Where are the girls who used to identify and live as gay men?

[Charlie Nicki]

Hi girls,

I see so many stories of trans women who were married with cis women and have kids etc. It almost seems like the ones who used to identify as gay men (like me) are a minority. Just wanted to get to know you girls, where are you? Care to tell your stories?


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[warlockmaker]

Just some encouraging words. A friend use to be gay and had her srs at the same time as me. So 19 months later she is engaged to be married to a cis male. They are in love and what a beautiful couple. Its actually easier for you, as those who are not gay have never been with men snd its quite daunting.

[Charlie Nicki]

Just some encouraging words. A friend use to be gay and had her srs at the same time as me. So 19 months later she is engaged to be married to a cis male. They are in love and what a beautiful couple. Its actually easier for you, as those who are not gay have never been with men snd its quite daunting.

Hi Warlockmaker. I guess the grass is indeed always greener on the other side lol, I've always felt like transwomen who are attracted to other women have it easier in the love department.


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[warlockmaker]

Haha, But itwas really awkard and difficult for me to have a man sexually excited sexually with me.

[Charlie Nicki]

So there are no women here who identified as gay men?


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[Jessica]

Hi girls,

I see so many stories of trans women who were married with cis women and have kids etc. It almost seems like the ones who used to identify as gay men (like me) are a minority. Just wanted to get to know you girls, where are you? Care to tell your stories?


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Hi Dani 🙋🏼 I've been bi-sexual since puberty and always thought my feminine feelings were just part of all that.  Like many I got married and raised a family while still having occasional gay encounters.  My wife has gone through menopause and isn't interested so much in sex.  My sexual encounters have increased and have realized that while having sex with men I visualize that I have a vagina which is an orgasmic trigger.  I feel I am a woman so I'm doing something about it.
Hugs, Jessica 💁

[kelly_aus]

I identified as a gay man.. I'm not sure to this day what part was the bigger lie.

[Charlie Nicki]

I just found this thread that I created a long time ago. Would love to meet the girls who identified as gay men.

[lavish staircase]

I've never defined myself as such, but I can't deny liking them!  What are we talking on the Kinsey scale? 

[krobinson103]

Hi girls,

I see so many stories of trans women who were married with cis women and have kids etc. It almost seems like the ones who used to identify as gay men (like me) are a minority. Just wanted to get to know you girls, where are you? Care to tell your stories?


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That was me. I lived as gay from 18-23, then went to South Korea for 12 years and came back married with kids. In reality I was always bi and used being gay as a redirection from dysphoria.

[Allison S]

I was gay because I liked men. I'd only ever be able to keep their attention for short term physical intimacy. I wished I was bisexual all the time but the thought of being with a woman caused me the most dysphoria..

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[Angelic]

Being a trans lesbian is harder than being a GtF(gay man to female.)

Firstly, most lesbians will "support" you verbally, but in no way ever want to have actual sex with you, unless you pass as a hot female.

Then, you will be told, in order to get a relationship, that women want a "masculine man". So you will force that role on yourself, only to be rejected by countless women and told you aren't masculine enough. Not to mention, the whole time, you feel scared s---less, and instead of being compassionate about your fear, they tell you you need to be more confident. And then, when you finally find a way to act more masculine, feminism will shame you and tell you it is wrong to be masculine. What a s---show.

[Jessica]

I was very confused about my sexuality through the years.  I was attracted to men and women, in effect questioning if maybe I was bi-sexual.  Last year is when it became clear to me that my lust for men was not a gay experience, but that I was a heterosexual woman with societal normative desires.  My desire for women was possibly testosterone driven and isn't as strong as it was.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Allison S]

Being a trans lesbian is harder than being a GtF(gay man to female.)

Firstly, most lesbians will "support" you verbally, but in no way ever want to have actual sex with you, unless you pass as a hot female.

Then, you will be told, in order to get a relationship, that women want a "masculine man". So you will force that role on yourself, only to be rejected by countless women and told you aren't masculine enough. Not to mention, the whole time, you feel scared s---less, and instead of being compassionate about your fear, they tell you you need to be more confident. And then, when you finally find a way to act more masculine, feminism will shame you and tell you it is wrong to be masculine. What a s---show.

Welcome to the real world lol.. Being a gay male was pretty much open mic night in the straight world (as in you're looked at as being funny, peculiar or quirky, I think at least) or you're "not good enough" in the gay male world where abs and muscles reign supreme...

