When I started this journey a year ago I was not certain where it would lead. I did not know if my wife would stay with me, what my daughters would think, or how my friends and neighbors would react, but I knew anything would be better than the path I had been on for over 40 years. I was slowly sinking into a pit of rage, and doing nothing would only take me deeper into the darkness. My future seemed hopeless, so decided to take a leap of faith and choose a new direction.
There were no maps, signs or other markings along this new path, and for a while I was lost and confused. After a month or two my mind began to clear and my dark cloud of anger began to dissipate. One day I smiled for no reason, for the first time in decades I had felt a moment of peace. Slowly, day after day, those moments of peace grew and the smiles became more frequent. There were a few things that could still bring back my anger, but as the smiles increased the darkness continued to fade.
I was getting my life back, yet I was frightened. I knew that one day I would need to tell others about my secret. After several months I built up the courage to tell someone, and suddenly the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. It was an intensely emotional moment. Although I now felt even more at peace, I was still not ready for the world to know. I still had to keep my secret.
I did not realize it at the time, but telling that first person had cracked the wall of my dungeon. A thin shaft of light now fell on the part of my soul which had been kept in darkness all of these years. Silently she began to grow and gain strength. The months passed quietly, until one morning the hidden part of my soul came to life. A wave of emotion washed over me. My hands began to shake, then they went numb. At first I didn't know what was happening, but soon I understood. That thin shaft of light had allowed the hidden part of my soul to gain enough strength to grow, and now she had blossomed. I knew she was now ready. Less than a month later everything was in place and I introduced Jessica Rose to the world. It was a beautiful day.
A little over a month has passed since that day, the day Jessica Rose first viewed the world through her own eyes. My wife is still with me, my daughters still love me, and all of my friends and neighbors are still my friends. Everything seems normal. I look in the mirror and I cannot believe what I have done, then I smile. Every new day is beautiful. My soul is finally free to live her life, by her rules. And again, I smile. I am at peace.
This is not the end of my journey, it is merely a new beginning.
