Just transition?

[Larisa]

So yesterday I was on the phone talking to someone and at first it was not about being trans but that just sort of came out and was more the main focus of the conversation. He gave me some links and people to call that are therapists although I already have one. His thing was kind of like "oh your trans, well lets talk about transition" type of attitude. Now he wasn't pushy nor was he like rude but it's just not that easy.

I than was talking at work later to one person who knows and she asked about transition. I still said no to it. She was fine with that.

It's just if people know, that often comes up and it seems people act like it's easy to go through when it's not just oh I just do it. The whole thing has so many things to talk about and Ive already made my choice and have my reasons. Yes Ive done a few changes and am doing a few more but Im not gonna do it. Do I want to be that girl I am inside? Yes but like I made my reason told here a week ago, it's something Ive def thought a ton on and if I was say 8 years old and had that chance to do it then, I might do it but that time has passed.

I just want to live like any other girl does and yes one day I hope to. I ofcourse consider myself a girl even though I dont have a female body and I do one day hope to be Larisa completely. That never will change. There are just so many factors that people who ask if you are transitioning do not think about.

[TonyaW]

 Totally unqualified theory on that. 


Most people that are not trans really don't understand what it's like, even if they are accepting and get the basic "born with the wrong body" premise. I use the quotes because we know that's not the whole of it and doesn't even consider gender fluid and other areas on the spectrum.

So getting to my point, they may ask because they don't understand why someone would come out as trans if they are not transitioning or about to start.

Another possiblity is, if they really know you well, they may feel that you are ready to start and they are encouraging you or giving a blessing.

Whatever it is,  it is your transition to start (or not) when you are ready.  But maybe you are closer to ready than you think?

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[JoanneB]

It is all too easy for other's to say "Just Do It"

Heck, I have had people in my TG Support group say it to me. TBH - These same people have no real life or responsibilities, much less a wife/BFF of 30 years, financial obligations and a career you love. For them, they NEEDED to transition. Lucky me, I get to torture myself over Absolutely no, as in not today, and yes.

The only way I see it as being an easy decision to make is when there is no other viable decision left... that allows a Do-Over in this life time

[Anne Blake]

Larisa, you happen to be living in a tough place that very few people in the world understand. We all have gone through similar situations and most of us feel frustrated by them. When I told my brother, within 10 minutes he was telling me how to live my life as a transgender woman but he had no idea at all what that life was about (this was just a humorous true tale to lighten the mood). My take on it all is that most folks that hear of our changes care for us and wish us the best and many of those folks happen to be fixers. They can't help but try to fix things that appear broken. My current strategy, that seems to be working well, is to thank them for their concerns but kindly and clearly tell them that right now I just need a friend to talk to, one that will listen and not fix things. Yes, occasionally they fall back to being the repair person and all it has taken is a simple, "please don't fix me, just listen and love me".

I hope that this might ease your frustration,
Anne