I think I have finally discovered who I am

[my2faces]

I am 37yr old male, led a very difficult life. Always felt as the outcast, and never really could identify or fit in with the normal gender groups. With the help of the internet and a bit of research I believe I am an androgyne, but maybe not a typical one.

This past May I had my vision checked for the first time and discovered that I had a very high astigmatism in my right eye (axis 106) and on my left eye axis of 24. I had always noticed in pictures of me that my face was not very symetrical, particularly my eyes. My left eye is lower down than my right, and my right eye is further back in the socket. So I was fiddling one day with my drivers license picture, and for the heck of it put my index finger over 1/2 of my face, than the other half. What I saw astonished me. I saw what looks to be 2 distinct and very different faces. I have been at a loss for words since then. I know my mother had very problematic menstrual cycles, and my only other sibling was a mentally retarded female. Has anyone ever heard of someone born with two distinct facial halves? I know it sounds crazy, and had it not been for the astigmatism I probably would have not believed it. The astigmatism kinda confirmed what I saw. The cheek bone on my right half is also higher up. The right half of my face is much softer and prettier looking than my left. I call the right my female side. I also have a cleft in my skull, on my forhead, that runs up and down just about center. Can anyone shed some light on this for me, maybe offer some guidence as to where I can seek help?

[RebeccaFog]

Hi My2faces,

   I don't have any answers for you, but maybe a suggestion.  Is it possible to ask your mother for more details about your birth?  This is a long shot, but maybe you can ask if you may have been born intersexed.  They used to operate on babies so, unless the parents fess up, or an examination turns up something, some people never know.
   This is not to say that you are intersexed, but that considering what you've written, it might be a good place to start checking.

   Ask your mother, or get some medical tests.  i don't know the name of the tests, though.


Rebis

[buttercup]

Hi my2faces and welcome,

I agree with Rebis, the best place to start is with your birth mother and maybe your medical records if you can get hold of them.  There could be many reasons and it does have me stumped atm.  Maybe you should find out if you had a forceps delivery as well, I mean if there were any complications associated with this delivery?
There are tests that you can take, but yes, I think start with your Mum is the best advice.


buttercup   

[barbie]

Can anyone shed some light on this for me, maybe offer some guidence as to where I can seek help?

I am not an expert on this area, but I think that the causes and mechanisms on psychological and physical androgynous status have not yet been researched extensively. Most transgender-related reseaches have focused on psychological aspects, not the physical ones you are eager to know. IMHO, gender identification is soley based on our mind, not our body.

In my case, I am androgynous in both mind and body.

And, our faces are not exactly symmetrical, but I think your case is unusual, requiring some studies.

Barbie

[my2faces]

I appreciate the responses. my mother is no longer living, my father is however. I do know the hospital I was born in as well. I don't think I was intersexed. I mean I have normal male genitals and nothing about them looks out of the ordinary. I have always felt that I have been in touch with both my male and female sides. I have physical attraction to both males and females, but my sexual attraction is to males. I do not feel as though I am gay. I am happy as a male. It's all been very confusing..all my life. but now I am starting to put the pieces together.

what type of doctor would you all suggest I start with?

[evelynaGR]

I'm not a specialist, but I think most of the people don't have symmetrical head (faces). I am one of them, not so obviously of course (one very strong sign? my hair growth very different on both sides of my head) but there is a difference from my right to the left in the scull too, very slightly.

An expert can give you answers to this issue, that for sure. But I think for that situation there is not a connection with any gender disorder.

P.S. Do you see @ my photo my female side? 

[Attis]

Yes, but extreme asymmetry tends to be a symptom of something else. *shrugs* That's all I know about it.

[my2faces]

Have there ever been any reported human occurances of twins that share a single body? not conjoined/identical twins.

btw, one thing I have noticed during my lifetime with any male friends, which I have had very few of. One moment they could be treating me  like one of the guys, the next moment treating me as if I am female.  I have heard guys say things like "is that a guy or a girl?"

I enjoy cooking, cleaning, bbq'ing, yard work, home remodeling..everything that we tend to associate with both masculine and feminine.

BTW, I will be happy to scan my license and send it to the moderators here. This is an issue about my gender identification.

and, last but not least. I am not schizophrenic

[Attis]

To answer that from an informed, but non-expert position, is that yes, there are cases of 'phantom' twins, where one zygote is mostly absorbed by the other, leaving usually an extra limb or nothing at all. As for your mixture of traits, I doubt one could pin it down to that sort of biological state (primarily because we all have free will and what not), but I think trying to find a biological explanation for your identity and traits is problematic, because what if there is no biological cause? Does that mean it's less of a choice, or an immoral choice? Of course the answer is no in both cases, but I think you should keep that in mind in seeking to understand your own situation, and recognize that no amount of biology can justify anything, and any amount of rational objectivity can prove that you merely existing as you are with no harm to others is a just existence no matter what others assume.

-- Brede

[my2faces]

thanks brede. from a physical standpoint, I think it would be easy to prove.

I have x-rays of my pelvis region and my hips from when I had hip surgery earlier this year. there are very obvious differences in my bone structure on the left and right side.

