Why aren't I a bikini model yet?
It took me a couple of days for my system to balance out with the medication, but after than I feel great. The changes have been mostly mental, though I have started loosing weight without trying, and if science funding dries up I can always open my own glass cutting practice IYKWIM.
The mental effects have been very interesting, I don't feel especially girly, I don't cry at movies, though music does make me want to dance a lot more. The best way to describe things is that mentally the "floor" feels rock solid now, where before it would feel like the floor could fall out at any moment. It's hard to describe exactly what those feelings are, does anyone else relate? I've also found that I'm far more comfortable in silence than I was before, I can just sit there in a quiet room, and don't need to fill it with something like music or a video. Has anyone else noticed this?
What's interesting about the whole thing is that I can feel when the E and progesterone are starting to wear off. I just start to feel very sad deep down about everything, it's amazing to think that this is how I used to live. I've been moving my dose earlier and earlier in the day so that it will eventually be something I do first thing in the morning. They start wearing off at roughly the 21 hour mark so hopefully this will happen while I'm asleep.
Finally my thoughts about life in general have shifted. Before it was like "if I can't do X, Y and Z in my life then there's no point in going on." Now I just feel that if it doesn't work out I'll find something else. Part of me is mad I didn't do this a long time ago, another part of me knows that I dealt with it when I was ready for it.
Any words of wisdom?
