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After GCS, do people you know treat you differently

Started by HappyMoni, June 18, 2017, 11:17:17 AM

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Laurie

Hi Monica,

I understand your concern with this question now that you've crossed over. But I of course cannot supply an answer for you. I can however turn the tables on you and pose the question: Do you think that you will treat others differently now that you're on the other side and you are physically who you've always wanted to be? The short answer I am sure is going to be "no" but I pose the question as food for thought. Your world today is different now than what it was before.

Hugs,
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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debrferguson

Monica,

Well, my cis friend and her mom came over yesterday wearing "Vagina-Kind" t-shirts and gave me one as a welcome to the club. I suppose that wouldn't have happened before. :)

My ex-wife has been more sad lately when we connect. I don't know if that's because the loss is more real and permanent to her or not.

I've gotten a ton of advice from my cis friends on care and sex and basically vagina-101. I think for them, they now genuinely consider me to be fully committed to the group. No real obvious changes in behavior there.

And Christine McGinn used a speculum on the 2nd visit. She didn't use that (or the stirrups before GCS). So I suppose she's treating me differently.

The FAA is now questioning my capacity to fly a plane post-surgery. Totally ridiculous, but different as well.

As you know I'm 3 days behind you in post surgery life experiences.
-deb.
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HappyMoni

Hi Debbie,
   I know your surgery has been more trouble free than mine. I am a bit quarantined due to my swelling and inability to do much. I don't mind this really, but for purposes of this thread, I have not seen many people to know if they treat me differently. That will happen in about a month.
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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HappyMoni

Quote from: Laurie on July 20, 2017, 11:47:00 AM
Hi Monica,

I understand your concern with this question now that you've crossed over. But I of course cannot supply an answer for you. I can however turn the tables on you and pose the question: Do you think that you will treat others differently now that you're on the other side and you are physically who you've always wanted to be? The short answer I am sure is going to be "no" but I pose the question as food for thought. Your world today is different now than what it was before.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Laurie ,
   I like the turn around on the question you sly fox you. I think of myself a little differently, with more confidence I would say. I am happier with myself so I am more at peace, and I believe it will show in my interactions. I have enjoyed seeing people who never knew my previous incarnation. Debbie (above) offered me an amazing compliment. She said that she  couldn't imagine me as ever having been anyone else. It really touched me that she would say that. I love so many people  that knew me before transition. I could never leave them in my past. I do enjoy people who only know Moni and not 'him'. It is a different feeling. Now, I will start to know people with this added self comfort. I am curious to see how it feels. I suspect there will be little doubt that people at my work will figure it out when I show up everywhere with a donut for my butt. I don't care that the older folks know, but I would like the news to come from me if I so decide, when it comes to the new people. That is probably not likely though.
   Well, either that or i will strip down and flash it towards people I don't like or maybe the ones I do like. lol
Moni
   
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Sophia Sage

Quote from: Laurie on July 20, 2017, 11:47:00 AMI can however turn the tables on you and pose the question: Do you think that you will treat others differently now that you're on the other side and you are physically who you've always wanted to be? The short answer I am sure is going to be "no" but I pose the question as food for thought. Your world today is different now than what it was before.

OMG, this is such a great question, Laurie.  I really had to sit down and think about it.

Yes, the answer is yes.  For the better, mostly, in a lot of different ways.  Like, just knowing what it's like, first hand, the absolute relief of having it done, there's a sense that I'm kind of waiting and beckoning over here on the other side, like I've crossed a river and now I reach out my hand and help pull to shore those swimming across this river; there's a kinship I had with others who passed over near to when I did, the kinship of having completed a journey more or less together with someone else.  It's given me so much more confidence, that surely changes how I treat others, because I'm much less likely to respond and act out of my own need and dysphoria and fear.  I was single at the time, and that definitely opened up my sexuality; I could now freely flirt with other people, especially men. 

And within a few months I disappeared.  Having finished everything in my transition that I needed to finish, it was time to move on.  I think this is pretty common in the community -- no longer in the throes of transition, and having different needs to (finally) attend to, there's much less impetus to interact with the community at large, not having this pressing need in common with others still making their journey.  When I did check in, it was only with the few women I'd formed life-long friendships with, others who like me had gone on to transsex after transition.  For years and years and years, I never even frequented an internet forum like this one. 

