Gender fluid needing to rant

[JakeMarley]

I'm 41 afab gender fluid. I've only discovered there was a name for people like me in the last 4 years and only been presenting as my true self in the last 6 months or so. I presented as male when I was in elementary school until I got made fun of so much that I quit. After so many years of presenting as female or androgynous I am having several anxiety when I go out in public presenting as male. The bathroom is the most of my anxiety. I'm not sure how well I pass to be able to use the men's room plus what room I want to use changes with my fluidity. Plus the STP I use (while very realistic looking) tends to not always work. I also have anxiety about running into guys who strictly know me as female, in the men's room. When I go out of town this isn't as much of an issue for me but I don't go out of town every time I'm in male mode.
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of pissing myself because my STP doesn't always work. I'm sick of worrying about running into people who wouldn't accept my life style. I'm sick of chickening out of using the men's room. I'm just sick.
I know a lot of other people go through this same type of stuff. There's not much way to "fix" this stuff for me. I'm just ranting.
I do have some blessings though. I have two wonderful children that know and accept me. My best friend knows and says she has for years before I knew. My husband on the other hand is an over the road truck driver and is gone most of the time. He accepts my female and androgynous sides but makes a big deal out of me dressing too masculine and he doesn't even know about my STP. I can only imagine what he'd say about that. My parents have no idea. My step dad had a nephew who was homosexual and they made fun of him. So not going to come out to them. I'm a member of a southern Baptist Church and I'm pretty sure they would not be accepting.
Ugh! It seems to much at times. Maybe it's time to look into therapy.
Well I guess rant over.

[Undead Cat]

I think the Trans and gnc life Ishould hard for everyone, I haven't came out to anyone expect my mom and a few people, I prefer to live closeted bc the transphobia and homophobia scare me in my country.

I also find using bathrooms hard, I always try to go for disabled bathrooms and sneak in or either not enter anywhere or use my agab bathroom quickly, men's bathrooms scare me and women's bathroom feel uncomfortable.

Anyway,  good lucky with your life.

[Raell]

Wow. Sounds like a tough situation.

I'm a non-transitioning nonbinary partial transmale who lives like an androgyne, but used to be gender fluid. I found out several years ago that a local Thai herb blends my two gender modes, so that has been a relief.

I got rid of the religious intolerance problem by quitting attending Christian churches, but Thai Buddhist temples are cool, since they accept everyone, and even animals wander in and out.

I am divorced, and currently living in Thailand, so don't face the usual mixed gender problems. Most Thai live sort of androgynously anyway.

[JB_Girl]

LOL, I may join in your rant!  Gender specific bathrooms suck.  They just do, and the paranoia surrounding peeing in the USA is equally sucky.  Rant on my friend.

JB

[Ayla]

JM

I hear you.  If we were supported and encouraged to understand and to express ourselves authentically, without fear or danger, we would be in a much better place.  From experience there is a need to be true to yourself.  Take the steps that you need and celebrate who you are.  Partners who place narrow constraints on what they are comfortable with you being are unhelpful - but you are not going to be a whole of help to them or to your family if your stress levels go through the roof and you are forced to deny yourself.  Venting is good.  We are hear to listen and to support.  We have been in some pretty dark spaces to so we understand your pain.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Raell]

Someone on an androgyne forum posted this link to a short documentary on intersex parents raising "hen" children in Sweden without gender expectations. The kids are allowed to dress and identify as they please, even if it changes from day to day.

What it's like to be "Raised Without Gender" http://www.salon.com/2017/07/28/raised-without-gender-vice-documentary/#.WX0OPEt8xYI.twitter

[elkie-t]

I would love to move to Thailand, but what will I do there for living? I'm very far yet from receiving government's check...


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[Raell]

If you are a native English speaker, have a college degree, teaching certificate, or TOEFL certificate, you can probably teach ESL in Thailand. Check online for jobs, or look at the http://www.ajarn.com/ job board.

If you are willing to live like a Thai, such as eating local food, taking public transportation, or buying a used motorbike, you can live cheaply here.

Many US kids come here right out of college, and tend to spend their salaries on drinking, drugs, partying at resorts, buying cars, eating meals at expensive western style restaurants, renting western style apartments, and they are often/usually broke.