Struggling to process new information...

[Roll]

(Not ignoring rest of posts btw, just rushing a bit but wanted to answer something quick. )

Hi Roll, or is it Ellie?  I am so bad with names and faces;)

I'm loving hearing/seeing Ellie, but Roll and variations on it have been what I've used online for a looooong time for MMO characters, so feels very close to a real name to me at this point, while I'm still trying to get over my anxiety about the "real world name". So either/or works!

[amberwaves]

I'm loving hearing/seeing Ellie, but Roll and variations on it have been what I've used online for a looooong time for MMO characters, so feels very close to a real name to me at this point, while I'm still trying to get over my anxiety about the "real world name". So either/or works!

Honestly, it helps to use your name as much as possible to get used to it.  It's been over a year and I still sometimes blank that Amber is referring to me.


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[Laurie]

Just a quick comment on user IDs and names. It makes it easier to personalize responding to particular posts if more people would sign their posts. I'm one of those that like to use the chosen names or user ID for a person when responding and it is difficult when all you see is the ID. I had tried a spread sheet but it's long out of date.

  Just my personal opinion mind you. Okay Carry on.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[JennyBear]

Just a quick comment on user IDs and names. It makes it easier to personalize responding to particular posts if more people would sign their posts. I'm one of those that like to use the chosen names or user ID for a person when responding and it is difficult when all you see is the ID. I had tried a spread sheet but it's long out of date.

  Just my personal opinion mind you. Okay Carry on.

Hugs,
   Laurie

    Interesting point Laurie. For me, my name is in my username, so no issues there, though I know for a large percentage it isn't. Does this forum have a way to set an auto signature? I've only seen the message that ends up on the left. But as far as the rest of your post, If that means people start referring to me as hugs, I think I'd be okay with that. LOL (Giggle)

HUGS!

[Laurie]

    Interesting point Laurie. For me, my name is in my username, so no issues there, though I know for a large percentage it isn't. Does this forum have a way to set an auto signature? I've only seen the message that ends up on the left. But as far as the rest of your post, If that means people start referring to me as hugs, I think I'd be okay with that. LOL (Giggle)

HUGS!

yes Jenny, there is. If you look below my post you will see various dates I started things. those are in the "signature" are of my profile. To get there go to progile. then modify profile (below avatar) and in the dropdown pich forum profile. scroll to the signature setting. fill in what you want to show in the box and then scroll to the bottom and hit the change profile button.

[JennyBear]

yes Jenny, there is. If you look below my post you will see various dates I started things. those are in the "signature" are of my profile. To get there go to progile. then modify profile (below avatar) and in the dropdown pich forum profile. scroll to the signature setting. fill in what you want to show in the box and then scroll to the bottom and hit the change profile button.

    How the heck did I not see that? Thanks

HUGS!

[Roll]

GAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I just told my dad I needed to talk with him about some important stuff over the next day or two when he has time. He caught me off guard saying now was good, and I almost, ALMOST, said yes. And that would have been it. Instead I asked about tomorrow night and said I had to get my thoughts together first about it. So yeah. Apparently, unless i totally chicken out, I'll be coming out tomorrow night. After he walked away and I sat back down and am typing this I am having a full blown anxiety attack like I haven't had in probably years. I'm not entirely even sure what I'm typing makes sense. And jesus, this wasn't even the coming out discussion, this was the discussion to say I'd like to have the coming out discussion (not that I told him that was what the discussion was going to be). Jesus christ I really don't know how I'm going to do this.

Calming down now... that's... a good thing at least.

[Sarah_P]

That sounds like the same panic I went through before finally just doing it. I chickened out 3 times!
I know how hard it will be to say the words, but you know this is the right path for you. Stay strong sister!

[Roll]

That sounds like the same panic I went through before finally just doing it. I chickened out 3 times!
I know how hard it will be to say the words, but you know this is the right path for you. Stay strong sister!

I'm fighting this crazy amount of doubt that is creeping in because I know on some level it is just me wanting to avoid this conversation and the ones that follow.

I might be wrong, but I have this sense that this singular conversation is going to be my make or break moment.

On the plus side, I'm going to sleep soundly. Adrenaline crashes are pretty good for that.

[amberwaves]

I'm fighting this crazy amount of doubt that is creeping in because I know on some level it is just me wanting to avoid this conversation and the ones that follow.

I might be wrong, but I have this sense that this singular conversation is going to be my make or break moment.

On the plus side, I'm going to sleep soundly. Adrenaline crashes are pretty good for that.

Ellie,

I hope things go well.  It's definitely hard, but I know you can be strong.  Remember you are you regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Amber

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[JennyBear]

I'm fighting this crazy amount of doubt that is creeping in because I know on some level it is just me wanting to avoid this conversation and the ones that follow.

I might be wrong, but I have this sense that this singular conversation is going to be my make or break moment.

On the plus side, I'm going to sleep soundly. Adrenaline crashes are pretty good for that.

    Let us know how it goes. Definitely rooting for you on this one. Maybe the karma will help in a big reveal of my own on the 27th.  Stay Safe and Strong.

HUGS!

[Izzy Grace]

OMG OMG OMG!
Ellie! Your gonna be ok, no matter what happens! We're all here for you! I;m here for you! you can call me if you want, PM me if you need!

Anything you need We/I got you!

K

[Roll]

Thank you all for the support! Right now I'm staying remarkably calm watching the clock, waiting on him to get here. Which scares me a little because I am worrying that if I'm not more nervous, it's because my unconscious knows I won't go through with it. Which is dumb that I think that, but I suppose this isn't an entirely rational moment.

I even went and printed out my coming out letter to read off of or just hand it over if I break down, everything is as cleaned as it gets around here... now all that's left is waiting.

...

Oh hey, I have the new Brooklyn 99 to watch. That'll kill a few minutes at least.

[Izzy Grace]

I'm gonna have susans on refresh all night, girl!

[Bari Jo]

Yeah me too!  Can't wait to read what my friend Ellie has done!

Bari Jo

[JennyBear]

Thank you all for the support! Right now I'm staying remarkably calm watching the clock, waiting on him to get here. Which scares me a little because I am worrying that if I'm not more nervous, it's because my unconscious knows I won't go through with it. Which is dumb that I think that, but I suppose this isn't an entirely rational moment.

I even went and printed out my coming out letter to read off of or just hand it over if I break down, everything is as cleaned as it gets around here... now all that's left is waiting.

...

Oh hey, I have the new Brooklyn 99 to watch. That'll kill a few minutes at least.

    Update? Curious (and Very Supportive and Concerned) Minds want to know. Did you go through with it? How did it go? Are you ok?

HUGS!

[Roll]

So here I am a few hours later (seriously, 3 hour conversation):

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,229677.0.html

I posted a new thread in the coming out forum since it seemed more appropriate, but quick summary: I didn't chicken out and it went absolutely amazing!

I LOVE YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!!!!! I would never have been able to bring myself to do this without the amazing people here!