So ive been contemplating ways to come out to my family for months now. Transitioning didnt feel like a thing i needed to do since im nonbinary and generally id feel comfortable presenting any which way, but ive been having STRONG masc feelings for the past year and its not going away. I see a lot of trans masc people around and they all look so happy post-op that i get envious.
How do i come out to my parents? My parents are very supportive; they didnt bat an eyelash when i came out as queer, and are always asking me questions when it comes to queer politics and how to address people who are GNC or not presenting an obvious way (either masc or fem) but they still have trouble with addressing nonbinary anything. I tried explaining to my dad about what it means to be nonbinary (somehow without outing myself in the process) and he was saying some really bullheaded hurtful things. It was driving me up a wall but i couldnt call him disrespectful and challenge him without actually coming clean and i definitely was not ready for that.
My mom seems to be doing a bit better about it, but still has that old-world understanding of gender. She was watching that show on lifetime or some channel about transgender people and different gender identities (i cant remember the name for the life of me) and she seemed very invested in the people and their stories, however clinical her interest was. We were watching Botched yesterday and a genderfluid person was getting their breasts redone so they could feel whole again, and my mom felt very happy for her and her new found happiness with the fixed breasts. however, she strong-armed me into coming out to her a couple months ago and it didnt go as i planned. it was forced out of me and it wasnt discussed on my own terms so i had a near breakdown trying to explain how i felt to my mother, who seems to have completely forgotten the exchange happened.
My sister is much better about this sort of thing since her attitude is "if its what you feel then you do you" but her husband has said some homophobic things by accident in the past so its a bit difficult for me to gauge his stance. i think hes mostly supportive because he also knows im queer and never makes a big deal, but i dont know his stance on gender stuff.
ive been struggling with the idea of just coming out as male and just keeping the nonbinary aspect private, but i know they wouldnt understand that if i suddenly started dressing more feminine and wearing makeup and etc. i know this would be wrong of me to do because thats not how i feel, but i cant help wanting them to take me seriously.
What is the best way to come out? i dont think id have a falling out with them, but you never know
sorry this became longer than i wanted, but maybe its better with the context anyway.
