I'm not new, but I'm back

[KarlMars]

6 months ago I was identifying as a transman and had my name legally changed. I was even presenting as a man. I only presented as a man about a year and was afraid to make the hormone appointment. 6 months ago I decided to start identifying as female again and changed my name back to my female birth name. My dysphoria has returned but not to the extreme it was before. I might be one of those people that transitions middle age.

Some reasons I didn't transition include:
The changes are permanent
I realize that there are many advantages to being female
I would miss women's purses
The cost of everything is impossible
I have a hard time with the social stigma
It's harder to find relationships as a trans male

I have started ballet classes and want to make ballet a serious part of my life. I am starting at the late age of 28, and may need to be taller to be a male ballet dancer. So I would like to learn to dance as a female dancer, and see if I can someday make a career out of it. Maybe one day I'll move to an area good for becoming a dance teacher and accepting of LGBT and then start to transition. Until then I just can't bring myself to do it. I missed this place and wanted to come back and see how everyone was doing.


Edit: The strange thing is I could be described as a confident person, but not confident enough to get a sex change.

[Devlyn]

Big hug! Welcome back. The goal is living your life the way you want. Transitioning may or may not be a part of that. Hang out and chitchat, our conversations don't always have to be deep.   

Hugs, Devlyn

[SailorMars1994]

Welcome back!! so i am lost (as i am not too bright), are you living as male or female now or something else :S... just got confused.

In anycase, welcomeback and enjoy. PM if u ever need anything <3

[KarlMars]

Welcome back!! so i am lost (as i am not too bright), are you living as male or female now or something else :S... just got confused.

In anycase, welcomeback and enjoy. PM if u ever need anything <3

Thank you both for welcoming me back. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear enough. Right now I'm living as female. I lived as a male for about a year and kept cancelling and re scheduling my hormone appointments before I decided to stay female. I was born female.

[SailorMars1994]

Oh cool!! ok i was just confused. Well , as long as you are happy . We will always support and there for you. Life is a journey as you know. You may have detransioned (socailly) but alwasy remember, should you feel dysphoira again or an overwhelming desire to be male again this expericne does not invalidate you and we will also be here for you for if that time comes.

Again, PM me if you ever need a friend to chat with. Btw.. i wanna ballet too

[V M]

Welcome back 

We are all here to support each other and will support you in whichever decision you decide is best for you

Hugs

[Dan]

Welcome back! Even though relative to you I'm the newbie here 

Whatever path makes you happy for as long as it lasts, is the right path at the time. Maybe it will last your entire life and will bring you fulfillment as well.

As far as I can tell, Susan's Place is not a prison for lifers  It feels more airy, like Swiss cheese ( now I'm craving Swiss cheese); we come and go depending on the direction that the wind blows.

[Laurie]

Hi, I'm Laurie. welcome back. I'm glad you decided to come back . Hearing what others experience helps all of us understand ourselves better. I hope you  share yours with us.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[BeautifulRedPanda]

Welcome back! Mars, Finally you decided to come back.

[SailorMars1994]

Welcome back! Mars, Finally you decided to come back.

I never left.....