First support group

[Bari Jo]

Hey girls, I went to my first support group tonight.  I kept asking myself,so are you really going in?  I did and was overwhelmed by the relief and emotion of just being there.  I introduced myself when called upon and mentioned, I'm not ready to tell my story to the group yet.  I was greeted with a "that's okay honey, where ever you are on your journey, we want you to know you aren't alone."  I almost cried, still am getting choked up.  I know we talk about ourselves online here, but in front of a group of actual people, that's quite different.  Way different than a therapist or doctor.  Those felt sterile and clinical to me.  This was empathy, warm inclusive empathy.  We actually didn't talk much about trans issues and I'm a bit glad.  I think if we did I might have been even more emotional.  Anyway, I do like meeting in a support group setting.  I didn't expect to feel this way, but I do.

[Jessica]

Hi Bari Jo 🙋🏼 I'm going to my first meeting next Tuesday.  I'm excited to be face to face with other girls and talk about it all.
Happy, Jessica 💁

[Bari Jo]

Hi Bari Jo 🙋🏼 I'm going to my first meeting next Tuesday.  I'm excited to be face to face with other girls and talk about it all.
Happy, Jessica 💁

When you go Jessica, try not to be as much of a scaredy cat like me.  Post how it was after too, I want to compare;)

[LizK]

Hey girls, I went to my first support group tonight.  I kept asking myself,so are you really going in?  I did and was overwhelmed by the relief and emotion of just being there.  I introduced myself when called upon and mentioned, I'm not ready to tell my story to the group yet.  I was greeted with a "that's okay honey, where ever you are on your journey, we want you to know you aren't alone."  I almost cried, still am getting choked up.  I know we talk about ourselves online here, but in front of a group of actual people, that's quite different.  Way different than a therapist or doctor.  Those felt sterile and clinical to me.  This was empathy, warm inclusive empathy.  We actually didn't talk much about trans issues and I'm a bit glad.  I think if we did I might have been even more emotional.  Anyway, I do like meeting in a support group setting.  I didn't expect to feel this way, but I do.

Congratulations for actually getting out of the car and going for it...well done that can easily be the hardest thing to do!!

It such a great feeling to get face to face with some one who "gets" you. Sounds like you had a really positive experience. A great support group is going to make life just that bit nicer for you and with any luck you might make some good friends. I know I have at the local meetup p[lace that I go too. Fantastic you had such a great time. I went to my first meeting and I can remember sitting in my car thinking to myself..."you are crazy"..."you have lost the plot"....but I just had to go and I was so glad that I finally did. 

So what's next on your list? 

[LizK]

Hi Bari Jo 🙋🏼 I'm going to my first meeting next Tuesday.  I'm excited to be face to face with other girls and talk about it all.
Happy, Jessica 💁

Hi Jessica

Will this be your first time out and about as yourself? Regardless I am sure you will enjoy your outing to the group. Let us know how you go.

[Tammy Jade]

Well done! Going to a group Meetup/ support group can be amazing!

I'm still getting to know the people at my local group but it is fantastic knowing there are other people out there to talk to who can relate and it's nice to see people face to face rather then just online. I remember walking around the block like three times before I went in the first time but it really made a huge difference in my transition to date.


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[Bari Jo]

So what's next on your list? 

Thanks Elizabeth, I don't know what's next.  I don't have a list.  Im going slow to ease myself in and those around me.  I'll continue with the support group, open up and dress a bit more femme next time.  Plus I'll be nice to my dog:)

Bari Jo

[LizK]

Plus I'll be nice to my dog:)

Bari Jo

The most import bit LOL

When I was trying to make up my mind about transition I went to the first support group meeting in all male mode...after about 2 minutes I wished I had the courage to go as myself...the next month I did and have never looked back, this is where you get to have some fun exploring your style!!

[Jessica]

Hi Jessica

Will this be your first time out and about as yourself? Regardless I am sure you will enjoy your outing to the group. Let us know how you go.

Do most women at this type of meeting dress as themselves?  I totally have a cute outfit to wear.
Hugs, Jessica 🙋🏼

[JoanneB]

I was in total shock during and long after my first ever TG Support group meeting. Nothing could ever compare being in a room filled with other people whose life stories and feelings mirrored your own in so many different ways. I never ever expected to feel the way I did so I figured it was just because it was so new. Same thing after my second meeting. By the end of the third I knew I NEEDED to be there.

[Jessica]

I'm excited to go, I'm certain I'll walk right in.  I have a colorful outfit, Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (coral) a cute blouse with lace trim and sandals.
Hugs, Jessica 👸

[Denise]

I'm excited to go, I'm certain I'll walk right in.  I have a colorful outfit, Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (coral) a cute blouse with lace trim and sandals.
Hugs, Jessica [emoji73]

Jessica,

   There is a newer support group (started in the spring) in Chicago that I started to attend at meeting number 2 or 3.

