My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)

[Charlie Nicki]

I am attracted to men so checking them out was never a physical attraction but more of a "wow she's beautiful". I've realized that deep down this is actually "ugh this [female dog] is so pretty, and I'm stuck with this huge body" lol. Not really angry though, but more like annoyed.

[gv2002]

Myself I'm the same way, but when we make love I love it! Awesome is a understatement!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jessica]

I just noticed! So I started HRT in june, then quit for 3 weeks in August due to a breakup and depression, and started feeling the pain in my nips as I quit (ironically). Well I'm back on HRT, in total this is probably my third month, and I just noticed my boobs are actually growing!!! They are pointy!!! OMG. This is a mix of happiness and fear!! Cuz I still present like a man and am thinking to continue doing so until I look feminine enough, finish laser, etc...It's still unnoticeable with a shirt on, but I think taking my shirt off in front of people is not happening anymore.

This is getting real!!! Wow...I'll use this thread as a journey update. Thanks for reading! So scared lol.

My tits itch all the time now!  5 months in, breastbuds well formed, 1" increase in bust, 25% increase in size of areolae and unending sore to the touch.  But I'm smiling!
🙋‍♀️ Jess

[Charlie Nicki]

Small update:

HRT is going fine, but my mood isn't. I was very stable and mostly happy up until 10 days ago when my vacations started. I don't know if it's all this free time that has made me think about my ex and get nostalgic or if it's the fact that I stopped taking my antidepressants (they make me sleepy and I'm usually out at night). It has been emotionally tough, have cried a few more times and I'm constantly yearning to have my relationship back. The worst part is that he's very nice to me and wants to keep in touch with me all the time. He says he loves me and misses me but is afraid to try things out just to breakup again in the future due to my transition. Sometimes I feel like knowing that is worse than just being completely rejected.

So here I am in a beautiful city with nice weather and all I want is to go back to the office so I can have my routine, and my sanity, back.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Laurie]

 Hi Nicki,

   Idle times can and will give you time to think about things you may prefer not thinking about. I can attest to that with personal experience. I have loads of free time to let my problems fester. And yes, Dear, it can be distressing. I'm sure being off your meds is making it more so for you. The obvious solution is of course to take your medication because you know it can help. Mine, I'm sure you know I'm on them too) do not make me tired. They do make feel feel a bit thick headed for a short time but that is okay. Perhaps you need to work with your doctor to find a different one that doesn't make you tired. The other idea I have is to keep busy, something to keep your thoughts occupied.
  I hope your thoughts stay calm so you can enjoy your well deserved time of.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Charlie Nicki]

Thanks Laurie. I tried another type of antidepressants but they gave me insomnia which then made my mood worsen. So these are better and cheaper, I actually like the fact that they make me sleepy cuz I always get a good rest, so I take them at night. I usually skip the pill when I know I'll be  out, which isn't as frequent in my normal life as it has been now on vacation. Thankfully this will all be over on Tuesday and I'll be back to my routine.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Laurie]

Well Nicki I think you just might make it back into your routine. Only 3 more days to make it through. LOL

[Myranda]

Small update:

HRT is going fine, but my mood isn't. I was very stable and mostly happy up until 10 days ago when my vacations started. I don't know if it's all this free time that has made me think about my ex and get nostalgic or if it's the fact that I stopped taking my antidepressants (they make me sleepy and I'm usually out at night). It has been emotionally tough, have cried a few more times and I'm constantly yearning to have my relationship back. The worst part is that he's very nice to me and wants to keep in touch with me all the time. He says he loves me and misses me but is afraid to try things out just to breakup again in the future due to my transition. Sometimes I feel like knowing that is worse than just being completely rejected.

So here I am in a beautiful city with nice weather and all I want is to go back to the office so I can have my routine, and my sanity, back.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Charlie,

I know the feeling all to well.    This past month or so has been a real pain for me as well, emotionally.  The holidays have brought on a lot of depression and nostalgia for my wife, despite our history over the past years since she left.  But a year ago,  my energy was through the floor.  I'd be falling asleep mid day while on vacation, and passing out as soon as I got onto the bus on the way home from work. 

the transitioning piece can make all of the energy piece hard to figure out.  Is it the low natural hormones?  Is is the depression, etc....  But a year ago, I found something that really helped, all natural and it has made me feel so much better and given me the energy to keep up with my child on the days they are with me, as well as helping me get through the day and evening everyday.  I'm happy to discuss this with you outside this thread.  And the best  part is that it extremely simple system, and will help all of you, become a much better version of you, more energy, less stress, less toxins, better health etc...

