Anxiety around career and gender transitions

[antia212]

I posted for the first time a month ago, so I'm relatively new. Not on HRT yet, though I'm seriously considering it. I'm seeking help through support groups, therapy, and close relationships.

I had a medical school interview yesterday, and preparing for it caused flares of dysphoria. I had to get fitted for a suit, which honestly felt like a waste of time and money. At the interview, I was the only person in a blue suit in a sea of black and gray outfits, and really stood out, which I liked. And I thought I was being conservative!

During one of the activities, I realized that transitioning during my first years of medical school is going to be a lot more challenging than I initially thought. I've been pretty vocal in all my applications/interviews that I'm passionate about trans health care, and I hope that weeds me out of the schools that are a bit more conservative. However, being around all those seemingly cis applicants made me want to either put off transition or start school in another year. I just don't know how long I can wait for either.


I feel like I keep encountering situations and scenarios that make me want to hide or put my life on hold.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Dena]

Students are young and are much more open to different opinions about LGBT. In addition, I have had a fair amount of exposure to the medical system and it's interesting to see how open mined the medical community is when dealing with somebody who is transgender. I didn't see any indication of anybody having a problem with it. You might bump into a person or two who has a problem but I suspect that transitioning in medical school would be a good experience for both you and the school.

[antia212]

Thank you for your response, Dena. You're right that it can be a learning moment for everyone, and that younger people are more open-minded about trans people than older folks. I will be on the older side of the age range (since I'll be 31 and most med school students are in their early 20s) and, hopefully, not the only trans person!

I think being among the interviewees made me realize that this process will likely happen at the same time, and I'm just generally afraid of what's to come. I'm going to try to live one day at a time.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Kendra]

My parents wanted me to be a surgeon but I decided against that.  Medical school is very challenging but an even worse problem is I would have probably passed out seeing procedures that are routine for doctors - wouldn't do much good to have a surgeon faint at the sight of blood.  So I went in a different direction.

I wonder now if I had headed into the medical field, by gaining a clinical understanding of gender issues I might have transitioned decades earlier.  I'll never know for myself but I think you are in a great field.  If you don't freak out at the sight of blood like I have. 

[Anne Blake]

I will probably state the obvious here, you are dealing with two very different but highly connected things. The first is who you want to be and the second is what you want to do. They need to be developed individually and get all the attention they deserve to fully mature but there should be no reason not to do then in parallel. I believe, as Dena suggests, that the insights you gain during transformation could be very insightful to your study of medicine and definitely assist in your relating to your patients.