[Mia and Marq]

Actually one possibility would be you could be a Chimera. We're not sure about what the specific medical  term is, but its not been diagnosed more then 30ish times ever. The situation where one twin is reabsorbed into the other, based on what stage of development when it happened, could create a situation where you have a mixture of traits between the two twins.

It can be scientifically proven to be the case though would no doubt be expensive. In the case of this Chimera situation, you would have two sets of unique DNA that could be detected. If you were inclined to find this out, a DNA test from multiple places on your body could determine this is the case. This situation is probably more common then the few cases documented would imply but doesn't really cause problems usually, and so isn't usually tested for. Standard blood tests might only pick up one of the DNA strands if one twin is more dominant. These circumstances have given people female repoductive organs on one side of their body and male reproductive organs on the other side, and so having two seperate faces would probably fall under possible pretty easy.

Do a search on Chimera and humans to find more about it.

As it stands though, we're looking at this situation of a single body but two different individuals within as a possible explaination of why people experience being bigendered. Not a lot of research has been done on the topic though so its just something to consider.

M&M

[my2faces]

Thank you very much M&M. I think you may be onto something. What type of specialist would I go to?  a genetic specialist?

I can't decide if I am a very unique human, or a freak of nature. I must say one thing, I have led the most healthiest life imagineable. And even without many friends, I never feel lonely.

Posted on: November 19, 2007, 09:39:38 AMI would just like to briefly touch on the reason I have started the search for what I truely am. All my life I have had issues with keeping a job, as well as friends. Men and women I work with or associate with eventually become very hostile towards me. I am quite attractive, so I have been told. I have witnessed on many occasions, heterosexual males become aroused when they have looked at me. Then the next moment pretend as though I do not exist. Since I am a firm believer in the notion that we are ultimately seeing creatures, everything we percieve about the sexes is thru our eyes, sexual attraction as well. If I am indeed half male and half female, thus possessing a female-type eye, and a male-type eye, this might explain why such occurances are happening to me. Does anyone follow me on this? I truely need to find some answers.

[Kate]

I had always noticed in pictures of me that my face was not very symetrical, particularly my eyes. My left eye is lower down than my right, and my right eye is further back in the socket. So I was fiddling one day with my drivers license picture, and for the heck of it put my index finger over 1/2 of my face, than the other half.

Not to discount your situation, but it was my understanding that nearly *everyone* is like this. There's even some special mirror you can get which shows you how OTHER people see you - as it reverses the image horozontally compared to other mirrors - and it freaks people out because they look TOTALLY different to themselves suddenly, since very few faces are symmetrical.

The right side of my own face is much more masculine-looking. I've lost more hair on the right side, the cheek is less full, the jawline more square. My eyes are of different prescriptions. My right foot is slightly bigger. My facial hair was more dense on the right side. My right side in general is more muscular and bulky. Etc.

~Kate~

[my2faces]

so kate, you see two different people when you look at your pic?

also, can you explain why my pelvic cavity is male shaped on the left, female shaped on the right? males and females have distinct pelvic cavities. my femurs have different bone density on the left and right. it shows up as clear as day on an x-ray.

where can I find this mirror you speak of?

[buttercup]

wow, my2faces, you certainly are unique, there is no denying that.  It is hard to know where to go to have tests to discover why you have two distinct sides, and it could be costly.  But I suppose it is your inner self that defines who you really are, not the outside.
I do follow you with the whole reaction you are receiving from others and you are trying to find answers.  Why do you think people eventually become hostile towards you after they get to know you?  That one has me stumped, they sound like a**holes anyway.  I hope someone somewhere can give you the answers you're after, I wish I could.  I am glad that you never feel alone, as loneliness is a real crippler, of which I suffer.  I have people I care about around me, but I still feel alone.
Do you think you might identify as an androgyny?  I suppose I'm asking more questions than helping you, but you sound like a very interesting person. 

buttercup   

[Kate]

also, can you explain why my pelvic cavity is male shaped on the left, female shaped on the right?

Not a clue. Did the doctor who looked at the X-rays have any suggestions?

~Kate~

[my2faces]

the doctor never said anything. I was in for a hip pinning. this was the first time I had ever had surgery.

[barbie]

the doctor never said anything. I was in for a hip pinning. this was the first time I had ever had surgery.

Everybody is unique and I think you are not an exception. I always try to enjoy and advantage from my uniqueness, although it sometimes could be difficult. It seems that you have lived as an ordinary and healthy person.

Barbie~~

[Kaeren]

The only thing we are not unique in is in being unique.

[Doc]

Oh, the pelvic shape of males vs females is not so distinct that there aren't quite a few pelvises, and even whole skeletons, that cannot be sexed beyond a guess.

Everybody's face is asymmetrical, some more than others. It's good fun to take digital pictures of faces and use a photo-editor to slice them in half and then mirror the halves. If your face isn't very asymetrical, it'll look like two distorted yous, but for most people it looks like two different people, and naturally one will look more female or male than the other.

Probably you're perfectly normal, on a more extreme end of human variation when it comes to the bilateral symetry thing. If you feel androgyne or bigendered, enjoy, but why bother spending money on genetic tests about it?