Tessa,
For me to be silent is for me to ignore the beauty that I believe is within us all. Here are some more thoughts along this line. I believe that we are all spiritual beings. The recognition of difference that being trans entails was for me a starting point to revisit the whole notion of spiritual contentedness. The Chinese Zen Master Chu Hsi extolled the value of traveling on foot. "Only in that way," he said," may you see truth in all its varied respects."
To me living an authentic life is a pilgrimage on foot from persona to person. The journey is every bit as much inward looking as outwardly appearing. To travel on foot is to meet all kinds of people. To experience hardship as well as bliss and emerge from the journey changed and perhaps knowing a bit of new truth.
The actions of creating somethin new, exploring self, learning new skills, are milestones on the journey but not the whole journey. They are do not require classification as masculine or feminine, but are both and neither. The search for who I have become is expressed with femininity, but the journey will never cease and the pilgrimage will always transform the pilgrim. I do not need to conform to the definitions of others, only to the descriptions of myself that I write.
Many cultures revere the two spirit people. Mine did not. But I can walk with those who do and learn from those who have passed before, as I learn from the people who participate here. In this we walk together, in support, one to the other transcending the bounds of culture and biology, and finding authenticity in how we live and how we speak.
Six years ago I started on the path to Julie. Somehow I believe that I have both arrived and have very long way to go.
To again quote Chu Hsi
"Last night the spring floods swelled the water in the river.
Today the huge ship floats, as if it were feather-weighted.
What could not be pulled or pusher before,
Now moves on freely in the middle of the river."
I will see you as the water flows into new realities at your Skipanon River Retreat.
Namaste,
Julie