Well I feel totally ugly and inadequate now.

[Julia1996]

Hi everyone. My boyfriend once mentioned where his Ex worked and I have been debating if I should go in there and check her out or not. I finally did and now I wish I hadn't. She's totally everything I'm not! She's beautiful, almost 6 feet tall, long legs and a beautiful tan. She had no idea who I was of course. She seemed friendly but I was a customer do I don't know if it was genuine. She told me my white skin was beautiful and the leggings I bought would look good with my skin color.  I don't know if she meant it as a compliment or a underhanded insult. I've decided I totally hate her! I feel totally inadequate compared to her.

[AnonyMs]

That's a really negative way of looking at it. Looking at it positively you're everything she's not, and you have the boyfriend to prove it.

[Bari Jo]

That's a really negative way of looking at it. Looking at it positively you're everything she's not, and you have the boyfriend to prove it.

I was thinking the same thing.  There are reasons that he's with you.  I wouldn't give it a second thought.  Besides you are beautiful anyway.

Bari Jo

[Megan.]

And yet your boyfriend is with you not her. Sounds like he's a wise guy who can see you're a beautiful woman,  and knows a wonderful person is worth hanging on to. Don't sell yourself short! X

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[amandam]

omg u r such a girl!

You r beautiful. I'd kill to look like u!

[RobynD]

My boyfriends ex wife is gorgeous too, so i can totally understand that feeling. However, as he said ....she is not me, and all that i am. There is always that reason or many reasons they are an ex.

[Tammy Jade]

Aww Julia..

Firstly as others have said, Tristan is with you not her so clearly in his opinion she was inadequate for whatever reason otherwise they would still be together.

You are beautiful and going off of your posts of the last few months you sound like a amazing girl!

Stop doubting yourself, every girl is beautiful in different ways, you don't have to be 6ft long legs and tanned for guys to find you attractive, there are many reasons a man might find a woman attractive. 6ft long legs wasn't what I generally looked for in a Woman back in the day.

Be confident in your own beauty and rock it, clearly Tristan likes you for who you are, as does his family from the sounds of things so what dose it matter what some ex looks like.

-Mara


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[Artesia]

You are BEAUTIFUL.  Both inside and out.  There's a reason he's with you and not her.  Don't pay any mind to her, she is not worth the time to worry over.

If you need to feel prettier than someone, look at my avatar, and laugh.  Don't worry, I know I'm not beautiful, but I am finally comfortable in my own body.

[Charlie Nicki]

Julia, I know you are very young and youth comes with a lot of insecurities. But checking her out and "hating" her doesn't do you any good. You would be just wasting mental energy feeling bad about yourself and having this imaginary enemy who doesn't even know who you are. Don't fall into that trap that all young girls seem to fall to. Forget about her and just focus on your relationship.

[newgirltx]

Hi everyone. My boyfriend once mentioned where his Ex worked and I have been debating if I should go in there and check her out or not. I finally did and now I wish I hadn't. She's totally everything I'm not! She's beautiful, almost 6 feet tall, long legs and a beautiful tan. She had no idea who I was of course. She seemed friendly but I was a customer do I don't know if it was genuine. She told me my white skin was beautiful and the leggings I bought would look good with my skin color.  I don't know if she meant it as a compliment or a underhanded insult. I've decided I totally hate her! I feel totally inadequate compared to her.

Lol, there is nothing to be jealous about a woman that is 6ft tall unless you are 6"3 Or above. Lol

[Izzy Grace]

That's what I would have done too, heh.

6 feet though. Don't be jealous of 6'! I'd give just about anything to be like... 5'2" or 5'3". Like anything. Meh, a tan is just cooked skin. If she's so great she would be with him, but she isn't.

Bah, forget her, he's with you and you are beautiful.

[Steph Eigen]

To the point of your original post, unless your avatar is heavily doctored in Photoshop, you are strikingly beautiful.  No doubt, your SO feels this way about you as well.  Your pale skin is exotic and hightens that beauty.  Skin pigmentation either on the basis of one's genetics or extent of sun exposure is not a specific feature of beauty.

Don't expend the energy to hate this other innocent woman--she's done nothing to you to deserve it.  More importantly, hate does little other than harm you, the hater.  Don't go down that road, it leads nowhere.  Invest your effort, energy and attention to your relationship now, not arbitrarily hating an uninvolved former girlfriend.

[Lady Lisandra]

Don't be silly. I've only seen two pics of you and I bet you are beautiful. There's a reason why she's his EX. Remember that.

Also, many would kill to have your skin and hair, including me. I'd kill you if that gave me your lack of melanin. I'm joking. I'm pretty sure that Baal will grant me that if I continue sacrificing a newborn each month.

[Bari Jo]

Also, many would kill to have your skin and hair, including me. I'd kill you if that gave me your lack of melanin. I'm joking. I'm pretty sure that Baal will grant me that if I continue sacrificing a newborn each month.

Ditto to that.  Julia you do have many gifts.  You are probably the one girl that sets off my GD the most right now.

And Lady Lisandra, you have to bring me in on your agreement with Baal.  One one newborn a month is totally a bargain!

Bari Jo

[Roll]

Hi everyone. My boyfriend once mentioned where his Ex worked and I have been debating if I should go in there and check her out or not. I finally did and now I wish I hadn't. She's totally everything I'm not! She's beautiful, almost 6 feet tall, long legs and a beautiful tan. She had no idea who I was of course. She seemed friendly but I was a customer do I don't know if it was genuine. She told me my white skin was beautiful and the leggings I bought would look good with my skin color.  I don't know if she meant it as a compliment or a underhanded insult. I've decided I totally hate her! I feel totally inadequate compared to her.

Entire civilizations, some of the oldest and richest in the world, have built their aesthetic style around aspiring to your skin tone. You know who aspired to be tan? The cast of the Jersey Shore. You win.