Lonely

[Noah]

I've come to realisation that I don't have any friends
And no one really cares enough to ever ask how I'm doing
I'm actually rather lonely
I'm 23 and don't talk to anyone apart from my work colleagues
Like I go to work come home sleep and then back to work
Anyone else found themselves in similar position?

[Amanda_Combs]

Hi! [emoji4]I used to feel that way.  I talked to strangers a lot to try and feel better, some of them aren't strangers anymore.

How are you doing today?  I would love to hear more about you.


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[JeanetteLW]

  Hi Noah,

  I was and still am to some extent a loner too. I do not have many friends. I know quite a few friendly people but very few are  real good friends. Those that are don't care what I look like because they have come to know and love me as I do them.  It makes my list of "must tell personally" about me being trans very short but not easier.

  I discovered several years ago that if you want people to be friends with you, then you need to be a friend to them. I needed to start showing an interest in other people. Chat with them and find out what interests them and where their and my interests coincide capitalize one it. You have a talking point a shared interest that can bring you closer even if it is only a casual friendship.
  I started taking notice to the invisible people we deal with every day. Those that help us and provide services to us. Most service people have name tags, I look at their names and use it when talking with them. and that is another thing , talk to them, ask how their day is going. If the ask you something  answer. By using their name and talking with them a little bit you acknowledge them, validate them as be someone instead of an invisible servant. I've gotten to know a few and number them as friends now. Casual friends but friends just the same.

  I hope this suggestion helps. There are friends out there for you , you just have to make an effort to find them.

  Hugs,
     Jeanette

[big kim]

Alone is part of my character like being tall with green eyes. I once feared loneliness, now I embrace it

[Elis]

In the same situation. I still have social anxiety to a certain extent as well as am naturally an introvert  (I become mentally drained if I socialise too much and need a few days to recover). I've tried a few times to make friends at trans groups but I hate having to make meaningless small talk and feeling that uncomfortable knot in my stomach.

I'm going to try and volunteer for an LGBT charity and see if that helps. I don't expect to make any friends; kind of asking too much but I need and want my social anxiety to improve.

[lily paige]

I use to be an outgoing person since my transition i have become quiet and shy. I found the some people at work done know how to interact with me anymore. Ive become lonely i sleep and work thats it on days off if my partner is working ill sleep the day away.

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[Veronica J]

being an introvert is very common for us.. its up to us to reach out and ask questions about people we want to be friends with.. to genuinely connect and simply be a friend by asking questions..

i have been challenged by my doc to do this and its hard... even to go and get my makeup professionally done to step outside the square.. its scary.. and then walk thru the mall to my car.. eeek!! its to make me step outside my comfort zone..

[Drexy/Drex]

Yes I understand  I think that is literally  my life I do fifo and it. Was 4/1 roster for many years now do 2/1 last few months  ,I'm  not lonely  at work as we all work/eat/play together ( if it's good crew) kinda like an extended family
But when I get back to Perth I might  as well be a ghost everything and everyone  has moved on
I, m socially  shy  anxiety  , so I don't  make the effort, before fifo I was in religion  for ten odd years and when i left
lost. those friends?
Before that heavily  into substance  abuse for  15 years I had to lose my people  in that scene to get out of it
I don't think  I have  any real friiends cept my cats and 1or 2 people ....but what is a friend  ? I think  ive  forgtton but I'm comfortable  with my own company  maybe  too comfortable I don't  really  trust people
In some ways maybe it will help transition
Do you have any spare time between  work?  any interests, if you like exercise a mainstream  gym
would be a good place to go, there are classes that you can participate in its quite  friendly and fun
Do you like your job? you are still young enough  to change it like go to tafe uni etc study get a high paying  job doing the work of your choice you will meet many people  in either or both Area's
And it is true about  making aquaitances and future  friends by showing interest in them , if like Laurie said you pay attention  to people  mostly  they will respond  I've tried  that and it works people like to be interesting and enjoy someone  being interested in them  these days quality   communication is rare due to modern comm forms such as texting, email, social media etc
I read somewhere  that you can tell if you have a good friend  if they know your birthday, favourite  colour, pets name

[MaiaOZ]

https://www.meetup.com/ may have something for you that would help. There are a number of LGBTI groups.

[elkie-t]

Quality of transition is defined by number of friends (of your new sex) that you acquired after your transition.


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