up a little earlier just to see that fitness show on TV and languishly think "hummm... if only I could be one of them..." [emoji57]

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[sarah1972]

So... How did the first day go? Hope everything did go OK for you!

Hugs Sarah

[Sarah.VanDistel]

So... How did the first day go? Hope everything did go OK for you!

Hugs Sarah

Hi Sarah!

I'm sorry for not answering more promply, but I got your post when I was still on duty (24h shift). All I can say is: wow! As I already suspected, yesterday when I came back to work I was a little nervous about what would happen... But reactions were nothing but positive! Wow! I never brought up the subject, but the nurses did, slowly but surely...

During two different pre-hospital interventions, on the way back to the hospital the (female) nurses who accompanied me began asking questions. They asked very tactfully... First about how my vacations were... How the hair transplantation went... Hummm... "It must feel very liberating, doctor..." "This involves a hormonal treatment, right doctor?" Doing everything not to offend, in a very calm voice... At a point, I felt so much that I was talking to my equals, from woman to woman... They were cute as kitties... [emoji4] I just wanted to hug them! [emoji847]

At the department, I also had more than a few conversations, as much as allowed on a busy Monday. The guys offered a great deal support, also. "Respect, dokter!", said one of them while tapping his chest with his closed fist. I found it easier to talk about more intimate things (feelings, body changes) with the female nurses than with the male nurses. Everyone without exception told me not to worry and assured me that they would be my "protection ring" in the hospital! And in the middle of the night, from nurse T, I got to hear something that really made me smile: "Doctor, I... You made a nice choice with that surgical cap you're using. It fits you really well... And... Well... I was imagining... I think you're gona make a pretty woman. Your face, I mean... You don't have that many male facial features." You should have seen my smile, Sarah... [emoji4]

And with the patients, everything went really, really well. I feel that I'm even more empathic than before. I still present with my male name, so nobody thought I was a woman (I think), but I'm comfortable with this agenda of mine... [emoji57]

So in conclusion, Sarah, things couldn't have been better with my coming out at the department level. I am an unspeakably happy woman! [emoji4]

Big hugs, Sarah

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[Laurie]

 What a wonderful day Sarah! I could almost see that smile. bet you had a big grin most of the 24hr shift.

Glad it is all working good for you.

Hugs,
   Laurie