When I confessed to my wife my gender issues (April this year, so still pretty raw) She was initially very supportive, said all the 'correct' things. Within 3 days that had changed to a list of rules that I could not do (including telling my daughter or parents) and then a couple of days later telling me she could not live with me as a woman. We have been together for 28 years, she is my only love. That was really hard to deal with....
But we kept talking, she understood that what I am experiencing is not by choice, its simply the only way I will survive and I understood that she was trying to protect her family and me. We have kept talking, I have been brutally honest with her, telling her things that I know would cause pain, but were truthful. She reciprocated explaining all her fears and worries. My parents are 'god-fearing', homophobic and conservatively narrow minded they would walk away except they would lose access to their only grandchild. We have not told them yet, but have dripped hints and ideas over the last few months. Changes do not happen overnight, and to a degree you have a control over the speed and amount of information you can give out to anyone. We as a family now are in a position that if my parents disown us then it is their loss. my wife and I are still talking, and facing very tough difficulties, but I can honestly say we are closer now than ever before, we have a deep mutual understanding of each other. From that comes a great respect and love. I am confident we will survive. How our relationship actually ends up is anyone's guess, but we are at least working together.
So, to answer your question, Are other people's lives this hard? The answer is, everyone faces difficulties. If one persons path is harder than an others, who can say, its all subjective. My best advice is keep talking and you will find your way.
hugs
Sarah xx
