Hello Everyone,
For many years I have enjoyed browsing the discussions here. However, I have always been one of those (gasp!) lurkers. This site has always been a tremendous resource to the transgender community and I have learned from and been inspired by the members here for a long time. I've decided that it is time that I properly join in on the dialogue and the fun.
Here is a little bit about me. I am a transgender woman in her early 30's. At the moment, I still present as male and am not out to anyone in my personal life. Several years ago I was on HRT for a short period, but I was not prepared to fully transition at the time and I paused my hormone replacement. My current transition goals include restarting HRT soon, living as a female fulltime, and eventually having bottom surgery.
Throughout my entire life I have questioned my gender identity. Despite being assigned male at birth and being treated as a male by the world around me, I have always known that at my core I was female. My feminine nature and nurturing instincts always made me feel different as I navigated through male society. I've been able to blend in as male in my daily life and I have even excelled in some traditionally male dominated activities.
I have always been desperate to start and complete my transition. Yet at the same time I have struggled with fears regarding transitioning that include coming out to my family and doubting whether I could ever successfully physically and socially transition. Recently I have come to terms with the fact that transition is what would make me the happiest and the most at peace with myself. It would allow me to at long last live honestly as the woman that I have always been. While outwardly becoming a seemingly different person may be hard for the people that I love to accept, I will continue to be the same person on the inside that I have always been. I will always be the compassionate, caring, loving, intelligent, and kind hearted person that they have known. I try to show compassion and understanding with others on a daily basis and I hope that I can share that spirit with this community too.
Now here are some other details about me so that you all can get to know me a little better. I'm a huge movie geek. Good music has gotten me through a lot of tough times in my life. I love to travel in order to experience new places and cultures. I'm a curious person by nature and I always enjoy learning new things. I was also a history major in college and I have spent a lot of time reading about and researching topics that fascinate me me.
I'll wrap up this introduction with a quote that I cherish and try to live by. It's from Disney's 2015 live-action version of Cinderella, which has become one of my all-time favorite princess movies. In the film, Cinderella's mother gives her this piece of advice when she is a young girl:
"I have to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trials that life can offer. Have courage and be kind."
With Love,
Ella
