It's not such an easy question. My first impulse would be to say that GCS will somehow complete me, but with any other transwoman, I consider her complete surgery or not. I am learning to give the same grace to myself. I live as a woman. Therefore, I am one.
I think it is more that it completes a process. Not in the sense that transition will be over--we change then we die. Instead, there will no longer be a step to take for which I am obligated to someone else. In other words, I won't so much become a woman as become my own woman.
It certainly helps that my spouse is supportive. I am excited about the changes, but terribly frightened too. Knowing that I will go to sleep and wake up with her gives me the courage to proceed.
I don't like my genitals. They taunt me whenever I need to relieve or clean my body, and they feel awkwardly dissonant with it. Worse, the shrinkage from HRT has been dramatic. My testicles hurt more and more often, and my penis now nearly gets lots in the hair. It's like they want to fall off, but they just need a little help.
Finally, I'm curious. I know it sounds stupid, but being curious is deeply essential to who I am. I am constantly gathering and absorbing new information and looking for new ways to make sense of it. I want to feel what it is like to be female not only in and but in body.