[Charlie Nicki]

 Hi Myranda,

I'm interested in hearing your method. It won't hurt to try.

An update on my situation with my ex:

After months of keeping me there, not really letting me go completely, I finally realized he has indeed moved on at least in the physical sense. I don't want to get into details but I pretty much confirmed he's been sleeping with other people and that is of course the final nail in the coffin for me. I'm done trying to fix things with him, also done hoping he would change his mind. I know he won't. I blocked him from all other places he could possibly contact me and I'm moving on. Here's hoping I can forget him soon.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Laurie]

Hi Nicki,

  This revelation could just be what you need to move on. Facing the fact that he is not going to be there for you is what you needed to see. Now do get out and move forward with your life. There are more candidates out there for your heart, go find them.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Charlie Nicki]

That's exactly what I'm gonna do Laurie.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jessica]

Hi Myranda,

I'm interested in hearing your method. It won't hurt to try.

An update on my situation with my ex:

After months of keeping me there, not really letting me go completely, I finally realized he has indeed moved on at least in the physical sense. I don't want to get into details but I pretty much confirmed he's been sleeping with other people and that is of course the final nail in the coffin for me. I'm done trying to fix things with him, also done hoping he would change his mind. I know he won't. I blocked him from all other places he could possibly contact me and I'm moving on. Here's hoping I can forget him soon.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm happy you have found this resolution Dani.  You will be happier without all the stress.

Hugs from your sister, Jess

[Charlie Nicki]

I've been soooo lazy lately. Like I find it hard to find motivation to get up and go to the gym or do anything that requires an extra effort (like going to my Portuguese lessons really early in the morning). It crossed my mind that it might be related to HRT? I remember someone once told me that having low T just made you want to sleep all day lol. Is this true?

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

[Myranda]

I remember someone once told me that having low T just made you want to sleep all day lol. Is this true?

Having suffered from a natural unexplained Low T before starting my transition HRT, I can confirm that low T does result in fatigue.

[Rachel]

Yes, very low T reduces your motivation. It is something I got over in time. Setting goals is important.

[Cassi]

Having suffered from a natural unexplained Low T before starting my transition HRT, I can confirm that low T does result in fatigue.

That's good news!  I was wondering why it has been taking me so long to mop the living room and kitchen floors!

[Charlie Nicki]

Yes, very low T reduces your motivation. It is something I got over in time. Setting goals is important.

Having suffered from a natural unexplained Low T before starting my transition HRT, I can confirm that low T does result in fatigue.

Yeah that's probably it.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

[Charlie Nicki]

So after my last dosage increase I've noticed that I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. Which is fine, I'm skinny and I could use some meat on my bones, here's hoping it all goes to my butt and legs.

Also my mood has been kinda down lately, since Sunday I think. No real reason, just thinking a lot and sort of sad about how long and slow this process is and about my future. I want to blame the higher dosage of hormones for that as well, cuz I was extremely happy before. But it's fine, I can handle this type of sadness. I know it will probably fade once my body adjusts to the new levels.

EDIT: Oh and a little bit of TMI but I had a very graphic erotic dream last night (the second I've had in the past 2 weeks), which I guess means my libido is hiding somewhere but not completely gone lol. I need a man. Or two.

[Bari Jo]

Graphic dreams are the best:)  nothing like a gender affirming dream that makes me start looking at men again.  As for the hormone increase affecting you, I think I'm right there too, but it's also decreasing Spiro.  I really need to see what my t levels are.  I find myself being short tempered especially while driving.  I hate it.

Bari Jo

[Jessica]

So after my last dosage increase I've noticed that I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. Which is fine, I'm skinny and I could use some meat on my bones, here's hoping it all goes to my butt and legs.

Also my mood has been kinda down lately, since Sunday I think. No real reason, just thinking a lot and sort of sad about how long and slow this process is and about my future. I want to blame the higher dosage of hormones for that as well, cuz I was extremely happy before. But it's fine, I can handle this type of sadness. I know it will probably fade once my body adjusts to the new levels.

EDIT: Oh and a little bit of TMI but I had a very graphic erotic dream last night (the second I've had in the past 2 weeks), which I guess means my libido is hiding somewhere but not completely gone lol. I need a man. Or two.

Like I was telling you.  It's your body needing more reserves to store to feed your prospective baby
I love your new avatar pic!