Back this winter, before I transitioned, I was asked to do a talk at the annual astronomy star party (camp-out, a.k.a. nerd camp). It sounded like fun, so I agreed. And then realized that the event would take place after I planned to go full-time. Taking a bug gulp, I emailed the organizer who recruited me, came out to him and asked his advice. Do it anyway, he said.
I was torn between freaking out and sensing an opportunity. Hoping the opportunity would win out, I came out to the whole organizing committee. That started things in motion, because I now had a firm date by which time I had to have transitioned. I work best under a deadline, and going full-time was no exception. It didn't stop me from freaking out, but I proceeeded to work on my Powerpoint presentation. When the official announcement came out about the events at the star party, I sent a coming-out email to the entire club membership.
Well, this weekend was the camp-out and my presentation. I have been full-time for three months, and growing more confident all the time. For most of the members, this was their first time meeting the real me. And the verdict is: 100% success!
I was totally accepted. Absolutely no one misgendered me or dead-named me. No one asked any inappropriate questions. The only time gender came up at all was when a friend, whom I know well enough to make the question appropriate, asked how my transition was going and how my wife was holding up. I even tested the waters a bit by mentioning to a few people that the reason I was not going to go to the U.S. to see the eclipse next month was because of the "change in my personal situation". The reaction was totally appropriate: "Oh, right, of course! I hadn't thought of that."
My presentation went really well. I enjoy doing talks like this. I was relaxed and just concentrated on the material. I even managed to keep my voice pitch a bit above my male standard voice for the duration. It still needs work, but it means that I was "in the zone". I had several people come up to me afterwards, both beginners and experienced members (the talk was aimed at beginners) and tell me that they got a lot out of it.
I am really grateful for this opportunity. Both before the event and during it, it has boosted my confidence to have people just accept me as myself. Even though the weather was poor for observing the night sky, I came home on a huge high.
