My Dilemma

[Britt116]

Let me start with the unfortunate of the week. So I thought I was in the clear from my strong dysphoria (I have thought this multiple times over the last 4-5 years) but as always, I was wrong. So my dyspphoria is back and all I wanted was it to go away and let me finish school but I guess that's not going to happen. So I have been cross dressing again this week (wow I sound like a drug addict who's relapsing LOL) but now when I look in the mirror I am sad when I see a boy looking back at me. Also, I saw a girls jacket on the ground for the entire week so I went and picked it up at 1030 after a football game so I could be stealthy but I wasted my time because it was not women's size ugh. Here's where I need help... The gender dyshphoria is strong enough so that I want to come out asap, however, this is not what I originally wanted. I had wanted to get through wrestling season this year and then come out after that at least but this is starting to impact my grades so i don't know if I will be able to wait that long. I have been wanting to tome out for a while but I keep pushing it off due to something happening that I think should make me push it back but in reality it is just me being scared. I'm really torn because I know that I could do both but I don't want to go through wrestling season (rolling around with other guys) when I have told my parents that I'm trans. Any thoughts on how I can go about it? If it were a sport that had more than one gender doing it, it would be easier but since it is wrestling, it makes everything more complicated.

[Roll]

I have to admit, out of all the possible sports you could be engaged in that is probably about the single most awkward.

Before I suggest anything I will state the disclaimer that I am inexperienced myself, so take what I say lightly... I had a lot of plans on a timeline that have largely been abandoned, as I began to realize that even if my plans were practical, I was hiding behind practicality and logic as a delay tactic (still am on a few things), and it sounds like that you feel you are doing the same. If the only issue is that you feel awkward wrestling with men while your parents are aware you are trans... well, there's going to be awkwardness in all of this, that's pretty much a given, and that seems like the kind of issue that may seem important now, but you won't think twice about long run. If there are other worries, such as their reaction being potentially negative, then of course that is an entirely different issue.

[Julia1996]

You can start therapy and HRT without openly transitioning . I was on HRT the last year of high school but I didn't publicly come out. I had enough problems being the school ->-bleeped-<- so I didn't want to add to it. At the very least you can start counseling. If you don't want to start Estrogen until you finish school then you can at least start testosterone blockers.  They won't cause physical changes but they will stop the effects of testosterone from making you more masculine looking. The results from hrt will be much better the sooner you stop the effects of testosterone.