Ready to transition

[Kris lincks]

Hello friends my name is kris, i am 26 years old i have a fiance who i have been with for 3 years and i have finally made the choice to transition. I have been through mental ups and downs on making sure this is what i want and need and dream about. I have been on my road in gender identity for about 4 years now. The major obstacle that was holding me back from finalizing my decision on gender therapy and taking t  was the fact that i still struggle keeping any kind of relationship with my father because i am gay he has a hard time as it is accepting i date woman. So with that being said i knew the last 4 years what i would loose if i transitioned into male and that would be the fact i would no longer have him. 4 yrs later i realize i might loose 1 but will gain so much more, having my 32 double ds taken off and starting t will be the happy day of my life other than meeting my fiance. I will feel free and alive. I recently have started doing drag as well my drag king name is lil kris i chose that name because i do rap music on the side as a hobby i used to have a producer  but now its just me and i do my songs at my drag shows. This is my outlet it helps me feel more of a man. The support i recieve from my significant other is by far the luckiest i could have gotten, she is the one who initiated the conversation on my transition, telling me that she fell in love with me for my personality and heart and kind soul. She says that no matter what testosterone injections and top surgery bring i to the picture or how they affect us she will stick by my side mentally and physically through it all. She would then be considered pan sexual bc she is gay but would be dating a man so she has come to terms with it. She is okay with the transition because she knows me better than anybody does and can feel i am in the wrong body. My mother is very supportive and so is most of my family but the costs of top surgery and t is what i am concerned  about, i am wondering what are the steps some of you took to start your journeys and how u got uo the money? I was thinking about trying to get together a benefit for me for top surgery any opinions on that? I also just purchased my first binder offline. Will be here thursday so im stoked.

[Laurie]

Hi Kris,

   I'm Laurie, MTF and I like to think of myself as an unofficial greeter for this site. So please let me extend a Welcome to Susan's Place to you and give you a ((Hug)). Please do come in and take a look around. We have quite a bit of information here and someone will be along in a few to provide a few useful links for you. You know site rules, how we do things, and links to some good information that may help you with your journey. Come on in and sit right down. Get yourself comfortable.
   Thank you for telling us a little bit about yourself and your very supportive girlfriend. She is a gem in your life. Making a decision with all the ramifications is a really hard decision. Your fear of losing you relationship with your dad can make it especially hard. You have to remember you are his daughter in his eyes, daughters are really really something special to a father. What you have decided to do though hard for you to make can be impossible for your dad to accept. Then again if his love for you is like I think it is he may just surprise you one day if not right away. Either way he will feel like he is losing you Kris. You will have to do what you must because living a life you feel is not yours will never work. You must do it and then throw the dice and see how things turn out.
   I myself have been dealing with much them same thing except reversed. My daughter whom I will always love cannot accept me being a trans woman. It hurts. It hurts even more than she and my son in law have five children that I love. I don't know when or  even if I will see them again. When I went full time I stopped contact with them and so far it hasn't seemed to matter, but for me it is better this way though it still hurts a lot.
   I have to be who I am just as you need to be who you are.

Again welcome to Susan's and hope you like it here.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I paid for the transition out of my pocket so I needed quite a bit of money. When I grew up our family wasn't exactly rolling in money but it seemed we always had what we needed. This was because we spent as little money as possible, made or repaired what we needed and limited our luxuries. When I started my journey, I applied those lessons to my life. I had a reasonably good paying job and didn't owe any money. While I could have worked a part time job, I had sufficed money to take another approach. I don't drink coffee, alcohol or smoke but food was an area I could cut back. I limited myself to one hamburger stand visit a week and all other food came out of my kitchen. That cut my food bill to about a third of eating out. Entertainment was broadcast TV and reading material so my bills were my apartment rent, power, telephone, auto insurance, gas plus a pile of medical bills. I figured about a third of my income went to medical expenses and the remain covered everything else. List all you expenses over a month then decide what you really have to have and what you can live without. You may have more money than you think.

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[Kendra]

Hello Kris and welcome! 

I'm glad you joined, and great to hear you have an amazing fiance who understands and fully supports your transition.  Things are definitely looking up for you.  The situation with your father is unfortunate but I sense you are working through this.

Dena is right - although money for transition can be a real challenge, sometimes it's a matter of priorities and might be possible to move transition up by postponing other things.  These are difficult and personal decisions, but one thing that made this easier for me is realizing I get to enjoy the benefits for the rest of my life, where other things I might buy are temporary or less important. 

I am not familiar with chest binders or breast removal surgery (I am MTF) but a large number of members here are FTM and have experience with this.  The cost of surgery can seem crazy expensive, I don't know which country you are in (I live in the US near Seattle) but surgery in other countries is something to consider.  In most cases the US is the most expensive location for surgery - 2 to 3 times more expensive.  The main thing is find a surgeon with a great reputation and track record.  If possible, find and talk to several other patients of the same surgeon before deciding.

Best wishes on your adventure, and looking forward to seeing you around here! 

Kendra

[Dan]

Welcome Kris!

I'm FTM, live in Australia and have been on T for just over a month. It is one of the best decisions I've made. The feeling that freedom of expression gives is exhilarating.  I walk taller, feel more confident to allow myself to be me, and am practically in love with life.

You are right. You might lose a few people along your journey towards becoming the real you, but you will gain mental and physical health. You will also find out who your real friends are and are willing to support you through all the ups and downs of life.

If you can confirm what country you are in, then it will make it easier for people to provide some guidance as to costs involved to make the transition. Most likely, T will be the lowest cost first step. Top surgery can be saved for.

See you around!

[SailorMars1994]

welcome !

[V M]

Hi Kris 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Kris lincks]

I live in the US and from the research i have done it costs a tremendous  amount of money if your health insurance  doesnt cover it.

Welcome Kris!

I'm FTM, live in Australia and have been on T for just over a month. It is one of the best decisions I've made. The feeling that freedom of expression gives is exhilarating.  I walk taller, feel more confident to allow myself to be me, and am practically in love with life.

You are right. You might lose a few people along your journey towards becoming the real you, but you will gain mental and physical health. You will also find out who your real friends are and are willing to support you through all the ups and downs of life.

If you can confirm what country you are in, then it will make it easier for people to provide some guidance as to costs involved to make the transition. Most likely, T will be the lowest cost first step. Top surgery can be saved for.

See you around!

[Kendra]

Susan's has several forums focused on various surgical procedures with feedback based on experience.  Once you have enough posts you will be able to private message with Susan's members - talk to a patient of a potential surgeon.  This can be especially reassuring if you consider traveling across the globe for surgery.

My parents live in the US half-time and have Medicare benefits but have all their dental work done in Thailand.  The cost of major procedures in Thailand including airfare and lodging is quite a bit less than US costs - even after factoring insurance.  Their primary doctor in Thailand was trained in London and speaks perfect English (better than us 'mericans )

Mexico is not far from the US.  If a surgical facility has earned a solid reputation with caring doctors and good equipment, the location isn't as important as the results you will leave with.