WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL SPECIAL/SECURE DURING ALL YOUR GENDER STRUGGLES?

[Vanny]

I WAS THINKING THE OTHER DAY, HOW HAPPY I WAS MOVING FORWARD.  I AM EXCITED, GOAL ORIENTED AND HAVE A POSITIVE MINDSET TO REACH ALL MY GOALS/OBJECTIVES.   

THE ONE PART OF ALL THE MY EFFORTS, COUNSELING, THERAPY, LIFE THAT GIVES ME COMFORT IS MY FORM.  BREASTS TO BE EXACT.  I SHOULD HAVE HAD THEM SINCE PUBERTY & HAVE FELT A HUGE VOID WITHOUT THEM.  AFTER 4 YEARS OF WORK, NO HORMONES, HEALTHY DIET AND GOD KNOWS HOW MANY HOURS, I HAVE WHAT I SHOULD HAVE HAD ALL ALONG. 

WHAT VALIDATES/GIVES YOU PEACE DURING ALL THE STRUGGLES?


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[Nina]

My super supportive hubby, who encourages me.

[JoanneB]

I don't think I can fairly call it the "One" thing since it is composed of a constellation of live experiences that eventually led to me "Taking on the Trans-Beast, For Real"

I spent decades learning what doesn't work, never being at peace with myself. Today I am at peace in more ways I could have imagined 8 years ago.

[Tommie_9]

Well, I know this is kinda shallow, but being called ma'am when I'm out I guess makes me feel "special." I have an accepting spouse, but I honestly can't think of anything that makes me feel secure. My spirituality sustains me, but I can't say it makes me feel secure. Maybe I can work on this with my GT.

[Dena]

Nothing. It was a matter of many skirmishes attempting to stay ahead of constant depression. It was only the decision to remain alive until I tried everything I could that kept me going and the battle didn't end when I had surgery. I had two additional job losses and over two and a half years of unemployment to deal with before I had a real life. Yes, after surgery I was no longer dealing with dysphoria and for the most part the depression was gone but life was in turmoil for about 4 years after surgery.

[KathyLauren]

Going into a store or a restaurant with my wife and being greeted with "Hi, ladies!" or any similar validation.

A specific example, just for fun...

My very first time in town as myself after going full-time, I went into a jeweller's shop to pick up a pendant that I had dropped off for some work.  I had brought it in as my old male self.  Now I was picking it up as me.  I gave her the claim check and she went in the back and got it.  Then she came out and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, <dead name> has to come in and sign for it himself."  I was happy to accept the moment of awkwardness that resulted in exchange for the validation of my first ever pass!

[Julia1996]

For me it's my dad and boyfriend.

[Laurie]

 I don't know that I do feel special or secure. I've lived so long feeling just the opposite. Undeserving and insecure is the norm for me. In spite of my best efforts to ensure security it still feels like it eludes me. My world keeps falling apart around me. I should feel grateful for all I have but it's not what I want.

[Bari Jo]

For me it's the validation from friends and neighbors that see I'm changing, but think it's just diet alone.  Yes, I've lost a lot of weight, but that's not all that's happening:)  it makes me smile everytime somebody says I look great, commenting on the weight loss.

[AnonyMs]

Can't say I feel special, but the things that make me feel secure all relate in one way or another to money. With money I can control my own destiny, without it I'm more dependent on others and that makes me feel less secure.

[Charlie Nicki]

I'm in constant struggle with my own mind, my current self telling me to forget about this and reminding me of all the possible negative consequences that transitioning can bring. And then I read some of your stories and I feel better, I see glimpses of hope and I feel like I can do this. So I would say this forum, my therapist and some of my friends give me strength.

[Anne Blake]

Affirmation and acceptance; from my God, my family, my new church and my extended family including my local lgbtq community and those at Susan's and local cis community.

[Sarah.VanDistel]

It's silly, but when things are getting a little rough along the path, when too much things seem to go wrong, I just sit in front of a mirror and look deep into my eyes, looking for this elusive soul, looking for my real self. That soul never lies... and when I see it, in all its glorious sincerity, I feel much better because I see a woman called Sarah who just begs to be, to come into existence, to be happy. The doubts go away... The smile comes back... And I'm ready for another take. [emoji4]

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[Niki Knight]

I would say its everyone in my life, family, friends, distributors and employees. With all the support it has made it very easy to transition. I am very appreciative and fortunate to have the group of caring people around me that I do. Luv you all!!!!

[pretty pauline]

My husband

[Sarah_P]

My dear friends & step-mother (Not all of them are wicked! though, I do jokingly call her that now & then... ). They were all instantly supportive & accepting, and I simply could not do this without their love & support.

[steph2.0]

If I had to pick just one, it would be my wife. But I also have a few very special friends who are completely accepting, supportive, and even encouraging. And I can't forget this site, especially a few wonderful friends I've made here.

Stephanie

[OU812]

[AnonyMs]

I find it interesting that everyone apart from myself finds security through their interactions with others, while I get it from myself (via money). I'm not sure what to make of that.

[Julia1996]

Because it's human nature to want comfort from other humans. Money is nice but it won't make someone really love you.