Hate feeling ugly

[Doreen]

Ever look at cute girls or models or whatever.. and no matter what you do, makeup, cute dress, doing your hair just right... it never seems enough?

I get guys being very nice to me (holding hand, opening doors, etc), but part of me has this deep inner suspicion maybe they're just being kind... I'm not really attracted to guys, but its nice to be seen as pretty.. but still I can't shake this inner feeling that someones snickering behind my back about it.

Maybe its just some kinda of depressed mood I'm in, but I can't seem to shake it.  I know I don't post pics on the forums, and for good reasons, but if you've been in chat you've seen me often enough.   How to 'normal' girls deal with these feelings of inadequacy.. They probably hide it all in too.

[Rachel_Christina]

I feel like this too quiet often.
It's really sad, no matter what you do you never feel pretty enough

[Julia1996]

I feel this way a lot. I can feel fine and confidant then when I see a beautiful girl I feel totally inadequate and ugly. I just can't help it. I think that happens to all of us at times. It happens to cis girls too. I think it's just female nature to compare ourselves to other women. Before transition I was very friendly with one of my brothers female friends. After I transitioned she became distant and kind of cold to me. She had known I was trans and had even helped me pick out clothes and stuff in the beginning,  so I totally couldn't figure out what happened.  I talked to my brother about it and he asked me if I really didn't know what was up with her.  He said I was a lot prettier than she is and I started out male, so imagine how that makes her feel. I never thought about that before. So when you start feeling ugly compared to another woman just remember that you're prettier than some cis women and you started life as a guy.

[Artesia]

I have this feeling as well.

I, however, KNOW I'm not prettier than any Ciswoman....yet.  I've only had a year to try, one day maybe.   Right now, nope.

I don't care any more, though.  I'm just happy to be me.  I'm happy to be accepted as one of the girls.  Well, more often than not.

[Izzy Grace]

I have this feeling as well.

I, however, KNOW I'm not prettier than any Ciswoman....yet.  I've only had a year to try, one day maybe.   Right now, nope.

I don't care any more, though.  I'm just happy to be me.  I'm happy to be accepted as one of the girls.  Well, more often than not.

Did you just decide that one day and just resolve to make the change in your mind or was there like a coping skill or way you went about it for sometime to help you come to that feeling like as a matter of habit?

[Doreen]

I feel this way a lot. I can feel fine and confidant then when I see a beautiful girl I feel totally inadequate and ugly. I just can't help it. I think that happens to all of us at times. It happens to cis girls too. I think it's just female nature to compare ourselves to other women. Before transition I was very friendly with one of my brothers female friends. After I transitioned she became distant and kind of cold to me. She had known I was trans and had even helped me pick out clothes and stuff in the beginning,  so I totally couldn't figure out what happened.  I talked to my brother about it and he asked me if I really didn't know what was up with her.  He said I was a lot prettier than she is and I started out male, so imagine how that makes her feel. I never thought about that before. So when you start feeling ugly compared to another woman just remember that you're prettier than some cis women and you started life as a guy.

I started out as a girl, I just had a few things in the way lol. Actually just got back from a laparoscopy this morning and STILL have some unresolved stuff going on inside.  Their label is 'intersexed' ... I prefer 'changeling'.  Now I just need to figure out how to change into a beautiful goddess 😕

[Allie24]

I posted recently about this same thing. Take it as a blessing that people see you as a woman. Some in the community don't even have that. Some are so far in closet that they are still living and presenting as men in their day to day lives and they are dying to have what you have.

It's normal for people to compare themselves. Even those super attractive cis women you see are doing it. I bet you Scarlett Johansson does it.

My partner is cis and even she envies how I look at times. She's told me that she'd accept being trans to have my body (however I think she underestimates the amount of mental anguish that comes with that). I think she's crazy, but I guess so am I for thinking everything would be amazing in my life if I had her body. All of us get a sour lot somewhere in our lives. All good things come with drawbacks, and getting exactly what we want teaches us to be spoiled brats demanding more.

