New and confused

[lux.verum.et.libre]

Hello all, I'm a questioning AMAB 17 (nearly 18) year old. I've lurked at the site on and off for the last 3 months and finally decided to make an account. I'm new to forums (both here and in general) so please bear with me. I've only been questioning for the last 5-7 months so everything is still rather new to me (therapy is not however as I have depression). My family, closest friends, and therapists know I'm questioning. Everyone I've told has been supportive. I did see the closest person to a child gender therapist that was both where I lived and covered by insurance. (It was recommended by one of my therapist). (I have two therapist only because of insurance; I rarely see one of them while the other is much more often). I'm not 100% sure if I'm mtf. Until I really started questioning, wanting to transition was like an incomplete puzzle: in fragments and pieces missing. I've wanted certain femine attributes, but never put everything together until I start questioning. (It was the outing on the popular TV show Survivor that started my questioning; I watched it as a recording so I'm not sure exactly when I started questioning).

To save anyone who wants to reply some time, just call me lux. (Not my real name and faster/shorter than my full username)

Hopefully, Susan's Place will shed some light for me.

(Get the pun? Lux is light in latin.) (I like puns, though this is a bad one)

[Kendra]

Hi Lux!  Welcome to Susan's, glad you are a member now.

I am MTF and I headed into my path initially without any therapists and wish I had worked with one earlier.  I wish I had joined Susan's earlier... some of the things I figured out here have brought a huge amount of benefit.

I don't know if your therapists have helped address your main question yet.  The main question you are asking is very important and does not have a pure yes/no answer.  You might decide to obtain a referral to a gender therapist. 

We often use the terms MTF and FTM but these are convenient terms to describe different areas of the gender spectrum.  Once I realized this, things started getting easier for me - realizing I didn't have to land exactly in one or the other at a particular point in time.  Some of the greatest people I have met here are permanently aiming to be non-binary or somewhere in the middle.  In my own transition I have accepted the fact I can't switch completely between the two all at once, and until I go full time one of my modes is androgynous.

Some television shows have been known to condense the world into sensational sound bytes to draw more viewers in so the program can charge more for advertising.  Some of the positive gains in our community can be credited to the increasing acceptance of transgender in entertainment and other forms of media, but it barely scratches the surface.  Unfortunately some scenarios portrayed in media have reinforced stereotypes that aren't great or are damaging.

We always provide information and guidelines to new members.  I'll add it here for you.

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out there may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.,kn

I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site.  It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Lux, all the best for you - especially now that you have joined the largest and longest running transgender support site on the planet.  Great to meet!

Kendra

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. When you first start exploring, it's difficult to have all the answers. That takes times to learn and to determine what applies to you. I know at first I had the general idea I wanted to be a girl but it took some time to determined just how committed I was to become one. In addition, you could be part of the non binary where your not fully male or fully female and that can be really confusing. To start, you should look at our WIKI . There will be terms that you can discard quickly and other terms that you may wish to consider. Feel free to ask questions as that's where the journey starts.

[V M]

Hi Lux 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Jailyn]

I am totally with Kendra and the others. You don't have to have all the answers all at once you will learn what you want with your own transition. We all don't do the same things or do certain procedures but, we still categorize ourselves as transgender. There is a wide spectrum within the group as a whole. We aren't in box, we sit outside the box and define our own selves and what we want in our lives. You're in a great place to learn about the whole spectrum and what you would like. So WELCOME!!!!!

[FlightlessFootwear]

Welcome! I'm new here as well and in a similar boat. I know that I'm not quite a cis man but I'm not yet sure where I want to be on the spectrum. It's good to meet other people who are in similar situations.