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Has anyone's gender dyphoria increased after starting HRT?

Started by cymoril, July 16, 2017, 11:13:01 PM

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cymoril

July 16, 2017, 11:13:01 PM
I've been on hormones for nearly five years.  Recently I have noticed my GD has gotten worse.  Has this happened to anyone else? 
Don't really know what to write here...  So I'll just write a little about myself.  For conciseness, I am a 48 y/o pre-op transsexual who's in a wheelchair.  I'm wheelchair bound due to AVN(avascular necrosis) which took three and a half inches from my right femur and I acquired due to HIV.  I got infected by the first man I was ever with.  So, after spending 40+ years in Texas and getting three felonies, I decided to move to San Francisco.
  I got here in 2010 and continued to drug myself until something happened...  I don't remember exactly what happened, but I do know I did something to ease my pain, which didn't help and I ended up in the ER.  After that, mind you I could still walk, barely, I was diagnosed with avascular necrosis.  Immediately I was sent to a hospital in really bad shape.  I was addicted to a copious amount of drugs and weighed less than 90lbs.  I was near death.  I spent two and a half years in hospital, quit drugs, got my own place and am doing quite well.
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Kendra

#1
July 16, 2017, 11:51:30 PM
I can't help from experience (I am about to start HRT) but I'd be curious about any underlying changes that might contribute to this.  Can't disclose specific dosages here, but have any prescriptions recently changed or the delivery method?  Does your history of hormone tests show a steady or sharp change over time?  Anything else that might change your health or metabolism - weight, work/sleep hours, etc. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Sarah.VanDistel

#2
July 17, 2017, 09:23:15 AM
Quote from: cymoril on July 16, 2017, 11:13:01 PM
I've been on hormones for nearly five years.  Recently I have noticed my GD has gotten worse.  Has this happened to anyone else?
Well... Not really worse, but the sources of dysphoria have changed. Before my decision to transition I was deeply bothered by the fact that I had the body of a man. Crossdressing worked reasonably well at alleviating these feelings, they were a sort of surrogate for a womanhood that I thought was unattainable. I wasn't bothered too much by details (beard, male facial structure...) because these aspects were overwhelmed by the dysphoria caused by the wrong "big picture". After the decision and beginning of HRT, I'm much more comfortable overall, but the focus of my dysphoria has changed. Now I'm bothered by my (remaining) beard, by my broad shoulders, by my voice...

So no, not really worse or more intense, but different.

Peace and hugs, Sarah

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
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Kendra

#3
July 17, 2017, 02:59:56 PM
Interesting observation Sarah.  After my beard was gone for good my voice started to bug me.  A lot.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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widdershins

#4
July 17, 2017, 11:05:30 PM
I don't know about my dysphoria getting worse, but my body insecurities in general totally have. Before, I literally didn't care what I looked like or whether I was attractive, because the person in the mirror wasn't remotely "me." Now that I can actually see myself in my reflection, I notice the fact that certain bits are overweight, that my skin isn't perfect, etc. And I actually care now, because it no longer feels like I'm hidden under a mask.

Like others have said, the focus of my dysphoria shifted too. My voice was a huge thing before. Now that it's dropped, I'm a lot more worried about my height, bone structure, etc., that T cant fix and I never worried about much previously.
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November Fox

#6
July 28, 2017, 12:01:20 PM
Yes actually.

At first it lessened as more hair started to grow and my body shape changed.
After half a year it got very, very intense. Definitely worse at times.

I think this is because the physical mismatch between certain body parts and the brain is now even greater.
Makes a lot of sense for me.
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JoanneB

#7
July 29, 2017, 09:41:34 AM
I've been on HRT for about 8 years now and my GD has it's major upswings at times. A large part of it can be traced to living full-time as male. Due to my circumstances part-time female has been off the table for a few years now. The stress of striking a reasonable balance between all the competing and sometimes conflicting needs can get to me.

TBH - I suspect even if I was full-time, I'd have my stressed out periods. Only I won't have the GD to lay blame to
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GrayKat

#8
August 14, 2017, 09:57:54 PM
Yes, I watch my body more closely so I am more aware of my physical 'deformities'
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