Point is, we all have to appreciate what we do get from life and not get mad that we didn't get more, because who knows, one day it might be gone... maybe I get in an accident and my face is ruined and then I'm wishing to have my old one back.

I'm learning to be grateful for what I have and not so fixated on what I feel like I'm owed. As my parents told me once as a child, long, long ago: "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

It will take time, but eventually we'll learn to not hate on ourselves so much. And maybe even *gas* love ourselves for who we are 🙂

[Artesia]

Did you just decide that one day and just resolve to make the change in your mind or was there like a coping skill or way you went about it for sometime to help you come to that feeling like as a matter of habit?

I didn't do anything.  The support of my friends, and even my soon to be ex-wife have given me a bit of strength.  It took a while to accept my appearance.  Some days, I don't feel quite as feminine as other days; but every day that I go out and get treated like one of the girls is just another piece to support my psyche.

Long story short...I just appeared one day.  I don't know when.

[Tamika Olivia]

I try not to let it bother me. Beauty standards are patriarchal cultural programming, not universal standards that need to apply to everyone.  I also like to focus on the things I like about myself, like my eyes or my breasts. When I get dysphoria about the things that aren't standard issue femme, I just take the opportunity to remind myself that those are signs of being trans, and that means they're signs of strength and individuality. It mostly helps...

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Amoré]

I get this also. A cis woman told me some woman would give a lot to look like you. I was shocked because who wants to look like me? I know a lot of cis woman has the same issue even the pretty ones have issues and would like to change things about them. It is pretty normal. I found a lot of cis woman are jealous about our smaller hips for some reason.
I have been told by my ex and a lot of other woman that I am prettier than my ex.

I found some cis woman are distant towards me. I could not understand why and then it turns out they envy me because of my looks. That I started life out as a guy and blossomed into this woman. Woman comes in all shapes and sizes and the world needs all that woman because all of them has their place in life.

[coldHeart]

This is exactly how I feel to the point where it is destroying my life.
All the mirrors in my house have been taken down, I have stopped watching TV & tend not to go online much in fear of seeing not just a pretty cis woman but trans women as well.
As a male I knew I was ugly then but now i  have transition it has made things worse, all I every anted was just to blend in but I can't even do that, even night I cry myself to sleep every morning I cut my arms or thighs just to remind me this is not just a crap dream.
As a teenager I was a prettyish boy then was the time to transition before I was poisoned by male hormones, I suppose it dose not help that to get any way these days you have to be smart or pretty I'm neither.
So it looks like I am destined to live my life out utterly depressed recluse or take my own life, lucky at the moment I have my dog/cat to look after, when they are gone then I will throw in the towel.
Transitioning for all is very hard with some highs along the way but at the end it will be worth it but not for me it has been truely miserable & heart breaking.
Final rant.

Sara.

[CarlyMcx]

Seeing pretty cis women is bad enough but so far I dealt with it by telling myself what I would look like after FFS, even if all I can afford is a nose job and a brow shave.

Then, a few days ago, I learned that a friend of a friend (trans woman) just had her second round of FFS (her first round was pretty mild).  My friend showed me a post surgery photo from social media, and this girl just looked stunningly beautiful.  The transformation was amazing.

I know she went to Dr. Cardenas for round one.  I figured if she went back there for round two, maybe I could scrape up the money for a trip to Guadalajara with all the fixings.  So of course I asked my friend whether her friend went back to Dr. Cardenas or went somewhere else for round two.  Unfortunately this girl did not see fit to share with my friend the source of her beautiful new face.  My friend had to tell me she did not know, leaving me feeling frustrated and badly triggered.

It is one thing to see cisgender beauty that is unreachable, but far worse to see something you possibly could have, only to have it hanging just out of reach because you don't have the information and/or can't make the financing.

I went to bed at eleven last night but did not fall asleep until after two a.m.  One of those nights.

Peace and hugs, Carly

[Geeker]

I know what you mean Doreen... On a good day I feel I could give Cro-Magnon man a run for his money, on a bad day I look like a short wookie.