Clothes....

[OblivionLight]

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, but I figured this was going to be the best place to ask/discuss this...

So, I'm a pretty SMALL dude. And by small I mean I'm about 5'3 (163cm) and have always worn a ladies S (EU 34/36), plus due to some conditions etc I also have a shorter than average back, which leads to a big difficulty finding clothes that fit well. I've tried men's XS at shops that actually make clothes for men in that size, and even though it fits all right on the shoulders SOMETIMES, it's always much too long, and it's pretty disheartening. It actually triggers my dysphoria as well, because it kind of feels like I'm doomed to dress either feminine or just sloppily for the rest of my life, and neither are things I want.

Anyone got experience with this? What did you do/where do you look for clothes? Also, am I the only one who gets dysphoria from knowing (high end) brands pretty much tell I'm too small to be a man?

And yes, I've looked at the biggest size in boy's clothing, but... often, it just doesn't suit my style since it's so obviously made for kids.

[Mirath]

I'm a UK 6, and around your height, so I feel your pain, heh.

Most men's aren't small enough (on both arms and length), so I often look at the teenage boys section - weirdly things that fit 12-13 year old boys fit me fine. I'm pre-T so that might change things...

Even though most clothes are much... 'younger' looking, I often try and pick out clothes that have a more formal style to them, and some school/dance clothes fit me much better and look better than most casual clothes. However, when it comes to underwear and socks, I love brightly-coloured patterns so this isn't a problem (thank the Oddsocks company for that).

I don't really get dysphoria from ill-fitting men's clothes, but trousers that fit awkwardly around my legs are the worst and I'll often feel like getting out of them as quickly as possible.

Most department stores don't tend to go that small, but I personally have found success in Next for tops/shirts mostly, and Burtons has been good for me to find trousers (for casual and work).

[N A]

I'm about 5'3 (163cm) and have always worn a ladies S (EU 34/36), plus due to some conditions etc I also have a shorter than average back

Are you me??

I've had the same problems trying to find something that's nice looking and even remotely fitting. I think my favorite clothes are all from some developing countries where men on average are smaller (or there's greater variance) in size than up here where I live. So I've done a fair deal of my male clothes shopping when traveling. Nothing expensive, just casual stuff that more or less fits. I've been blessed with relatively broad shoulders and narrow hips so that probably helps too. Back home it's harder to find anything, so I mostly look for stuff that is either unisex or one size (so mostly accessories and stuff)

That said I really don't have any advice, just wanted to stop by to say I feel you.

Also, am I the only one who gets dysphoria from knowing (high end) brands pretty much tell I'm too small to be a man?

What do you mean by high end brand? Suits and other fancy stuff or something casual?
If former, then I'd say forget those stupid brands and get a tailor-made suit, will fit and look good on anyone!

[Ryuichi13]

Maybe you could find clothes that come close, but are a little too long/wide/etc and then have them taylored to fit you.

Good luck! ☺

Ryuichi

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[Kylo]

I have a cis male friend your height, he doesn't feel too small to be a man and admits to shopping in the boys sections for certain clothing items of select stores. For formal wear it's actually easier for him because they do seem to be aware that shorter or younger men or boys also need shirts, ties, suit jackets for various occasions and offer tailoring as well. I've been to stores with him while he was hunting for specific items (belts, for example, which he requires to be shorter than most adult male belts because he's shorter and super skinny) it sometimes needs more digging around in the clothing stores or asking the assistants to seek something out but he can usually find what he needs.

I'm not especially tall so I notice the sleeves can be long on some types of shirts, coats etc. I can usually find some clothing that either offers shorter sleeves or clothing types where it doesn't matter or isn't visible. It takes a bit more looking and double checking the length before buying but I manage. Speaking of my friend, though, he likes looking smart and seems to find clothing his size from somewhere. It's been helpful to have someone like him on the scene because he absolutely feels no shame at all in his size and barely registers it as any sort of issue for him in life. If he doesn't care, why should I, etc.

[Dena]

With extra material a tailor or somebody handy with a sewing machine can take the clothes in to fit correctly. The length can be adjusted and if needed the side seam can be moved for a closer fit. If you are buying high end dress clothes, the odds are the shop will have an in store tailor who will make the adjustments for you as part of the purchase price. Try asking in mom and pop operations if they have somebody who can make alterations.  I have at times had jeans that were longer than they should be and it was fairly simple to take a little off the cuff and redo the seams.

[TransAm]

Similar to what N A said, have you tried looking for clothes geared toward the Asian population? The clothing is very short in the torso and really just smaller in general.

Other than that, I agree with Dena: Find a tailor. There are still independent ones if you look around and, more often than not, their prices are very agreeable. Those XS shirts that you're finding that fit you in everything but length could easily be shortened if you found ones you really liked/wanted. Just make sure you wash them before taking them in because they'll usually shrink up a good 1-3 inches in length.

Very few people fit the 'standard' sizes sold in stores ideally, anyway, even when it comes to relatively stupid things like t-shirts. I see dudes walking around all the time with huge boxy sleeves, mid-sections that look like they're being strangled by the fabric while their shoulders/arms have way too much space, etc.

[jagfel]

Seconding Stone Magnum, I'm in between an XS and an S and I just bought a cheap shirt online from an Asian store and it fits me PERFECTLY.

What I do for everything I buy from a physical store is either tuck it in or pair it with a jacket or another shirt that doesn't make it look as long. With sleeves, I always wear them rolled up.

[OblivionLight]

Thanks for all the replies! I gotta admit that I've only recently been starting to shop at male sections, so I'm still fairly new to it all and figuring it out, but everything you've all said is really helpful and I'll keep all of it in mind. Shirts being a bit longer could fit my style quite easily, but sometimes I'm a bit amazed by sizing - both in female and male clothing. Nothing is ever the same, even within the same brand and/or store  but that's marketing for you.