I honestly didn't care and still don't because I like living in my own world. Either way I still stand out like a sore thumb. I just like my body better now and however the public takes me is none of my business.

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[Michelle_P]

Being a trans lesbian is harder than being a GtF(gay man to female.)

Firstly, most lesbians will "support" you verbally, but in no way ever want to have actual sex with you, unless you pass as a hot female.

Then, you will be told, in order to get a relationship, that women want a "masculine man"....

This is the point where I gave up on the whole stupid thing.  "Woke" lesbians with incredibly shallow concepts of gender, identity, and role...  Good grief!

I was pretty much ready to give up on it all and remain celebate for the rest of my life.  I did have some interesting realizations for myself though...

* I am attracted to femme presentations. When I am attracted to someone I do not know what they might have in their briefs.  It is the presentation, personality, and behavior towards me that matters.

* I am demisexual.  Sexual attraction is not possible for me until a romantic relationship is established.

* The only people who can truely understand our life experience and nature are others who have transcended gender, who have faced their inner selves, and have self-knowledge of their identity far beyond what cisgender people will ever have.

I am comfortable being in a relationship with another woman who happens to be transgender.  This is something that much of the local SF Bay Area lesbian community cannot even accept as being a lesbian relationship!  That is, of course, their problem and not mine. 

I don't give a damn about how someone without the deep knowledge gained from transcending gender views my relationship with another.   

[MissyMay2.0]

Welcome to the real world lol.. Being a gay male was pretty much open mic night in the straight world (as in you're looked at as being funny, peculiar or quirky, I think at least) or you're "not good enough" in the gay male world where abs and muscles reign supreme...

I honestly didn't care and still don't because I like living in my own world. Either way I still stand out like a sore thumb. I just like my body better now and however the public takes me is none of my business.

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Isn't the "open mic night" description perpetuating a stereotype of gay men; sure there are gay men who are flamboyant acting, however, there are also gay men who blend in with average straight men, with the only difference being that they happen to be gay.

[CuriousCat94x]

I've always been attracted to females mostly, but too often I find myself thinking about being with a guy. I think I was just always afraid of angering my family, but thinking deep inside me I believe that I am actually bi-sexual.

I heard that HRT can actually change your sexual orientation, how much of it is a myth? I feel like it will be true in my case, but I will not know until it happens.

Even now before starting HRT, the thought of me beginning hormones, somehow I'm starting to notice guys more. Idk this is very strange, I'm hoping that I'll stay bi, that way it will increase my chance of finding that special someone! [emoji846]


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[Charlie Nicki]

Being a trans lesbian is harder than being a GtF(gay man to female.)

Firstly, most lesbians will "support" you verbally, but in no way ever want to have actual sex with you, unless you pass as a hot female.

Then, you will be told, in order to get a relationship, that women want a "masculine man". So you will force that role on yourself, only to be rejected by countless women and told you aren't masculine enough. Not to mention, the whole time, you feel scared s---less, and instead of being compassionate about your fear, they tell you you need to be more confident. And then, when you finally find a way to act more masculine, feminism will shame you and tell you it is wrong to be masculine. What a s---show.

Really? I'm under the impression that being a transwoman attracted to other women is easier just because women are not as worried about the physical side as men are, also not as worried about what society says or if being with a transwoman makes them less of a woman or less of a lesbian.

[MissyMay2.0]

Really? I'm under the impression that being a transwoman attracted to other women is easier just because women are not as worried about the physical side as men are, also not as worried about what society says or if being with a transwoman makes them less of a woman or less of a lesbian.

I think it depends on the woman, but looks do play a major part into choosing a partner, and I think, in order for a trans lesbian to find a partner, she will in most cases have to be on the same level of beauty as the women she is attracted to; and then she has to able to find another woman receptive to dating a trans woman.  The dynamic is different if a trans woman is married before transition, and their spouse decides to remain in the relationship after transitioning. And women care what others think as much as men do (if not more), so I don't think the "less of a woman or less of a lesbian" reasoning really holds water. 

[Allison S]

Isn't the "open mic night" description perpetuating a stereotype of gay men; sure there are gay men who are flamboyant acting, however, there are also gay men who blend in with average straight men, with the only difference being that they happen to be gay.

Yeah that's very true I guess my view is very skewed being that I'm trans... I know in my experience being viewed as male day in and day out became toxic. I guess a gay man would actually enjoy being a man...who has sex with men.
I guess it easier to hide being gay, since it really isn't anyone else's business..

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