Afraid to come out and don't know what to do

[Victoria00]

I'm afraid to tell anyone that i'm mtf trans and that i want to start a transition toward female. I'm scared and starting to become sad and anxious. I need some advice on what to do next . I have no clue wherw to go and what to do toward a transition. I'm 17 rn and confused on how i can change this problem. I don't want my parents to find out about this or anything about this

[Julia1996]

Hi Victoria. I'm Julia.  I started hrt and transitioned when I was 17.  There isn't a lot you can do without your parents consent. You can try the local LGBT youth services. They might have a gender counselor you could talk to. Do you like know for a fact your parents wouldn't be accepting? With their help you could at least start taking testosterone blockers. That would stop any further masculinizing effects from testosterone. The younger you start hrt or at least blockers the better the results are. Unless you are totally sure your parents wouldn't accept you it might be good if you told them. Sometimes parents can surprise you. I was really scared to come out to my family. I was totally sure my dad wouldn't be accepting. He was a marine and now he's a cop and he's a very masculine guy. Actually he outed me. He just asked me if I wanted to be a girl. I didn't know what to say. I was about to totally freak out. Then he said it was ok if I did but I needed to do it now and get it out of the way. He's totally accepting. He found my gender therapist and then found the Dr who does my hrt. He also found and payed for the lawyer who did my name change. I was also really worried my older brother wouldn't be accepting. He's a gym rat jock type who's very masculine. We always have been close but I was afraid he wouldn't accept me and that he might end up hating me. But he's also been totally accepting and he does anything he can to help me with this. He even does my estrogen shots for me. So you can't be totally sure your family won't be accepting even if you think they won't.  My dad and brother are the last people I thought would accept me being trans. If you don't want to tell your parents yet at least try to find a counselor you can discuss all this with. I went to the LGBT youth services and they recommended a counselor I could talk to. She didn't charge me either. So try to do that. Talking about all this with someone who understands it does help a lot.
I hope this is helpful.
Hugs
Julia.

[Rachel_Christina]

Hey girl, what Julia said, you are really going to need your parents.
Try gauge them.
Who ever you are closest to, you are going to have to try talking to atleast the one you trust most.
I mean honestly if you can trust the parents who can you trust?
You are young though, you have the winning hand already.
Parents can be weird but eventually they do come around.
And if you where in anyway feminine as a child, even if you think you hid it well, chances are they may have always had the idea in the back of their heads.
Anyway unless you are certain they are gonna be totally useless, give em a chance.
Goodluck, and hugs, Rachel

[Victoria00]

Hey Julia yeah I'll start by doing what u said to do but again my parents are pretty hard sometimes and I just really don't think they understand but I'll start by telling other people close to me BBC my parents are something that idk when I will but thanks for the help I'll start talking to someone right away

[JoanneB]

A great youth oriented LGBT group is PFLAG with lots of local chapters. Many have a good trans outreach

[azarath99]

Hey, you are totally not alone. I am 17 right now, almost 18, and I'm totally freaking out about transitioning (mtf). Like dam I wanna hurry up and be a cute feminine girl, but I am just very anxious about how my relationships with everybody will change. I'd like to transition without ever coming out. but I dread the questions I'll get when my parents notice breast growth. I dread the questions of my parents and friends asking me what name and pronouns to call me. I literally don't care. call me butch McMaleman for all I care. I just want to change my self while keeping everything else the same.