I dont know if im trans

[Skarrr]

I never ever had like "oh this guy is cute " i never felt attracted to a guy,but if i became a female i guess im okay with being with a guy i always fascinate about what it is like to be a girl. i think its really nice to be a female. Like i want to be. I dont know what i am .

[HoneyStrums]

Welcome.

Part of our instincts as human being is the desire to breed. Unfortunately, Some times the way our brain chemistry dictates and desires to breed, doesnt allways fall in line with how our biology is equipped for doing so.

For A Long while, I confused recognising beauty with sexual attraction. If you are questioning you gender, I suggest finding a therapist to talk through these issues. And you dont know what you are? Your Human Aint ya

Welcome to susans, Be sure to read the forum rules.

[Dan]

Welcome to Susan's!

Are you trans? Only you can tell that, and there are many factors to consider, not just if you are sexually attracted to one gender or another.  Check out this video, it might help.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. The simple statement that you want to become a girl indicates you are transgender. Beyond that, there are additional questions that need to be asked as transgender is a very broad term and the treatments you desire will be based off where you fit in. A gender therapist would help greatly in figuring this out but for now I can give you a couple of links that might help. The first is our WIKI where transgender is defined. Next is "the transition channel" where a gender therapist will help you explore your feelings. Let us know if you have any additional questions and we will do our best to answer them.

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.


I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site.  It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Rachel]

Welcome to susan's

[Devlyn]

Welcome to Susan's Place, Skarrr!

I never ever had like "oh this guy is cute " i never felt attracted to a guy,but if i became a female i guess im okay with being with a guy i always fascinate about what it is like to be a girl. i think its really nice to be a female. Like i want to be. I dont know what i am .

Well.....you're the only one who's going to be able to us who and what you are. It can be a long road figuring that out, but that's what this site is here for. You gotta work on that gender/sex/orientation thing, though. Completely different concepts. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[widdershins]

Yep. Just since no one's explicitly said it yet: your gender and your sexual orientation are two different things. It's possible to be a trans woman who's only attracted to women (and any other combination of gender/orientation.) So who you're attracted to isn't really an indicator or whether you're trans or not. But wanting to be a woman is.

[JoanneB]

I never thought guys were cute either. Back in my early 20's during my transition "Experiments", how I felt about and even with guys was a big factor in a decision to continue along that path. Luckily I failed that test because I would be dead today if I did back then. I was ill prepared for the challenges that laid ahead.

Fast forward some 30 years, add a lot of hard work put into fixing myself from the inside out, and some healthy(er) doses of HRT and now some guys are cute, while others are    Never saw that one coming!

[Skarrr]

Its like i want to be a really good looking girl and get all the attention , like , life is so much easier that way . im also worried about how i might look if i transitoned(?) and how much doesit cost ? total .im only 19

[Dena]

Many CIS women have the same dream that you do but they need to live with what nature gives them. Yes, plastic surgery can improve things a bit but the real reason to transition is to be comfortable with yourself and not for the attention of others. There are many people who transition but don't pass well. Still they are happy because they are no longer uncomfortable with their body.

As for cost, insurance might cover some of the cost but otherwise you should get a good education that will help you working at a job that pays well and that you enjoy. Costs vary greatly depending on surgeons and other treatments but it might run $50,000 to $100,000.

[KathyLauren]

Its like i want to be a really good looking girl and get all the attention , like , life is so much easier that way .

I am not sure if anyone here would agree with you about it being easier.  For many, or even most of us, transitioning is the hardest thing we have ever done.  On the other hand, the reward is the best feeling ever.

[BlueJaye]

I never ever had like "oh this guy is cute " i never felt attracted to a guy,but if i became a female i guess im okay with being with a guy i always fascinate about what it is like to be a girl. i think its really nice to be a female. Like i want to be. I dont know what i am .

Hi, Skarrr, I'm glad you came here. I am just starting the process of dealing with my gender issues and joined this forum a few days ago. When I first joined one of the other members made a comment that really made sense to me. Being transgender is not A or B, but a pretty broad spectrum. Gender identity doesn't necessarily have any connection with sexual orientation.

I am dealing with feelings of needing to be female like you, but I'm a straight married man. And even if someday I decide to transition to female, I only have eyes for my wife. I love her tremendously, find her very attractive, and am dead certain that will never change. My level of sex drive might change, the way my body responds to my wife could change, but I have no doubt that she will always be the one I want to be with. Being transgender has never, and never will, made me have desires toward men.

I can't say for certain what being transgender means for you, but you don't have to doubt what or who you are just because your gender identity doesn't seem to match a conventional idea of what your sexual orientation should be. If you are a transgender woman, nothing says you must find men attractive or else you are disqualified from being female.

