Killing libido and sexual desire

[Lady Lisandra]

Desire has been bothering me a lot this year, to the point that it's become unhealthy for me and my partner. First I thought I could put up with our situation until it changed. I probably can, but it's taking a toll on me now. I'm not talking about sex. I could live withouth it. What's killing me is the internal things that it produces, desiring and not feeling desired. I don't know if you understand...

The point is, I'm looking for a way to completely eliminate sexual desire from my body and mind. I want to become asexual. Any erotic thought that crosses my mind ends up with me feeling horrible, so I'd rather live withouth them. I don't care about the "you have a lot to live and experiment" part. I'd gladly sacrifice that, at least momentarily, to be able to live peacefully.

HRT has helped me a lot, but it's not enough. I've considered asking a psychiatrist for some pills... Psychiatric pills are monsters, but I'll take them if it's the only way. Still, I'd like to try an alternative, more natural and less destructive option. Any ideas or experiences?

[Bari Jo]

I've questioning this from the opposite side.  I have absolutely zero interest in sex, and haven't been functional in months.  I do miss orgasms, but don't feel the desire to even go through anything to achieve them. I think both our cases might be related to our t levels.  Yours could be reduced and mine could be increased.  I'm getting new bloodwork done tomorrow and will see what the results are, then I'm going to ask my doctor.  Maybe talk to yours too?

Bari Jo

[Lady Lisandra]

I have talked, the problem is I switched to a new endocrinologist recently. I have to make new blood tests and give her the old ones before she can give an opinion. It will take about a month. I see my new therapist in about three weeks.

[Bari Jo]

I'd say hang in there, but you are already.  That's good to know about what may be needed when going to a new doctor.  Other non drug related things that can help, at least they did for me when I wasn't on hrt is tucking and then wearing very tight panties.  Also I learned how to retract the testes back in the body.  Theses two things probably made me go sterile early but I was fine with it.

Hugs and sympathy.

[Lady Lisandra]

I probably am sterile by now. I haven't done a test, but nothing comes out. Not a single drop. Most trans girls lose desire and have problems with having relations. That doesn't happen to me, but I wish it would. It's kinda ironic.

[kelly_aus]

I'm not really sure how to respond to this...

There are psych meds that could possibly kill your libido, but this is a side effect and not an ethical reason to prescribe them.. Loss of libido is also not a given. There's also the issues that can be caused by their primary actions if you don't actually have an appropriate mental illness.

[Lady Lisandra]

There is no ethical reason to prescribe them... I'd hate to start taking pills after 3 years of coping with depression withouth psychiatric medication, but at this point I'm considering it. I'm currently supporting T blockers with two cups of spearmint tea a day. Maybe that's enough....

[kelly_aus]

There is no ethical reason to prescribe them... I'd hate to start taking pills after 3 years of coping with depression withouth psychiatric medication, but at this point I'm considering it. I'm currently supporting T blockers with two cups of spearmint tea a day. Maybe that's enough....

Did you miss where I said "if you don't actually have an appropriate mental illness."?

Prescribing those drugs simply to kill libido would be unethical.

[Lady Lisandra]

No, I didn't. Those pills have horrible primary and side effects, and mental illness or not, it's use shouldn't be ethical. Still, nowadays they are prescribed like candy. At least where I live.

And there is the fact that I do have a "mental illness". Had I been completely sincere to my therapist two years ago, she would have given me pills. But I hid so many things...I never told her about my suicidal thoughts and acts. The farthest I've been was loading the shotgun. But my therapist never knew about all that.