Dating in High school as Transman

[Sammie]

I am FTM and I like girls. There are a few girls that I have crushes on and would like to date, but I am afraid that they won't want to because I am trans. A lot of the girls at my school are sexually active and not only do I not have the 'equipment' that they want, and even if I did I don't like sex (but I am not asexual). I am wondering if anyone has any experience in that or knows the best way to approach this. Any help is appreciated.

[Julia1996]

Hi Sammie. I'm MtF so I have no clue about dating as a FtM but I can give you a female point of view and my opinions about it. A lot is going to depend on how you look. That sounds bad to say I know but it's high school and how you look is totally important. You will have a better chance of finding a hetero cis girl the more masculine you present. I'm not saying you need to look like a male model. Females are attracted to how a guy looks yes but I think with most girls a guys personality is more important than his looks. If you're a nice guy thats going to be a big plus for you. Also how much "male energy" I guess you would call it is important also. But as for appearance how masculine you look will have a lot to do with it. If you don't look especially masculine then most straight girls won't be interested. I has more to do with what a person is attracted to than the fact you're trans. I would have no problem dating a transguy if he looked masculine at I found him attractive. But I wouldn't date a CIS guy who was pretty and fem looking. Because that's just not what I'm attracted to. If that makes sense.  I think lack of a penis would be one of the last things to count against you.  Some girls are all about the dick but certainly not all of us. If I was dating a transguy the fact he didn't have a dick wouldn't be an issue. But if he didn't like any kind of sex at all that would be a problem.  Not liking sex is the one thing I think that might keep you from getting a girlfriend. I don't care how hot a guy was, if he didn't like any kind of sex I wouldn't be interested in him. I would be friends with him but nothing more.  Girls want a boyfriend who will kiss them, be affectionate and do at least some sexual stuff.  Otherwise why even bother having a boyfriend?.  You might as well just have a good male friend. Since you don't like sex have you maybe thought about just having a good female friend?  I hope some of this helps. Good luck.
Julia

[computer.liebe]

I am FTM and I like girls. There are a few girls that I have crushes on and would like to date, but I am afraid that they won't want to because I am trans. A lot of the girls at my school are sexually active and not only do I not have the 'equipment' that they want, and even if I did I don't like sex (but I am not asexual). I am wondering if anyone has any experience in that or knows the best way to approach this. Any help is appreciated.

i think it really just depends on the person. i'm not sure what it's like at the school you go to, but I feel like i've had the most potential with people (i'm bi) that are familiar with the LGBTQ+ community or are bi/pan and don't really mind how i look either way it goes. i think some heterosexual girls might not be interested in trans guys, but if you feel like you are in a safe environment it really doesn't hurt to ask them out. not everyone is interested in the same types of things

best of luck to you ! that's just my two cents on the matter. i probably shouldn't be giving dating advice because i'm sure other people have more experience haha


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[finnn]

hey man,
im 16 and in the uk so im not sure how the scene is where u r but i have found that 1) dating bi/pan/queer girls is often the most viable route to  go in dating 2) dating people who are new or that you didnt know before you transitioned as they will recognise you initially as how you presented and identified when you met them and 3) parties/drink helps, i always get nervous around girls and taking back the filter a little bit can really help.
hope that was mildly usefull, just my experiences )
finn