So a while ago I posted a letter I wrote to come out to my father in these sub forums, and I recently had another thread in the main transgender talk forums about this topic. Well, tonight the time came and, miracle of miracles, I didn't chicken out.
And it went amazing. Better than I ever could have possibly dreamed!
I started out stuttering nothing for a few minutes, terrified and looking for a way out. But then something just snapped, I said to hell with it and give him the letter. As he read the first little bit I was shaking like I'm not sure I have ever shook before. The fear was just so real. He made no visible reaction, so I couldn't gauge anything. Then he just stopped and said it was all okay, and he loved me no matter what. At that point I started to just read off the letter a bit, jumping topics some... and just talked. He was so positive about everything, reiterated repeatedly he was proud of me and my progress with my health in general and that I had the courage to do what I needed to do to be happy, and was just genuinely wonderful and supportive. He told me a story from his career about a transgender woman he treated 20 years ago, and how much he learned from her and her journey that was just amazing. (Very long story made very short: She spent many years transitioning only to develop terminal cancer a few years later. Yet she absolutely did not regret the time she spent transitioning, and those years she lived were the happiest she'd ever had.)
A lot of its a blur, and I don't think my brain was processing things properly due to my anxiety going overdrive, but after a while I calmed down. I'm not really sure what else to say, except I'm pretty sure I am in a legitimate state of shock, everything is this strange not unpleasant numbness. I should probably go to sleep.
