Body image and Gender image

[MoonHuski]

I've got 2 issues on my mind atm, body image and Gender image.
A few months ago I saw a psychologist about gender issues I was having, first person I talked too about it, and she said I should start exploring the other side, which I've been trying too at snail's pace as I'm more or less broke and trying to get a job.
While I've been exploring I've been paying attention to myself in the mirror more and for the most part I see nothing but male looking back at me, and when I dress in female clothes and very basic eyeliner I see myself more feminine (thanks to my fat) but more often then not I still see male.

There are some instances where (as long as I've shaved) I see a more feminine face with a guy's body, which makes me happy because I managed to take a very good picture of my face being more feminine and I love it as it is one of the few photos I actually like of myself, and thanks to that picture I want to see a more female face of myself and body to go along with the face. The issue I'm facing is I can't seem to picture my body ever being female when I look in a mirror and me being overweight and big in general isn't helping, and just have the feeling of being stuck in my mind.

So with the gender image, being only recently I've started exploring and not being someone who knew since they were young. You see atm I don't hate being a guy just that I think life would be better as a woman (which I could be wrong), but how I see myself atm is hard cause again when I look I the mirror and at myself I'm seeing myself as a guy and my brain goes I see a guy so I'm a guy. Atm Im confused cause I've had thoughts about being a woman and turning into one, but I don't see or I'm one atm cause I'm again my brain sees a guy. So I'm just wondering if my brain and thought process will change in some way as I continue to explore and try stuff.

Sorry if this is confusing, I'm terrible at putting thoughts to words.

[DawnOday]

How important is it to you. Are you looking to pass, or gain acceptability to express your inner desires. I remember my first support meeting and there was a girl there in a mini skirt, black tights. shoulder length hair, eye makeup and a full beard.

Want to lose weight, cut sodas and replace with say Ice Tea. Cut out bread, noodles, eat more often in smaller portions. Stop eating early say 5:00p.m.  Limit sweets. Did I stop eating everything? No. but instead of a bag of cookies, I eat one and feel satisfied. Get your facial hair removed. It will make you feel better. Drink lot's of water 64oz. Take supplements with biotin, collagen to improve skin texture. Neutrogena hydroboost will bring moisture to your fine lines and wrinkles.   I was 298 lbs at my worst. I am now in the mid 220's.  So, remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't be so hard on yourself. Every journey begins with the first step.

[Dena]

You will see yourself differently but it can take a year or more. The brain learned what you look like and for now it seeks out those features it's familiar with. Given enough time it will forget the older features and remember the new ones. I have some old pictures that were taken weeks before I transitioned and I no longer see the resemblance between me then and me now. Somewhere along the line my brain no longer connect to the image of what I once was.

[JoanneB]

I know it is a "Bad Day" when I see the Sad Old Man in mirror

Like Dena said... Give it Time. It took me this 6ft tall bald, big everything guy to actually think, and often believe, I am A Beautiful Woman. It took a few years to get to that point. BTW - there was a time I tipped the scales at 250lbs. Now it's like 150-145 and constant diligence. As DawnOday said, it takes a lot a "Lifestyle" changes and discipline. It still does to this day some 40 years afterwards. I can gain 5 lbs overnight, and 2 weeks to loose it 

[MoonHuski]

How important is it to you. Are you looking to pass, or gain acceptability to express your inner desires. I remember my first support meeting and there was a girl there in a mini skirt, black tights. shoulder length hair, eye makeup and a full beard.

Want to lose weight, cut sodas and replace with say Ice Tea. Cut out bread, noodles, eat more often in smaller portions. Stop eating early say 5:00p.m.  Limit sweets. Did I stop eating everything? No. but instead of a bag of cookies, I eat one and feel satisfied. Get your facial hair removed. It will make you feel better. Drink lot's of water 64oz. Take supplements with biotin, collagen to improve skin texture. Neutrogena hydroboost will bring moisture to your fine lines and wrinkles.   I was 298 lbs at my worst. I am now in the mid 220's.  So, remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't be so hard on yourself. Every journey begins with the first step.

Hmm..., I'm not too sure atm still working it out, but I would like to see myself as a woman and passing.
At my worst I was 264 lbs(120kgs), while now I'm down to 242(110 kgs), my goal atm is to aim for 198(90 kgs). Have been increasing my exercise and working on my diet, your tips will be helpful

You will see yourself differently but it can take a year or more. The brain learned what you look like and for now it seeks out those features it's familiar with. Given enough time it will forget the older features and remember the new ones. I have some old pictures that were taken weeks before I transitioned and I no longer see the resemblance between me then and me now. Somewhere along the line my brain no longer connect to the image of what I once was.

This gives me some hope that my brain will change.

I know it is a "Bad Day" when I see the Sad Old Man in mirror

Like Dena said... Give it Time. It took me this 6ft tall bald, big everything guy to actually think, and often believe, I am A Beautiful Woman. It took a few years to get to that point. BTW - there was a time I tipped the scales at 250lbs. Now it's like 150-145 and constant diligence. As DawnOday said, it takes a lot a "Lifestyle" changes and discipline. It still does to this day some 40 years afterwards. I can gain 5 lbs overnight, and 2 weeks to loose it 

Well I'm just shy of 6ft 1 and height doesn't really bother me, more the weight side of things. I'll have to work more on lifestyle and the tips given will definitely be helpful.