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Do I look "boyish" ?

Started by November Fox, July 12, 2017, 10:20:12 AM

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November Fox

Hi guys, girls (I mean, everybody).

I´ve got a question for you.

Two gender therapists so far have said that I look "boyish". When the first one said it, I was pre-T, so okay, I get it. I did not like to hear it though. However my current gender therapist said the same yesterday, and she was about to say "I mean, you don´t look like a..." and I suppose the rest of the sentence was "man yet".

I hate it. I´m thirty this year. Being called boyish is not something I enjoy.
I know that I look good and I pass full time, but somehow it still aggravates me to hear them say this.

Would it aggravate you? What do you think? I´ll try to post a picture.

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Ryuichi13

You look like a (good looking!) man to me.

In 20 years, "looking boyish" will be a great thing!  Trust me.  (I'm 55, btw. 😊)

Ryuichi   

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November Fox

haha, true.

In my head I equate "boyish" to "not being man enough". I suppose I get read as in my early twenties...
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Raell

That's how it is with many/most transgender people..they typically look like young people into older ages. If they are transwomen, the female hormones keep their skin young, and if they are transmales, the more female facial features make them resemble boys.
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TransAm

Yes, that would annoy the hell out of me.
You look older than a lot of FTMs I've seen. If I had to casually guess your age I'd peg you around 23--that may be irritating to hear but I try to keep it real--and that's a decent stretch beyond 'boyish'. That word conjures images of tweens/young teens to me.
In some odd way they're probably trying to be supportive and affirming but pretty much no thirty year old man wants to hear the word 'boy' in correlation to themselves. Anyway, I wouldn't sweat it too much; people can be extremely clueless.


This is going to sound stupid but I'm jealous as **** over the size/shape of your ears. They're partly what's helping to age and masculinize your face so efficiently.
"I demolish my bridges behind me - then there is no choice but forward." - Fridtjof Nansen
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November Fox

Ok, good to know I´m not the only one. I wasn´t sure if I was overreacting to it. Maybe a bit.

Quote from: Raell on July 12, 2017, 10:53:25 AM
That's how it is with many/most transgender people..they typically look like young people into older ages. If they are transwomen, the female hormones keep their skin young, and if they are transmales, the more female facial features make them resemble boys.

I´m not sure about that though. I´ve seen many FTM who look, well, like grown men. As for MTF, I´ve never really fixated on how they look age-wise. But as Stone Magnum said, a man (particularly later on) does not like being described as "boy". I suppose it´s some sort of macho thing (that I do suffer of  :P )

@Stone Magnum if it helps, I was extremely self-conscious about my ears when I was living as female... ^^
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Ryuichi13

Quote from: Raell on July 12, 2017, 10:53:25 AM
That's how it is with many/most transgender people..they typically look like young people into older ages.

... and if they are transmales, the more female facial features make them resemble boys.

Okay, that explains my "boyish" looks.  I still get misgendered every now and then. [emoji20]

November Fox, would you mind if we make this a thread where everyone can post pics to ask this question?  I have some facial hair now, and I too would love to find where others think I am age-wise on my transition.  If not, its cool.

Ryuichi

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ainsley

You look like a young adult male(not a teenager); not boyish, in my opinion.
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

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Shape of A GIRL!
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haeden

You look like you're in your 20s to me. Definitely look like a man tho

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Julia1996

You look like a very handsome man in your in your mid 20s.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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Kylo

It would annoy me coming from therapists... of all people they should be aware that the goal is not to make the client feel negatively about their looks.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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TransAm

Quote from: November Fox on July 12, 2017, 11:04:33 AM
@Stone Magnum if it helps, I was extremely self-conscious about my ears when I was living as female... ^^

I could understand that, but 10/10 they're working for you now.
It's funny, isn't it? The things that don't 'fit' work out so well in our favor after the fact.
"I demolish my bridges behind me - then there is no choice but forward." - Fridtjof Nansen
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November Fox

I like to think that my body wanted to develop male regardless of the hormonal system. I actually had quite a pronounced adam´s apple, which people thought was weird (females cannot have adam´s apples, etc..).

Quote from: Viktor on July 12, 2017, 11:40:55 AM
It would annoy me coming from therapists... of all people they should be aware that the goal is not to make the client feel negatively about their looks.

The weird thing is that it´s only therapists who say that to me. Nobody else ever has. You´d think that they would know better, but hey.

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on July 12, 2017, 11:15:45 AM

November Fox, would you mind if we make this a thread where everyone can post pics to ask this question?  I have some facial hair now, and I too would love to find where others think I am age-wise on my transition.  If not, its cool.

Not at all, go ahead!
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CursedFireDean

Yeah, I'd say 23-26ish, as someone who is just about 21 you look like you're a little older than me by a few years. Definitely I wouldn't call you "boyish."

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stephaniec

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Paige

You look like a handsome 20 something year old to me.  Most 30 year old men would love to look like you.

If you want to look like most older men, I would suggest a crappy diet to give you a beer belly and taking up smoking to wreck your skin.   

It's funny we all want to look older until we are.

Take care,
Paige :)
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N A

You are about my age and if I had to take a guess, I'd say you are about my age.

Also pretty damn good looking, if you don't mind a compliment.
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Peep

I get this all the time too -- I'm 26 in a month and still look 17

I'm a postgraduate student and my classmates were still surprised that i'm 25

like someone said they thought i was 17 when we were sitting in a bar after they watched me buy and drink two glasses of wine, and we talked about our masters degrees... like it's cool to be a child prodigy but really
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Bacon

I haven't gotten the "boyish" comment specifically but many people think I'm younger than I am. I'm 25, but many people have said I look 18. (Though this was also true when I was presenting as a female.)

Personally, I don't mind it. Like others have said, it's usually better to look younger than you are than older than you are. I don't think "boyish" means "unmanly" either. A boy is still a male; maybe your therapists were saying that you have a youthful, energetic look about you?



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eyesk8rboi

Quote from: Julia1996 on July 12, 2017, 11:35:52 AM
You look like a very handsome man in your in your mid 20s.

As usual....What she said!  :icon_yes:
I think you look about 23-25!
Steven Lee | 24 | Dog Dad | Beginner Figure Skater | Aspiring Writer


:icon_arrow:Started counseling on June 11th, 2017
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