overthinking and worring about mylife

[mil]

hey guys its been so hard for me to think about my life as I told you a lot in my older posts. idk I need something to keep me going sometimes I think like ->-bleeped-<- iis wrong for me and I have to stay as aboy like everything is a mess in my brain I need your advice

[Sarah77]

Are you seeing a therapist? The short answer is, almost noone avoids constant doubt

[Kendra]

Hello mil,

I understand based on other posts you are in a country where there are no gender therapists, and seeking transgender support locally is a safety risk. 

I wish there was more I could do to help you more directly but I have suggested - if I was your age in your situation I would be doing everything possible to study and gain the best possible education to qualify for an international college.  If you can accomplish that you will be able to open up many additional opportunities for yourself.  I know the time between today and potentially entering college may seem to be a long way in the future, but one of the best decisions I made was studying to get into college when I had the opportunity.  Once you have a good education it is yours forever - nobody can ever take that away from you.

Your country has a wonderful history but has had some very unfortunate recent events.  I hope there are ways you can access academic materials and information where you are, study hard and qualify for a college or university in a country that is friendly to transgender individuals.

All the best,

Kendra

[elkie-t]

Hi Mil, if you cannot change your circumstances immediately, make a good plan (or at least outline some direction what and how you can achieve that) and start working on your plan, and hopefully the knowledge that you making steps towards your goal would distract your day to day suffering.

If I were in your shoes my goals would be:
1) graduate with the best grades achievable
2) get into the college
3) move to the biggest city in your country
4) get a job
5) gain financial independence from your family
6) emigrate into Canada, Europe or USA (in that order) - as a student, postgraduate student, refugee  or illegally (as last resort)

Somewhere along those lines, not necessarily in that order.

Life is long, if you work every day, in 5-10 years you'll be independent and free to pursue your dreams.

Don't ever get married...


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[Charlie Nicki]

Welcome to the club. Confusion is part of the everyday life of a trans person who is just starting. I am on the same boat. Talking to a therapist helps.

[elkie-t]

Welcome to the club. Confusion is part of the everyday life of a trans person who is just starting. I am on the same boat. Talking to a therapist helps.

Yeah, as long as that therapist does not prescribe 'curing' therapy, reports you to the government or family, etc. The girl happens to live in Iraq or is it Saudi Arabia (she would be much better in Iran but it's a mute point)...

[Charlie Nicki]

Yeah, as long as that therapist does not prescribe 'curing' therapy, reports you to the government or family, etc. The girl happens to live in Iraq or is it Saudi Arabia (she would be much better in Iran but it's a mute point)...

Yeah a bad therapist can make things even worse.


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[mil]

guys it is so hard for me idk where to star where should I start planning what should my first goal be idk where to start

[elkie-t]

No body will do it for you, sorry, honey.


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[KathyLauren]

guys it is so hard for me idk where to star where should I start planning what should my first goal be idk where to start

Mil, given that you are in a country where it is not safe to be trans, the best advice I can give you is to plan a way to get out to a safer place.

[mil]

same im thinking the same way you think but where to start? if i ever get depoted i will see my grave here then theyll kill me

[amandam]

Concentrate on school so you have very good grades, ask your parents about what it would take to go to your uncle's house in San Francisco if you wanted to try college in America. Also, check into European colleges, find out what it takes to become accepted to one. If you don't know who to ask, ask your local teachers, educated people like your doctor. If they don't know anything about the process, ask them if they know who you can ask. Keep going until you get answers. Never stop. Then when you have the information, make a plan.

You must persist and be tenacious. Never give up.

[JoanneB]

If you think your are Trans, You likely are
If you think "Transitioning" isn't right for you, today... You are wiser then your years

I har 2 utter fai transition experiments in my late teens and early 20's. I was TOTALLY unprepared, oh yes a TON of other psych reasons too.

My advice,,, Please, Do Not Bury the feelings any which way you can imagine. Examine them. Feel them, Taste them. Why are they scary?

I found that trying every which way I can to Shut Them DOWN, was..... not a great idea in the long run

[MaxForever]

same im thinking the same way you think but where to start? if i ever get depoted i will see my grave here then theyll kill me

That is so sad I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get somewhere safe. No one deserves to feel fear