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Started by cymoril, July 17, 2017, 08:17:36 AM

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cymoril

Hi.  I've been on hormones going on five years.  Recently,  I've noticed my gender dysphoria has resurfaced meaner than ever.  Has this happened to anybody? Having their GD seemingly cured than out of nowhere that awful self loathing returns.  It's quite a B____!(I hope that didn't break any rules.  Sorry!!)  Anyway.  I just got out of a relationship four months ago. We feel deeply in love.  We would spend a month at my place, the a month at his.  I'm in a wheelchair, and when I couldn't use my electric one, he'd push me everywhere we needed to go.  He proposed to me at Taco Bell.  Has anyone even been to a Taco Bell?  Well they have these...  Ok.  I'm rambling.  Let me get back on topic.  It's been bad, my GD.  I was also wondering if anyone might know of a book that has some info on the subject.  Well, that's it.  Thanks!
Don't really know what to write here...  So I'll just write a little about myself.  For conciseness, I am a 48 y/o pre-op transsexual who's in a wheelchair.  I'm wheelchair bound due to AVN(avascular necrosis) which took three and a half inches from my right femur and I acquired due to HIV.  I got infected by the first man I was ever with.  So, after spending 40+ years in Texas and getting three felonies, I decided to move to San Francisco.
  I got here in 2010 and continued to drug myself until something happened...  I don't remember exactly what happened, but I do know I did something to ease my pain, which didn't help and I ended up in the ER.  After that, mind you I could still walk, barely, I was diagnosed with avascular necrosis.  Immediately I was sent to a hospital in really bad shape.  I was addicted to a copious amount of drugs and weighed less than 90lbs.  I was near death.  I spent two and a half years in hospital, quit drugs, got my own place and am doing quite well.
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AnneK

QuoteHas anyone even been to a Taco Bell?

Taco Bell is not the Mexican phone company!   :D
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.
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Harley Quinn

It could be partly to do with your recent change in dating status. I try to figure out exactly what the issue is that triggers my dysphoria and make a plan on paper of what I want to do to fix it. Once it's on paper, it doesn't seem like my change is that far away... 

I pretty much replaced dating with friends in my life. I haven't dated a significant other in almost 10 years. Having a significant other is similar to having the emotional support of a close friend and the rest is just sexual.
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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