Now, coming back, my motivation to participate is different.  I'm now in the position of paying forward the kind of help I received way back when, at least while I attend to a second sort of transition -- the transition that so many middle-aged women often make to stave off the effects of aging (getting into shape, stepping up my beauty regimen, and looking into things like face lifts and liposuction and skin resurfacing; going back to zap the few pesky hairs I'd previously been content to pluck 10 minutes a day; rebuilding my wardrobe to something more (and less) appropriate for a woman my age; scar revisions; implementing a hormone regimen based on cycling; and quite possibly some other procedures like changing my under-the-muscle implants for over-the-muscle implants, and a BBL, maybe even some minor facial revisions like another lip lift and nose job and so on), which I myself justify based on "lost time" from my proper youth. 

So yeah, Laurie, SRS really tends to change people who have it (which is kind of the point), and that necessarily in turns changes or influences how we are with other people.  Hopefully, though, it changes us for the better. 
What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it.
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HappyMoni

Quote from: Sophia Sage on July 25, 2017, 02:16:53 AM
OMG, this is such a great question, Laurie.  I really had to sit down and think about it.

Yes, the answer is yes.  For the better, mostly, in a lot of different ways.  Like, just knowing what it's like, first hand, the absolute relief of having it done, there's a sense that I'm kind of waiting and beckoning over here on the other side, like I've crossed a river and now I reach out my hand and help pull to shore those swimming across this river; there's a kinship I had with others who passed over near to when I did, the kinship of having completed a journey more or less together with someone else.  It's given me so much more confidence, that surely changes how I treat others, because I'm much less likely to respond and act out of my own need and dysphoria and fear.  I was single at the time, and that definitely opened up my sexuality; I could now freely flirt with other people, especially men. 

And within a few months I disappeared.  Having finished everything in my transition that I needed to finish, it was time to move on.  I think this is pretty common in the community -- no longer in the throes of transition, and having different needs to (finally) attend to, there's much less impetus to interact with the community at large, not having this pressing need in common with others still making their journey.  When I did check in, it was only with the few women I'd formed life-long friendships with, others who like me had gone on to transsex after transition.  For years and years and years, I never even frequented an internet forum like this one. 

Now, coming back, my motivation to participate is different.  I'm now in the position of paying forward the kind of help I received way back when, at least while I attend to a second sort of transition -- the transition that so many middle-aged women often make to stave off the effects of aging (getting into shape, stepping up my beauty regimen, and looking into things like face lifts and liposuction and skin resurfacing; going back to zap the few pesky hairs I'd previously been content to pluck 10 minutes a day; rebuilding my wardrobe to something more (and less) appropriate for a woman my age; scar revisions; implementing a hormone regimen based on cycling; and quite possibly some other procedures like changing my under-the-muscle implants for over-the-muscle implants, and a BBL, maybe even some minor facial revisions like another lip lift and nose job and so on), which I myself justify based on "lost time" from my proper youth. 

So yeah, Laurie, SRS really tends to change people who have it (which is kind of the point), and that necessarily in turns changes or influences how we are with other people.  Hopefully, though, it changes us for the better.
I really like the analogy of helping pull others ashore, Sophia. At a time when I was desperate, fearing my surgery would never happen, three people called to me as I felt I was going under. Missy, Sarah (Inasarah), and you Sophia. You all talked me down and showed me a mental picture of that other shore. It helped keep me going and later folks like Rachel Lynn and  Sadie and other less visible friends, in there own way, helped get me to climb up on that beach. I think of that and I hope I don't disappear. I hope I can help others in some way. Just seeing people in a place where I was at one time hurting and struggling, I really want to help them, like you did, and tell them it will be okay. So, with all my heart, I thank you Sophia and my many other friends who have gotten me here. And yes, Laurie, apparently with my vagina, I get even sappier. Yikes!
Moni
Laurie, you are not less visible by any stretch, but you have made a big difference for me. If you repeat that, I will deny it.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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