On life's bumpy road

[Sarah_P]

OK, so Thanksgivings went just fine. Both days I had to dress in guy-mode since the kids were there both Wednesday & Thursday. T's family were all there on Wednesday, and it was awkward shaking hands with men who were expecting a hearty firm shake & got a definitely more feminine one (I've never been good at the masculine handshakes anyway, now even less so).

T's husband accidentally outed me to his sister E (he got really mad at her attitude, and it slipped), who was of the opinion that I definitely shouldn't be Sarah around her kids. For some reason they're thinking that their oldest son (9 or so?) is not 'manly' enough, and may be gay, and are trying to keep him away from anything that might 'influence' him. Yes, they are completely ignorant of how this all works, and apparently choose not to learn. Plus.. he's only 9!

E was perfectly polite to me on Thursday, and didn't seem to treat me any differently than she ever had, with the exception that I was far more talkative than I used to be. That is until T came over, and we went up to my room to watch the MST3k Turkey Day marathon, which did nothing to dissuade some people's belief that we're having a torrid affair. We're not btw, but obviously since we're both bi, we MUST be all over each other, right? 

Hopefully I'll be out of here soon & not have to deal with all this family drama.... that's not even my family!!

Oh, and I ate WAAAAY too much. It was all so good... both days! 

[Roll]

Ugh, the guy handshakes. I'm not sure there has ever been something that me feel as awkward as guy handshakes.

Anyhow, glad to hear it went well all things considered! I'm also glad you mentioned MST3k, I still need to watch the new stuff and have been trying to figure out something light to watch, and that's perfect. (I've been in a TV mood last few days and clearing out some series that have been sitting in my to do list for a while.)

[Sarah_P]

Ugh, the guy handshakes. I'm not sure there has ever been something that me feel as awkward as guy handshakes.

Anyhow, glad to hear it went well all things considered! I'm also glad you mentioned MST3k, I still need to watch the new stuff and have been trying to figure out something light to watch, and that's perfect. (I've been in a TV mood last few days and clearing out some series that have been sitting in my to do list for a while.)

Enjoy! It took me a bit to get used to everyone new, but I really think season 11 is some of the best MST3k has ever done. And they announced season 12 is happening!

[Sarah_P]

Was feeling really down last weekend, not sure why. Then just randomly started feeling better a couple days later. Probably just a case of the 48-hour GD Flu. 

Spent last Sunday & yesterday with T and her family. Last Sunday she needed to practice her nail art skills (she's a recently licensed cosmetologist, but she's also in college so hasn't started working yet). Normally she does some pretty impressive work, but her hands were a little shaky due to not eating & the tape she had wouldn't stick to my fingers, so it didn't turn out all that well (thus no pictures).

Yesterday she did my makeup & showed me a few new things. She did say she's going to take me shopping for better brushes next time we're together though. I'm not surprised, I've been thinking I've been needing better ones anyway. She also had a mock interview for a class she had to do a video of, and I helped her with that. Which also helped me, since until then I hadn't thought about preparing for interview questions!

I've applied to dozens of jobs now, but the only thing I've heard from any of them was 3 rejections. Sigh.  I've come to the conclusion I'll probably have to settle for a non-IT job for now, while still working on my code skills. I applied for a few clerical jobs, as well as some mail room jobs (also something I've done in the past).

I'm loving learning at freecodecamp.org (they even give certifications & work with recruiters to find work for their members.), and am heavily leaning into doing front-end web design eventually. Which is technically something I've already done (did my current work's website, my own retail site 13 years ago, and a former employer's retail website 18 years ago).

[Sarah_P]

OK, today really sucks so far. Mood swings all over the place. Started off fine, then became depressed. Then got really angry and I almost screamed at a patron that they were a f-ing idiot for not understanding how to print something after I showed them 3 times already. Then I felt upbeat & happy for about 20 minutes or so. Then I started crying. Now I'm just feeling sad & lonely.

Ugh.... at least I'm off an hour early today because of a stupid parade (it blocks the streets around the building so we couldn't get our cars out if we closed at our normal time).

[Laurie]

  Deep breaths Sarah, slow deep breaths. You will be okay. This will pass and you will go home and relax. Perhaps a soothing hot fragrant bath.

[Sarah_P]

  Deep breaths Sarah, slow deep breaths. You will be okay. This will pass and you will go home and relax. Perhaps a soothing hot fragrant bath.

Oh, if only I could..... I've only got a stand up shower.

My mom came to my rescue. Just before my lunch hour she texted asking if I wanted to go get lunch. Hecks yeah! Felt so much better afterwards. Talking to her was just what I needed (well, the delightful mushroom & swiss burger certainly helped).
When I came home I got all made up (nails & all), and put on a semi fancy outfit with my new skirt. I'm feeling pretty darn good now.

[Laurie]

Oh, if only I could..... I've only got a stand up shower.

My mom came to my rescue. Just before my lunch hour she texted asking if I wanted to go get lunch. Hecks yeah! Felt so much better afterwards. Talking to her was just what I needed (well, the delightful mushroom & swiss burger certainly helped).
When I came home I got all made up (nails & all), and put on a semi fancy outfit with my new skirt. I'm feeling pretty darn good now.

That's just great Sarah.