[HoneyStrums]

Hi, Skarrr, I'm glad you came here. I am just starting the process of dealing with my gender issues and joined this forum a few days ago. When I first joined one of the other members made a comment that really made sense to me. Being transgender is not A or B, but a pretty broad spectrum. Gender identity doesn't necessarily have any connection with sexual orientation.

I am dealing with feelings of needing to be female like you, but I'm a straight married man. And even if someday I decide to transition to female, I only have eyes for my wife. I love her tremendously, find her very attractive, and am dead certain that will never change. My level of sex drive might change, the way my body responds to my wife could change, but I have no doubt that she will always be the one I want to be with. Being transgender has never, and never will, made me have desires toward men.

I can't say for certain what being transgender means for you, but you don't have to doubt what or who you are just because your gender identity doesn't seem to match a conventional idea of what your sexual orientation should be. If you are a transgender woman, nothing says you must find men attractive or else you are disqualified from being female.

EDIT:   So I was just smiling. At that line. And I had this feeling like I was watching somebody growing up. Thats one of the benefits of this site. If HrT can be called a second puberty, then It makes sense that, transition is about growing. and finally being able to do something that most others take for granted. Learning to be ourselves. A lot of us spent our youth not being our self but trying to be the model of expectations.

Hopefully Susans and its community will help you break free from those chains holding you back, and learn to be yourself.

No matter the outcome. Welcome to the boards, and Its nice to meet you

[Skarrr]

But.. lets say if i were to like accept that i was trans , where would i get the money from ? And does anyone know if Singapore has any insurance for trans i cant seem to find them. 2 more questions is that am i able to roughlyhave a preview of howi would look like after surgery by the surgeons ? Would i know what my voice would sound like after the surgery before hand ?

[Dena]

I worked and saved to get the money I needed. It's one reason to get a good education or go into a trade that pays well.

If you are talking about FFS, it's possible to get a rough idea what you will look like but results will vary a little from what might be projected.

As for voice, that may be the most difficult. Voice surgery doesn't really change your voice much. It's the work you put into it in therapy that make the difference. I have heard MTFs who worked hard and without surgery had an excellent feminine voice. I have also heard MTFs who had surgery but weren't putting the effort into their voice and they still sounded male. Surgical voices are 50% surgery and 50% therapy. Because of this a preview of your voice isn't possible unless you discover what you are capable of in voice therapy before surgery.

This is a gamble and if you want everything, you can't be sure you will get it. If you are willing to settle for less, there is a possibly you will get most of what you want.

[Skarrr]

Hmm okay thank you ! sorry im relatively new to this , so please bear with me. Is it possible for me to go to a clinic that offers the surgery  and consult them about how i would look if i were to transition ? I dont think i want to transition if i dont look good . And is it better to do FFM at Thailand or Korea ?

[Dena]

Virtual FFS is done by a skilled artist and normally they would have an understanding of how a particular surgeon alters the face. There are only a few I know of and they don't normally work with Thai or Korean surgeons. A console with a surgeon might give you an idea what they would do for you but remember results will vary some from what is described. If you want guaranteed results, the transition might not be the best idea for you. Normally we transition because we are uncomfortable in our current role. I didn't expect to be attractive when I transitioned. I only wanted the discomfort I felt to end. The real question to ask your self is can you go the next 60 or 70 years in your current role and be happy. For those of us who are transitioning the answer is no.

[Raell]

Hi, Skarrr

Here's a link to sex change operations in Singapore. Apparently, people are now going to South Korea, or Thailand due to changes in gender operation policy.

Dr Song of Cape Clinic, in Singapore, says a male-to- female operation costs $55,000, although they only cost $8,000 to $15,000 six years ago.

Eight in 10 patients referred for surgery now choose to go to Thailand, since a full sex change operation costs around $20,000.

"Those who go overseas for surgery may have to do without the immediate support of family and friends right after surgery, while cultural and language differences may affect the quality of post-operative care," said Oogachaga Counselling and Support deputy director, Leow Yangfa. Oogachaga provides support for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender group.

http://oogachaga.com/contactus
https://www.facebook.com/oogachaga/

Sex change operations dwindling in Singapore http://str.sg/hcK

[AnneK]

Eight in 10 patients referred for surgery now choose to go to Thailand, since a full sex change operation costs around $20,000.

The more I read here, the more I'm glad I'm in Canada.  GCS is covered by our health insurance.  I also wouldn't have to travel so far for surgery.  Brassard's Montreal clinic is only a 1 hour flight (I used to have relatives there) and the Toronto clinic that's planned for next year is about a half hour drive, outside of rush hour.  It's close enough that a cab ride isn't out of the question.  Sure beats flying for several hours to south east Asia.