Losing my grip

[ds1987]

Hi all,

I'd been way too dehydrated at the dose of Spiro I was at, so my doc had me lower to the original dose.  My Estradiol is the same.  This week, I have so up and down, and I started feeling like my male self again, which feels so much worse than I could have predicted.  Anxiety, and self hate, and hopelessness...and my sex drive is up again, which feels good in the moment but then lingers in a bad taste.  It is awful.

I'm also about to legally change my name.  I got hired as an MT at a clinic, and they are legally required to put me in the system by the name on my license.  They are going to let clients know my male name, then say I prefer Aria.  I've been circulating in the possibility of going full time, and this really struck a chord.  Maybe this is contributing to my feeling so bad this week.  I hate that these bad patterns are resurfacing.

Aria

[AlyssaJ]

Aww Aria, I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way.  I can imagine the anxiety it has to be causing for sure. Maybe you can get your doctor to split the difference on your dosage?  See if somewhere in the middle helps the dehydration but also keeps you in a better state of mind.

Regardless, if you think it would help you at all please reach out.  No one should have to feel all alone when going through the dark feelings like this.

Congratulations by the way on the new job.  Sounds exciting but I can also see how that situation might be amplifying the bad feelings again too. 

[KathyLauren]

I can see how telling clients your dead name when your legal name change is so close would bring you down.  It might not be the change in spiro dosage doing it.  Or it might be.  Something to discuss with your doctor.

I complained about dehydration on my last checkup.  I was fully prepared to have my spiro dosage left unchanged - I was just telling her as a data point for her to monitor.  But she checked my BP and it was 90/65.  That scared her, so she dropped my dosage by 25%.  My T level was well below the normal female range, so there was room to decrease my S.  So far, I have noticed no negative consequences, and the dehydration isn't quite as bad.  If your levels are different, the effect on you might be different.