Getting over fear of medical treatments.

[anita]

A few years ago, I took chemotherapy and radiation to correct a rare auto immune disease (Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis / Bone). And as a side effect of these treatments, I ended with several serious issues lung problems (pneomothorax), hip bone issues(avascular necrosis/bilateral), sperm issues(azoospermia/severe). In ICU struggling against pneumothorax and surgeries to fix avascular necrosis have left a bad taste. Azoospermia prevented me from storing sperm before I started HRT.

I still can't walk properly with my legs two years later. I use to play table tennis professionally, that dream is long gone. Sometimes the pain is so bad I have to stay home a few days. Doctors are recommending total hip replacements. I feel so drained and cannot take surgeries and treatments that will probably put me in a worse situation. Even though everyone says pain will be lesser a few weeks after the surgery.

I wanted to get surgeries for transitioning, but I am scared of anything that will touch my body. Every time I ended up in so much pain and struggle. How do I cope and work through such medical problems?

[Cindy]

Hi Anita,

Firstly you are not alone.
I had my larynx removed last March following failed chemoradiotherapy for squamous cell carcinoma and I do understand the frustration, anger and feelings of betrayal that follow such procedures.
I was a public speaker, University lecturer and regularly invited to talk on television and radio programs about TG issue. I can no longer talk. I can communicate but my voice was removed along with my vocal cords. I can no longer capture an audience or motivate people and I miss it so.

It will not stop me and do not let your treatments stop you.

Dealing with chronic conditions and chronic pain is hard and often, if not always, needs some professional help. I am fortunate in having psychiatric support and close emotional support available to me and I lean on both heavily. I suggest that if you haven't already, do seek a good psychiatrist or psychologist to help you with dealing with some of the issues.

To have hip replacements or not? Well I do know that they are usually very successful and can provide pain free mobility again. Committing yourself to the surgery is something that is very personal and needs a lot of thought. Recovery from hip replacement needs commitment and work - as does recovery for GCS.

I think discussing your concerns is important to start dealing with them, I discussed my concerns a lot with my surgeons and they did help me make my decisions. I was contemplating not having my larynx removed and letting my cancer run its course.

Cindy

[anita]

Thanks Cindy, it is still very empowering to hear your voice on letter.

Currently I pass reasonably and travel often (on flights every two weeks). I hold a passport with Gender marker as female. But if I have metal implants due to THR, that would require manual inspection, and would I get in more trouble?Does any one have experience in that front?

[Cindy]

Thanks Cindy, it is still very empowering to hear your voice on letter.

Currently I pass reasonably and travel often (on flights every two weeks). I hold a passport with Gender marker as female. But if I have metal implants due to THR, that would require manual inspection, and would I get in more trouble?Does any one have experience in that front?

I'm very sure that this is not an issue. Many people have implants of one sort or another and I believe the usual process is to tell the people who scan you that you have implants and they do a quick scan and let you through.

[Dena]

The body scanners used in the United States are the equivalent of a strip search. If you warn them in advance so they know what to expect, you should have no difficulty passing through them. The good news is they wouldn't detect implants because they only examine the surface of the skin. The older medal detectors might detect metal depending on how much was used in the implant and the sensitivity of the machine but the operator have been dealing with implants for many years. My father had one over 40 years ago so there are time tested procedures in place to handle this.

The only warning is avoid any country that is anti transgender as those are dangerous under any condition.

[anita]

If my understanding is correct in US, official passport gender change is not issued until GCS is completed right? Or has the rules changed? I travel to US only once in a few months, most of the travel is restricted within India.

[Devlyn]

I'm petrified of medical stuff. You're not alone on that one. Good luck with your decisions.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Cindy]

If my understanding is correct in US, official passport gender change is not issued until GCS is completed right? Or has the rules changed? I travel to US only once in a few months, most of the travel is restricted within India.

I'm Australian so I cannot help on that one. However it would be your Indian documents that would be marked with your affirmed gender and would be taken into account. All of my documents show my gender as female so if I went to the USA I would fully expect to be treated as a female Australian citizen whether I had genital surgery or not.

[Devlyn]

If by "treated as a female Australian citizen" you mean immediately thrown in gaol, then yes, you are correct! 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Cindy]

If by "treated as a female Australian citizen" you mean immediately thrown in gaol, then yes, you are correct! 

Hugs, Devlyn

Not wishing to hijack Anita's important thread but last time I came back to Australia, immigration asked if I had committed any felonies overseas. I responded by saying that I hadn't realised that it was still compulsory.

[Dee Marshall]

If my understanding is correct in US, official passport gender change is not issued until GCS is completed right? Or has the rules changed? I travel to US only once in a few months, most of the travel is restricted within India.

Not strictly true. They'll change it but require more frequent updates. I think every two years. You can end that cycle with a letter from a doctor saying that your transition is basically irreversible. Some doctors will write that letter without GCS. The doctor just has to be convinced that you won't back out. They can't say GCS specifically because we have a body of law stating that you can't set special rules by gender and there is no really effective equivalent to GCS for trans men.

:

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!

Think outside the voice box!