40 years to late but still wanting

[Andrea Jane]

Hi
I am Andrea. I have been living a lie for 40 years (I am 55). For 40 years I have tried to be a man but I have a secret. I have always been a woman. Secretly I have lived this double life- to please family, friends etc.
I can't do this anymore, before it really is too late I have been taking HRT for 1 year with Anti-Androgens, I am in counselling and so want SRS. I can pay for it which should make things easier.
But my mistake is 40 wasted years .
I hope to give and receive encouragement, perhaps make a few friends in this environment.    

[Julia1996]

Hi. Welcome to the site. I'm Julia.  There are some late transitioners here. Better late than never.😊

[Andrea Jane]

Hi Julia
So lovely to meet you

[Megan.]

Hi Andrea,  I started seeking help at 37 and just hit 40,  as Julia says there are some here a little older and certainly wiser than me.
I'm a UK based MTF who started living full time in May,  and have been on HRT for three months. X

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[Julia1996]

Nice to meet you too Andrea.😊

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I think that you will discover this site has almost everything you might desire for your transition. There is much in the way of information, people willing to help and it very possible you will meet a few friends along the way. I often wonder why some of the members aren't posting much on the site and when I view their activity.  I find them busy messaging others on the site. Who or what about, I don't know as that information is private even from staff members.

Should there be anything I can help you with, let me know.

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[Anne Blake]

Hello Andrea, as mentioned, there are some older folks transitioning on Susan's. My name is Tia Anne and at 69 yrs have just experienced GCS (still early in my recovery). So, if I or any of us can be of help, please feel free to ask. And welcome to Susan's!

Tia Anne

[tgirlamg]

HI Andrea!!!


Welcome aboard sister!... You are amongst friends!!!  There is probably not one of us here who would not have wished to have been able to move forward into our true life earlier than we have.... We know something is up at a very young age but it sometimes takes a very long time to realize that we do have the power to make our lives what we need them to be and claim a life that is truly our own!

It is easy to get swept up in life and living the way we think others expect us to live but,  there comes a time when living the truth of who we are inside becomes more important than living our life to fit the expectations of those around us

Don't waste time worrying about the years before... They brought you to this wonderful spot in your life where you now stand... Now that you are finally pointed in the right direction, each step forward will bring great and meaningful progress... Don't get overly fixated on the end goal because this entire journey is an amazing ride and to be savored

I didn't act upon what I knew at age 5 until I was 52 and here I am at 56... Living an amazing life that I had never dreamed could be my reality... But now it is!!!! Amazing things lay ahead sister!!!

Please let me know if I can be of help along the way!!!

Onward we go!!!

Ashley

[Kendra]

Hello Andrea, welcome to Susan's!

Don't beat yourself up for those 40 years.  I bet you had a least some moments you are proud of, or should be.  Acknowledge the good things you already accomplished.  Now go add some great new things and enjoy the best possible future.

Glad you're here!  See ya around.

Kendra

[warlockmaker]

Its never too late, HRT is a fountain of youth. Plus you can afford FFS, BA, and hair transplants. Exercise and keep healthy and you will look 20 plus younger. I had my srs at 67 years old, now 69. I love my life and am proud to be the 3rd gender that identifies as female.

[DawnOday]

Hi
I am Andrea. I have been living a lie for 40 years (I am 55). For 40 years I have tried to be a man but I have a secret. I have always been a woman. Secretly I have lived this double life- to please family, friends etc.
I can't do this anymore, before it really is too late I have been taking HRT for 1 year with Anti-Androgens, I am in counselling and so want SRS. I can pay for it which should make things easier.
But my mistake is 40 wasted years .
I hope to give and receive encouragement, perhaps make a few friends in this environment.    

They weren't wasted years. They were years mostly without the tools to see transition through. I'm 66 and have known since 5. Caroline Cossey had her surgery in 1974  but was not known until 1981. In her I saw the possibilities of what could be and then she was outed and her career destroyed. I thought so much for that. I got sick in 84 and due to all the meds I was on decided that I should just live with what I was born with. But it was always on my mind. I prayed, I crossdressed, probably close to 3000 or more times in my life. And kept it secret. Which almost killed me before the heart disease could finish me off. Summer before last I was having a mental break and promised my family that I would seek therapy. I had been many times but could not screw up the courage to come out. Thus I went to a lot of counseling for depression. After viewing Susan's website I finally reasoned I was not alone and now was the time. Thanks to some excellent advice I finally admitted it all. Then I admitted it to my wife and kids. Finally I came out to anyone else who was important in my life. A year later, I am in a much better place. The estradiol  has been a godsend as my mind is now at peace. I too regret it took so long but luckily I have enough information to have a clue as to why I am Trans and it wasn't a quick decision and it's not about sex. It's about gender. I still love my wife and so far we are making it work. I love my new life. I love my new friends. The real eye opener was last August when I went to Gender Odyssey and there were 1700 other people just like me. Other than the birth of my kids and granddaughter. They best 4 days of my life thus far.  I hope this makes your decision easier. It's not too late. Good luck.

[V M]

Hi Andrea 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Jessica_Rose]

Welcome to Susan's! You and I are almost the same age. I turned 55 a few months ago and just started HRT in late March of this year. I had always known I was different, but I came to a sudden realization in December of last year that all of my issues with anger and frustration were because I was trying to be something I'm not. Within a month or two of beginning HRT my anger started melting away. I too wish I had started years ago, but I simply did not have the support or knowledge to know where to turn or how to start. We may be late to the starting line, but this is not a race and there is still plenty of time to complete the journey. None of us knows how much time we have left, but I would much rather spend it on a journey of discovery than wondering what might have been.

[TonyaW]

Pretty similar to you, 55 yo HRT for 7 months now.  While I definitely wish I had transitioned sooner,  I can't say I wasted those 40 years, as then I wouldn't have my wife, my kids, and my grandson. 

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[Michelle_P]

Andrea, I waited 50 years.  I'll be spending my 64th birthday recovering from GCS.  Never mind how late I was, I finally did it, and am living as my authentic self now, and feel so much better for it.

It is never too late.



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[Paige]

Hi Andrea,

I'm 55 too.  Been on low dose E for a bit more than a year.   Would love to fully transition but bu I'm not sure where I can go from here with wife and older children.  Just wanted to say you're not alone.

Take care,
Paige

[Andrea Jane]

Thank you for ALL your wonderful encouragement and comments
So necessary so thank you all
love you all
So good not to be alone
Andrea

[Dani]

And one more late transitioner here. I am 68 and had my GCS 18 months ago.

I feel great. It is never too late to transition.

[Katie Jade]

Hi and welcome - 55 seems to be a good year for us as I'm 55 as well, and starting controlled meds in next few weeks, have, already come out to a couple of work colleagues who at really positive and nice - I'm 6' and 200LB atm, (lost 36 lb or so so far) and raring to go, but not too fast as I want to enjoy the journey.
Hugz
Kati 

[big kim]

Welcome from a Blackpool girl