A guy fantasising about being a woman. Should I get help?

[WoobiE]

Okay, so I am pretty inclined to see my GP for discussions so if it is needed I can get referred to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
I'm a 29 yr old male and have not exactly had any problems with my gender. But ever since hitting puberty and onward till now, I have always had fantasies about being a woman. I'd say I wouldn't think it was that serious but then again I might be fooling myself with how I always keep myself busy to have little down time to think. Maybe you could say to drown out any unwanted thoughts. But as of recent years, I've been getting into reading a lot of lesbian stories and always, and I mean always fantasise about being that characters and situations from the stories. This last week I had a lot of spare time and was kept up kinda late with thoughts of who I am and my gender. I've been fantasising about what sort females clothes I would wear, hair styles and how I would love to have my sister put on make up for me (she is a makeup artist). Not only that but  I've just started to wear thermal leggings for men, but the thing is I really enjoy the feeling of wearing them and think of them as female stocking/leggings and really appreciate how it shows off the curves on the legs. Even with pornography I would imagine I was the woman.

I'm not sure if this is a long phase of something that will eventually go away since I would not say it is causing depression, anxiety or any other mental related health issues. But the thoughts are kinda always floating around and a bit more prominent lately.

Should I definitely see a GP and get the ball rolling?
Also what health insurer does everyone go with? Do I need to have extras for psychology or only the standard in-hospital psychiatry?

[AnonyMs]

The next step would be to see a gender therapist to help you work things out. The details depend on where you live. In Sydney there's a free one at the Sydney Gender Center.

GPs generally don't do much except refer you somewhere else. I suggest you find out for yourself what you need to do as your GP probably won't know, and there's easy and hard ways if doing all this.

[Jacqueline]

Hi WoobiE,

Welcome to the site.

It was brave and I thank you for sharing such personal things. For some of us it took a long time to get to the point you are reaching now. Took me about 50.  Some know immediately others takes nearly all their lives to come to grips with being different.

You are not alone in either your search to make sense of this feeling or in being from Australia. We have a large membership of all ages, geography, experience and location on what we tend to call the trans spectrum. You have started to get some good advice already.

Remember, everyone is different. Some people are fine dressing like their preferred gender, once in a while. Others go part way and still others go all through surgeries. There is no one way nor is there a "right" way. Some folks see themselves as not all of either gender and sort of live in the middle using "they, them, theirs" pronouns.

I agree that getting to a gender therapist(specialised psych doctor) is the best first thing to do. They can help guide you through the maze of questions that are probably there and where they might lead you. Only you can figure out who you really are but they can help you eliminate pats that arn't right or are dangerous.

If you don't mind, I want to move this whole topic to our introductions section. Just post in this topic to let me know if I can. I think you will find some good help and company here.


I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site. It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Those are the typical symptoms of being transgender however some people feel it worst that others. As you spend more time on the site you will see that for yourself. We have many people just starting their transition in their 50's and 60's because they were able to control what they felt for years. We also have some younger member and in my case, I might have started on my transition at 13 had it been possible but I had to wait for the medical help to come within my reach so I wasn't able to start working on it till  I was about 23. There are two links you might want to look at. The first is our WIKI that will explain what transgender means. The second link is "the transition channel" where a gender therapist will help you explore your feelings. Let us know if you have any more questions.

[WoobiE]

Hi Jacqueline.
Thank you very much for the warm welcome and some much needed wisdom to help me see things in a better perspective. I'm planning to speak with a councillor soon and will see where this leads me.  And yes, I don't mind if you move this topic over to the introductions section. I will indeed take a good look around and read up.

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Hi Dena.
Thank you very much for the welcome and the insight. I totally thought that at my age it was late in coming out but how wrong I was. It must have been quite the journey for those transitioning at a later age and I wholeheartedly commend them for their strength and resilience. I will indeed take a good look around and read up.

[Janes Groove]

I have always had fantasies about being a woman.



I'm not sure if this is a long phase of something that will eventually go away

Welcome to the site WoobiE.  I can tell you for sure that this is not a phase and the feelings will not eventually go away.  In fact, the persistent thoughts and feelings you have just described make up one of the three pillars for a diagnosis of transgender.

1. persistent (check)
2. consistent
3. insistent

[Jacqueline]

Hi Jacqueline.
Thank you very much for the warm welcome and some much needed wisdom to help me see things in a better perspective. I'm planning to speak with a councillor soon and will see where this leads me.  And yes, I don't mind if you move this topic over to the introductions section. I will indeed take a good look around and read up.

...

WoobiE,

You're welcome. Good to hear you are setting up an appointment. I will go ahead and move this topic.

Warmly,

Jacqui

[warlockmaker]

I had the same fantacy. I am Eurasian and was born and grew up in Hong Kong, in an age before internet and information was lacking. My brother was one of the most famous gays in Asia. I tried gay but definitly was not me. So I just assumes I had kinky male thoughts that other males had also. I would fantacize being a female every night since 12 years old. Not knowing there was an alternative until my late fourties. But I was a very successful Alpha male, maybe because I had to prove I wias a real male. Other males do have kinky thoughs of being female occassionally, according to my therapist, but not every day.

I am now a TG female. I have a georgeous young boyfriend. I can dress feminine  but still like my sports. My profile pic is of me, the one in the middle and my boyfriend. We just did a 10k race in Bangkok. I love my life  and am art peace.

Take a look at my documentary On Youtube, Vice Media, Lost in time. Its a 2 part documentary. To have occassional fantaciesis ok, but if it becomes daily thoughts then its time to talk with a therapist

[V M]

Hi WoobiE 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[WoobiE]

Hi warlockmaker.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. It puts me more at ease to know there are many others who experience what I feel as well. Am glad that everything has worked out for you.

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Hi V M

Thank you for the warm welcome.