I've seen people come with full beards and "lawn mowing" clothes to heals, full make up and nice dresses.  We have had goth too.  People come in whatever they are comfortable (and in some cases, scared as hell) wearing. 

In the second or third time, people say that they were scared but was the best decision they made.  Some of us go out to a bar after support, some don't.  Those that are not out socially tend to not come for fear of being outed due to association.  As you can imagine, some pass some don't.

Typically first-timers are in the questioning phase and come in male mode, but by the third visit things change.  Sometimes first-timers come en-fem.

We actually talked about fear at our last group.  What coping mechanisms did people use to "walk out that door the first time?" Every person who was not full time talked about how they walked through the group session door.  And everyone had the same experience "the fear was so real, but totally unfounded."

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you could go wearing a burlap bag or a wedding dress and you accepted.  Just be yourself and relax.

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[DawnOday]

I was in total shock during and long after my first ever TG Support group meeting. Nothing could ever compare being in a room filled with other people whose life stories and feelings mirrored your own in so many different ways. I never ever expected to feel the way I did so I figured it was just because it was so new. Same thing after my second meeting. By the end of the third I knew I NEEDED to be there.

Ditto Joanne Well said.

[LizK]

Do most women at this type of meeting dress as themselves?  I totally have a cute outfit to wear.
Hugs, Jessica 🙋🏼

Then wear it...if you feel comfortable then go for it. In most cases support groups are the best places to try out your look. Have some fun with it...

I was too self conscious and went in guy mode...after about a minute I realised what a mistake that was but enjoyed myself anyway. Be you...enjoy!!

I'm excited to go, I'm certain I'll walk right in.  I have a colorful outfit, Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (coral) a cute blouse with lace trim and sandals.
Hugs, Jessica 👸

Sounds perfect....now you just have to work out the makeup shoes, jewellery, hair and nails...see nearly there LOL

[rmaddy]

Congrats on your first session.  I'm very happy that you found a good crew.

Be a little careful about groupthink, both in support group and here.  Your transition (or non-transition) is yours and yours alone.  Do what you do for your own sake and don't feel pressured by what anyone else is doing or telling you to do.

[Jessica]

Hi Elizabeth 🙋🏼 I haven't perfected my make up at all.  One might think I could get tips from my wife.  She rarely wears makeup.  It's because she never learned how when she was growing up.  She was a bit of a tomboy.  Maybe that's why she isn't having a hard time with me transitioning.
Hugs and smiles, Jessica 💁

[Bari Jo]

Be a little careful about groupthink, both in support group and here.  Your transition (or non-transition) is yours and yours alone.  Do what you do for your own sake and don't feel pressured by what anyone else is doing or telling you to do.

Thanks rmaddy, yes everything needs to be processed.  It really is freeing just to have someone to talk to.  You never realize how secrecy weighs on you till you are in an environment where you don't need it.

[Sarah_P]

That's great! I keep missing the group I'm going to be going to, since it always seems to be on the same days that I already had plans (why is everything I want to do on Thursday?). Anyway, I've got next months meeting on the calendar & am absolutely going to it!
I actually already met one of them, since she on the staff for the LGBT+ center. I talked to her a few months ago, just as I was starting to transition, well before I had ever dressed female in public (in fact, I was a frightened mess!). She gave me lots of great advice, as well as the courage to continue on this road.

[Laurie]

 Hi all,

   I had a little different experience in my first experience with a group.  First problem it is in an area of Portland I do not care for let alone on a rainy night dressed en femme for if I remember right my first time out. It didn't help that I had to park three blocks away and walk under an umbrella. I know these are not the groups fault but it does impact my experience. I arrived there and was able to meet another of Susan's finest there which was one of the reasons I had decided to give it a try. I met a couple others there who were friendly enough before the meeting started with a round of names and pronouns and a brief status. then the meeting actually got started. I found the meeting strange and from what I understand it was an unusual one from their normal meetings. This had more the flavor of a business meeting rather than support. I didn't much care for it and due to it's location I haven't been back.
   There is also a VA sponsored support meeting for vets, but again due to it being in an even less liked location I have not gone to it.
  I haven't found any other meetings in my area so I do not go to any all all.

On a side note the other member from here  has been a delight and I've stayed at her place for the Astoria Pride weekend and she got me involved in the festivities by proximity to her. I loved it.
  Tessa,  if you read this Thank you for getting me started. Loves ya girl.

Hugs,
  Laurie