I started writing some thoughts yesterday, but deleted the post because I thought I couldn't contribute anything meaningful. However what I now see happening makes me sad. I don't know whether this is helpful, but I hope it may be.
Where I live, a state of in-between is probably more common than in the West. Even the boundaries between transsexual and feminine homosexual are more blurred. In the past, when medical intervention was unavailable it was not uncommon for people to assume female language/speech patterns and clothing but retain a male voice and still be accepted as a part of society. These people knew they were conspicuous, so they mostly did not even try to hide what they were. Some became actors. Some ran bars. Those who worked in common occupations would usually dress male during the day but might also have another job where they let themselves free in the evenings. Those who were beautiful were admired. Those who were not just grinned and bore it.
These days medical intervention has helped many more people to blend in. Some fade into the woodwork. Many even now choose visible occupations. they are more profitable than an office job, and while Western attitudes have made some headway here, most people are still either tolerant or supportive.
Warlockmaker lives in a similar society. I know it is very different in the West.
I myself work with an European man. I never advertise my gender. Many people who see us together assume I'm his wife. Luckily he is mostly amused and bemused. However, he also tells me that were I to live in his country I'd probably be either extremely scarred or extremely strong. That does sound frightful. If I did have to live there, I'd probably have hurried to get all operations I could to eliminate every trace of masculinity I can find. Else I might have tried to assume a masculine persona to survive.
Were I to move somewhere and start completely anew here, I might possibly be able to completely fade into the woodwork. However, as long as I associate with people who've known me for longer it is not possible. In any case I feel happy when new acquaintances continue to see me as a woman even when it happens that people who have known me as a man refer to me using male terms.
For those whose features are so masculine that this can't happen, the option of being inconspicuous is less real. I can't forget an elderly lady I saw dressed in a long flowing white dress who tried not to look at anyone as she hurried down a station staircase. She seemed very unaccustomed to high heels, and had a shadow on her chin. She tripped, and I wanted to ask if she was all right, but it was obvious that she only hoped everyone would ignore her, and sped away from the scene looking at the ground. Had she been confident of herself, she would not have attracted nearly as much attention as she did by trying to be invisible. When "stealth" is not a realistic option, I do think absolute openness may be more charming and safe.
That said, I do believe the circumstances we find ourselves in are all different. I am fortunate. Some are not. Some live in danger. Each one of us has to make choices based on the options available to us.
I do hope we can all understand this, and respect and accept each other.