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

[Sarah_P]

That's just great Sarah.

Thanks Laurie. On a side note, I've been really liking that Kleancolor scented nail polish you had suggested to someone not so long ago.

[Sarah_P]

Had my first hour (of 300+) of electrolysis - just face for now. Not bad! Laser definitely hurt worse. I would have done 2 hours if I had the money. Then again, she did suggest it might be best to leave it at an hour anyway to see how my face reacts later. It was sore for a few hours, but that's gone now.

Still looking for someone to buy my stuff. Had a potential buyer, but he can't come up with that much cash. Might just have to try going back to e-bay.

[Laurie]

 Hi Sarah,

  Congrats on your first electrolysis session and considering it not bad. If you can keep saying that you will be doing much better than I. I also thought it wasn't too bad my first time after another session or two I began thinking otherwise. The first was my estradiol was increased and so was the pain of electrolysis with it. The next was I had her start working on a different location and OMG! it HURT! Christina has been working on my mustache area for the last 5 one hour sessions with more to come. Each area have their different pain levels and under the nose is the worst I have encountered so far. I have her keep working at it because I want it gone and I want the pain of that area over with. Then the rest won't be so painful by comparison. Oh yeah she is doing blended and one notch below max power.
   Good luck with your sessions as you can afford them I know money is really tight for you. Hopefully that will change.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Sarah_P]

Hi Sarah,

  Congrats on your first electrolysis session and considering it not bad. If you can keep saying that you will be doing much better than I. I also thought it wasn't too bad my first time after another session or two I began thinking otherwise. The first was my estradiol was increased and so was the pain of electrolysis with it. The next was I had her start working on a different location and OMG! it HURT! Christina has been working on my mustache area for the last 5 one hour sessions with more to come. Each area have their different pain levels and under the nose is the worst I have encountered so far. I have her keep working at it because I want it gone and I want the pain of that area over with. Then the rest won't be so painful by comparison. Oh yeah she is doing blended and one notch below max power.
   Good luck with your sessions as you can afford them I know money is really tight for you. Hopefully that will change.

Hugs,
  Laurie

She was pretty surprised I wanted to start on the upper lip. She said most wanted to wait on it because of the greater pain, but I want it over & done with asap. Plus, it's the worst as far as remaining dark hair (laser got the majority of it everywhere else).

To quote the immortal words of Dalton, 'Pain don't hurt'.

[Laurie]

  Well Sarah good for you. That's been the only place that cause cause tears for. Just a few of those silent ones that tend to leak out but they did show up one time. I haven't a problem admitting it really stings after the EMLA cream wears off. Glad you found it no so painful.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Sarah_P]

Just had a wonderful all-day shopping trip with my mom!  She made the comment 'I never imagined I'd get to have a fun girls-day-out with you!' 

Went and saw some of the Christmas lights in the Johnson County area, including these two houses across the street from each other owned by IT guys that compete for the most incredible radio light-show. For those who haven't seen these, the lights are all computer-controlled to move & flash in time to music being broadcast on their own radio signal.

Finished up the last of my Christmas shopping, too! Now for the wrapping.

Which brings up a realization that struck me today - I ENJOYED buying gifts for people! See, I've been a pretty selfish jerk up until now. I'd always manage to come up with some excuse to spend that money on something for myself instead. My only worry was whether everyone will like their gifts.  I don't know if it's the E so much as just being happier, and wanting to do something to share that with others, and of course thank them for their support!

[Laurie]

Hi Sarah,

  It sounds like you had one heck of a good day with you mom and what a wonderful thing for her to say. I hope you gave her a squeeze and a kiss after that. And to top it off an attitude change to boot!

  Keep that good attitude up girl,

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Sarah_P]

I gave her several big hugs!    She's the best mom I've ever had! Admittedly the bar was kind of low.... 

[Roll]

I gave her several big hugs!    She's the best mom I've ever had! Admittedly the bar was kind of low.... 

That's so exciting you had that time out! I'm super jealous.

[Sarah_P]

That's so exciting you had that time out! I'm super jealous.

You'll get out there yourself soon enough! In fact, sounds like you & your sister could have a fun day of shopping!

[Sarah_P]

Had my 2nd hour of electro on Tuesday. She did managed to get a lot of my chin done, and I've had a larger redder chin since then (plus a few other small puffy spots).  I'll have to wait until after the new year to go back, since I can't afford another hour until then (hoping I can afford 2 hours).

Tonight I went to the trans group meeting in KC again. It was fun. At one point a bunch of us were showing each other cat pictures.    I think I'm slowly getting over some of my social issues. I enjoy being with people and talking, but I can so rarely come up with topics of conversation. Even when I'm with friends, I sometimes just can't find anything to talk about. Hopefully I can get past that eventually...

[Sarah_P]

Had a great day out with my mom again, despite waking up with a stomach ache (I've eaten waaaay too much the last 4 days).

Then I get home & check my email, and find yet another rejection email for a job I applied for. I'm beginning to think I'll never find a job, and never escape this town. I know one of the reasons I'm not being hired is that I'm terrible at interviews. I'm too honest about myself, and can't really inflate my own worth all that well.

It also really upsets me that a single email can ruin a perfectly good day. I don't know. I'm going to bed.