I could ask my mum to tailor my clothes eventually, though I'll have to come out first which I'm not quite ready for, and I'll definitely try and look for clothes targeted at Asian men. It's mostly just the torso part that's really much too long, and it just kind of becomes awkward most of the time. It's fine for hoodies etc because I prefer them to be a bit longer anyway

Sleeves generally aren't an issue if it falls within the XS-S range since I do have fairly long arms though, lol. My body is all out of proportion :')

[N A]

Shirts being a bit longer could fit my style quite easily, but sometimes I'm a bit amazed by sizing - both in female and male clothing. Nothing is ever the same, even within the same brand and/or store  but that's marketing for you.

If it makes you feel any better, I can tell you I have heard many average-size cis males complain about shirts being way too long recently. Seems to be a trend.

But it's true what Stone Magnum said; cis or not, few of us will ever fit perfectly in the standards. Hell, I can hardly find anything fitting in ladies department, what with my shoulders and hips, so I always feel like I'm wearing the wrong thing anyway.

Sleeves generally aren't an issue if it falls within the XS-S range since I do have fairly long arms though, lol. My body is all out of proportion :')

High five! That makes two of us, then 

[Megan.]

Not really my area anymore [emoji4], but Superdry and some of the other big Asian brands run quite small compared to Western fits.

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[Alexthecat]

The boys section is your friend. I also have luck at kohls on the discount racks when the seasons change.

[Raell]

I'm a partial transmale who lived as an androgynous female all my life, so bought my clothes in the children's section, or bought small men's sizes,
I altered clothing bought at yardsales and consignment shops,
I designed and made my own comfy, durable clothing to suit my interests, such as tree and rock climbing, horse trail riding and jumping, hiking, extreme bird photography, etc.

And yes, Asian men's clothing should fit someone your size.

[dissipate]

I am 164cm and wear a boys' L. Usually fits well. For more formal type clothing, you could try Ralph Lauren's dress shirts for boys. Alternatively, if you can afford it, travel to Asia and stock up on men's clothing there

[invisiblemonsters]

i'm around your height but i'm also built like a fridge, so i don't have issues shopping for clothes usually. i usually wear mens medium, sometimes a large but it really depends on what it is because i could be swimming in it if it is a large. the only issue i really have is with pants where they are too long (because my frame is big they are made for generally someone taller with my waist size) but i wear work boots mostly, so i don't have to care about them dragging on the ground. however, my brother is the same height and super skinny compared to me and he usually shops in the boys section as well or gets a mens small/xs which generally fit him. we both shop at old navy for clothing. they seem to have clothes that fit both of us well. i hear these stores cater to smaller guys: Zara, Express, Banana Republic, H&M, Peter Manning, REISS, American Apparel.

[Just_M]

Shopping for clothes is triggering for me too. I'm 156 cm tall and I've just had to failed attempts at shopping for men's clothes. Needless to say, I looked too bad. XS sizes are super hard to find, tailoring is expensive and brands like Superdry are pricey. I feel like there's no way around the fact that I'll never be able to fit the fancy clothes I'd like to wear without going bankrupt or receiving odd stares.
Just two days ago I went to a store two blocks away from home. I tried two shirts and they sort of fitted me okay but they were too long (arms and bottom) or too loose in my shoulders. I was in the men's section and there were a few men near the dressing area, but no one seemed to care I was in there (I'm pre everything and do not pass at all). But nobody laughed at me or mocked me, which was nice. As a matter of fact, the sales lady was really kind when I asked her if I could try on those shirts, made me feel less scared and just a little bit more confident. But the clothes didn't quite fit, their quality was cheap and the style was too informal.
A few days before that I went to a fancy place for men's formal clothing, but the sales lady seemed surprised when I asked if they had a polo shirt in an XS size for me. It was a shame really, not so much for the sizing, but the woman's attitude. European main cities are not so open-minded as I thought they'd be...

[Ryuichi13]

Shopping for clothes is triggering for me too. I'm 156 cm tall and I've just had to failed attempts at shopping for men's clothes. Needless to say, I looked too bad. XS sizes are super hard to find, tailoring is expensive and brands like Superdry are pricey. I feel like there's no way around the fact that I'll never be able to fit the fancy clothes I'd like to wear without going bankrupt or receiving odd stares.
Just two days ago I went to a store two blocks away from home. I tried two shirts and they sort of fitted me okay but they were too long (arms and bottom) or too loose in my shoulders. I was in the men's section and there were a few men near the dressing area, but no one seemed to care I was in there (I'm pre everything and do not pass at all). But nobody laughed at me or mocked me, which was nice. As a matter of fact, the sales lady was really kind when I asked her if I could try on those shirts, made me feel less scared and just a little bit more confident. But the clothes didn't quite fit, their quality was cheap and the style was too informal.
A few days before that I went to a fancy place for men's formal clothing, but the sales lady seemed surprised when I asked if they had a polo shirt in an XS size for me. It was a shame really, not so much for the sizing, but the woman's attitude. European main cities are not so open-minded as I thought they'd be...

I don't know if you have them where you are, but have you tried thrift/second hand stores?  Often you can find inexpensive but fairly nice clothes there.  You can also try them on in order to find your size.  Also, you can go there without much judgement, as most people are simply trying to find inexpensive things for themselves. 

And if they stare, so what?  Chances are, you'll never see them again anyways.

I had no idea what sizes I was in mens clothes  until I went to the mens section of a thrift store with things I thought I could fit.  Now I know. [emoji16]

Good luck!

Ryuichi
 

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