My wife has a girlfriend and it's not me!

[Angela49]

This one is realy hard for me to swallow.
I am mtf 50 yrs old, came out to my wife 53 weeks ago. As with many of us she was devistaded 
We have been together 26 years and had known of my occasional crossdressing and did not mind me doing so. We have been in conseling for 8 months but from the very begining she said she could not be with a woman, we were going just to make sure we stayed friends and for the kids.
We were planing for me to leave the house when my mom goes to FLA for the winter.
She went away last weekend with one of her single friends.
Monday night she sat me down and confessed her feelings for this other woman.
I am crushed!! She is with a woman now and it's not me.
Would have been so much easier if it was a guy.
Last night at 3 am I could not sleep and went down stairs where she sleeps now and woke her up so I could talk to her. Basically poured my heart out to her pleading my case of our 25 yrs,3 kids, beutiful home, the amazing life I have afforded her, etc.
Asked if she could hit the rewind button and give us a try because now because clearly she CAN be with a woman.
Response was that it has taken a year to get where she is now mentally, so no rewind.

[Sarah77]

Wow. That must be a shock. I don't know the ins and outs, but do you think there's any way this is purely a ploy to give you some kind of message?

I hope it works out for you.

[Gertrude]

That sucks. I guess she lied. Probably better you move on.


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[Charlie Nicki]

Wow. I'm speechless here, I would be deeply upset as well, she rejected you as a woman only to be with another woman? Incredible. But the good thing is that you don't need to feel guilty anymore, since the relationship is not breaking because she doesn't like women, it's breaking because she chose to move on with another person. And as tough as it sounds, you deserve to move on as well.

[Dani]

Any kind of emotional straying is hurtful to the partner left behind. I speak from experience. My spouse of over 40 years found affection from other men when she thought I was not aware of it. The worst part of it is the deceit and outright lying about it. From her point of view, I was overweight and no longer attractive to her. From my point of view, I was emotionally crushed. We are separated now. There is no possibility of reconciliation. 

[Angela49]

Thank you for the responses.
I had a last minute opertunity to pack up and leave with a dear friend for four days so I took it.
Texted my wife on Thursday after I left asking her to please consider giving us another chance. She basically said no.
Cried alot Thursday night but got more stability as the weekend went on. I kept real busy trying not to dwell and seemed to help.
We have a therepy appt this afternoon.
No clue as to what will happen there.
Wish me luck!