bye bye T... this is amazing

[Soli]

two months after switching to estradiol gel and stopping spironolactone, my latest blood test done last week shows a drastic drop of my testosterone from 1.5 to 0.5 

This is great 

I still take Dutasteride but I'm in the process of cutting it out and I don't think it has an effect on T anyways .

My estradiol level went right up since the intake is obviously better than with the dermal patches, and it seems like it's the estradiol going up that blocked more testo, or did so that I produced less... va savoir

My doctor confirms I'm a special case and cannot explain why so little spironolactone castrated me in such a short time period (basically six months at normal low dosage and a few months at lower levels)

It seems that it's mostly my E level that played a role in that process, or a big part anyways. My E level has been really up and down since 2 years I started HRT, it seems like the dermal patches can be very effective, or very ineffective if applied without due considerations (?).

But what still baffles me now is that I don't have testosterone anymore. Does that make me a woman?

other things to report (in my (I guess) special case): micronized progesterone has less feminizing effect on my breasts than MPA but feels more natural I would say. Since I have to pay for it, I tried to take less, 2 weeks a month, but it turns out it's not enough, my breasts are deflating. I will be taking it every day from now on. In my case anyway, no progesterone, no breasts.

My E seems to be on the rise still, I can't wait to really see the woman in my mirror. Well anyways, I'm happy  certain things I would like better, but certain things I wasn't expecting at all. Epilation of my face is not anymore an urgent need, I can manage without even shaving. Some days I fell very sexy, some days I rather not look at myself too much.

As for passing or anything around that, I know that my gesture has changed to the point that most people on the street probably take me for a woman as I go by when they don't pay too much attention. But something in my face clearly shows though that I'm not a cis woman, not sure what it is (well there is my voice also). Maybe it'll never go away, maybe I could consider surgery but I don't. Except maybe breasts enlargement, just maybe, I will not get any surgery. I'll be ok like this. Like I... think I know who I am now. This new life can start.

[KayXo]

But what still baffles me now is that I don't have testosterone anymore. Does that make me a woman?

Women have some testosterone, from as little as 0.2 to up to 4 nmol/L, depending on the lab's normal range. My skin is actually softer and more elastic since adding some T post-op, similar to the effect of progesterone but with a more potent effect. Some women swear by testosterone post-op, find it helps them feel and look better.

In my case anyway, no progesterone, no breasts.

I also found my breasts were more swollen with progesterone BUT without it, I'm noticing there is more glandular tissue.

there is my voice also

Speak using only those muscles above the Adam's apple. Works like a charm and becomes second nature.

But something in my face clearly shows though that I'm not a cis woman, not sure what it is

Maybe it'll never go away, maybe I could consider surgery but I don't.

Wait a few years. My faced dramatically changed from before HRT to after. If you find there isn't much change after comparing pics before and after 12 or 24 months, then perhaps adjusting estrogen might help or still giving it more time. Patience...Nature does things slowly but much better than any surgery can, IMHO. Alas, in certain cases, it may still be needed and can, nonetheless, give pretty good results.

[Soli]

thanks for your interest Kay, yes, I guess I will just wait and see; reading you I realize my skin is so dry not only for lack of progesterone but also my additional drop of testosterone, but I certify progesterone feels better than testosterone so I'll go for that.

and I also appreciate your interest, Kay, for some time ago, maybe 18 months, we had discussed the value of  Finasteride/Dutasteride which you were suggesting (with due proofs I must say) also suppress important neurotransmitters and that this suppression could lead to symptoms of depression. On my side, I was convinced that it helped a great deal and had a direct link to my body AND face hair regressing, getting thinner, growing less...

Well now, I find that, most probably, the effects I thought were attribuable to Dutasteride were in fact due to me sticking my estradiol patches well that week, because the thinning of my hair, locally, were I apply my Estrogel, has increased dramatically, so I figured... it's complicated, first, I'm a special case, but with the gel and since I'm certain of the intake of that now, confirmed with today's blood test, I don't even know anymore why I take Dutasteride. I'm cutting it down right now and it seems to make no difference... well it's got a half-life of something like 4 weeks so we'll see, but all in all, really, it seems to be estrogen that is behind every change in my body, and why these changes fluctuated is most probably because my E intake was fluctuating, not so much because of any other substance... And uhhh, I never got any sign of depression either, on the contrary. Wondering about that in front of my doctor today, she agreed that I should fade it out completely and said it was for my hair only and since obviously my hair grows well, it's not needed... So why my face hair has thinned so much remains a mystery since it doesn't seem to be a common thing, but after all, I don't think it had anything to do with Finasteride/Dutasteride, and I'm not sure after all these did anything to me at all. But the story has not ended yet, it's very difficult now to identify if my face hair gets thinner or goes back to thicker, they grow in cycles that I'm not sure to understand and I pull them as they grow. But I wouldn't want anyone reading this to think that their face hair will fade just with estrogen, it's my case but I think it's rare. I didn't shave my beard in 4 months and my upper lip in 7-8 months. I let (what used to be) my beard grow for a few days then the blonde and white hair will show in the sunlight, then a few days later, a darker shade shows, and then I pull them, takes a few hours, and they are very long, very thin, very pale, or white, the white ones are a bit thicker. Still I wish I had money for hair removal, but this is manageable as I don't really try to pass, I like me as I am. Some things in this HRT are beyond me (and I hate that, I always need to fully understand what's going on in any given situation) but I like it