I am attracted to trans females. some thoughts from my wacky mind

[MissKairi]

Why am I so attracted to transgendered women? Or perhaps I should say why am I more attracted to transgender women over normal women?
This is something that's been running through my head for a while and really this is just an open thought post of whats going on in my head

Id like to explore each avenue in turn and explain to myself why I do or don't think it plays a part.

1. I am secretly in the closet as a gay male.
This one is simply no. I don't find the male body attractive at all and the idea of dating a male holds no interest to me whatsoever.
I like females.

2. It's just a sex based kink.
I'm not all that into sex in general. I mean I enjoy it with a partner I love and want to be with and whilst I am not vanilla in my sex likes, sex for the sake of sex, to me, is just assisted masturbation. Anal is a taboo sure, but I am so over that.

3. Because I am trans myself. Well I am indeed trans but I have decided to not go ahead with any transition as for me, the cons outweigh the pros.
Perhaps this does play some factor as a trans woman would know a lot of what I go through and we tend to seek those similar to us.

4. Because I dont see the difference between a trans woman and a cis woman.
Apart from the one difference, there, to me, is none.
Which is why I am a bit confused here as I actively prefer trans women.

5.Nope that's all I've got at the minute.
I'm absolutely fine with being attracted to cis girls and trans women. If anything it just opens up the potential dates.

It's just something I been thinking about and wanted to share

[Rachel_Christina]

A very strange topic indeed.
Why someone would actively seek someone in our situation is crazy to me.
I think it's great for those who can set aside the differences we have because they real like us as people. But to be actively hunted because I have an appendage I shouldn't have is kinda odd, I get it all the time, people coming after me on Instagram. And so many become so vile and sexual so fast it really creeps me out. I'm so lucky I have a partner and do not have to think about relationships.
Anyway yeah I really don't get those that come after us simply because we are trans?,
And even though I am a trans woman,  I could not have a CD partner. Im not against people who do it, it just would not be something I would want if I was looking for someone?

[Angela Drakken]

A very strange topic indeed.
Why someone would actively seek someone in our situation is crazy to me.
I think it's great for those who can set aside the differences we have because they real like us as people. But to be actively hunted because I have an appendage I shouldn't have is kinda odd, I get it all the time, people coming after me on Instagram. And so many become so vile and sexual so fast it really creeps me out. I'm so lucky I have a partner and do not have to think about relationships.
Anyway yeah I really don't get those that come after us simply because we are trans?,
And even though I am a trans woman,  I could not have a CD partner. Im not against people who do it, it just would not be something I would want if I was looking for someone?

Part of the reason I originally left, and 'Kylo' (i think hes using a diff name on here now?) can probably back me on this, was a lot of unwanted attention from 'men seeking transgendered women.' A fetish is a fetish.

That aside prior to my own transitioning I had a brief romantic trist with another transgendered woman. (I myself identify as a lesbian.) I never actively sought her out because of who she was though. Just fancied her for her. It wasnt suppised to last.

Recently upon coming out to an old friend of mine as transgender he'd confessed to me that he is pansexual. (He is happily married with children and there wasn't any weirdness.)

[Rachel_Christina]

Suppose if I was a guy and I was dating a girl, and she came out as being trans, I think I would still date her, it might have tooken me a while but I think  I would push passed it if I really liked her.
But I think I think like this because I know how it is to be like this, and I would want to make her feel like a goddess, make her feel every bit as special as she should. Now though my attractions are like stuck in no man's land after transitioning.

[Devlyn]

Perhaps you're drawn to their strength and self confidence?

Hugs, Devlyn

[RobynD]

I certainly admire trans women and as a pansexual, i'd never preclude them but an exclusive attraction i do not have. Perhaps in addition to the strength/confidence that Devlyn Marie mentions, it is just that you have an affinity for people like you and can connect with their struggles in life etc.

[MaryT]

Why am I so attracted to transgendered women? Or perhaps I should say why am I more attracted to transgender women over normal women?

If you are a woman attracted to other women, I don't see anything strange in your being especially attracted to women who have a lot in common with you.

A fetish is a fetish.

If either a cis person or trans person is especially attracted to trans women, with or without male bits, I don't think that it is necessarily fetishistic.  Being attracted to particular body parts, such as feet, is fetishistic.  Some people like cis men because they are cis men, some people like cis women because they are cis women.  I don't see why being attracted to people because they are trans should be regarded as a fetish, as long as one is attracted to the whole person.

And, as long as one is attracted to the whole person, so what, even if it is a fetish?  I know that you were not criticising, just expressing your own preference.  I am just expressing my own opinion on the subject.

[Dena]

Part of the reason I originally left, and 'Kylo' (i think hes using a diff name on here now?) can probably back me on this, was a lot of unwanted attention from 'men seeking transgendered women.' A fetish is a fetish.

If that happens on the forum in PM, use the report to administrator button and send it to Cindy or Susan. PM is private so we don't know what happens there unless we are made aware of it. We watch out for it in the forum and if we see it there, it often gets handled before very many other people see it.

Chat also has that policy and the moderators shut down things like that pretty fast. If somebody takes you private, record the information and pass it to a moderator as soon as possible.

Susan's isn't a dating site and anybody who attempts to use it for that purpose will be stopped as soon as we are aware of it.  Romances have happened on the site but you should never need to deal with anything you are uncomfortable with.

[Sinead]

The past few years I've felt especially drawn to transwomen, despite being a gay man (well a straight woman in a man's body), I always wondered why that was, until I realised it was because I felt like/wanted to be a woman myself

[Angela Drakken]

If that happens on the forum in PM, use the report to administrator button and send it to Cindy or Susan. PM is private so we don't know what happens there unless we are made aware of it. We watch out for it in the forum and if we see it there, it often gets handled before very many other people see it.

Chat also has that policy and the moderators shut down things like that pretty fast. If somebody takes you private, record the information and pass it to a moderator as soon as possible.

Susan's isn't a dating site and anybody who attempts to use it for that purpose will be stopped as soon as we are aware of it.  Romances have happened on the site but you should never need to deal with anything you are uncomfortable with.

Oh no it wasnt exclusive to the Susans site, but thanks Dena. I had to change my cell number a few times irl also.. Water under the fridge, as they say. >.>

[Rachel_Christina]

I'd get that fridge checked out Angela...

[MeTony]

I am pansexual. I fall for the person, not the gender. I have seen many attractive trans women. I think the androgynous looks catches my attention.

But most often I fall for the person. No matter what gender they identify themselves. The men that catch my attention are soft men. Not always gay men, there are soft cis men too.

Same goes for women. I like the soft ones. Not just ultra femme women, the soft ones. A tomboy can be soft.

Stone Butches are most of the time excluded. But I think it's no problem because I'm male. Lol


Tony

[Angela Drakken]

I'd get that fridge checked out Angela...

Lol if only a leaking fridge were the worst my issues.
(Thats also a Trailer Park boys quote, if youre familiar with the show or its 'ricky isms.' Probs doesnt aire across the pond?)

[Rachel_Christina]

Ha my brother's watched that. I never got into it

[sarah1972]

SAMSQUANCH, That's an odd thing to say, Julian...

Bubbles usually has the deeper more philosophical thoughts tough...

Lol if only a leaking fridge were the worst my issues.
(Thats also a Trailer Park boys quote, if youre familiar with the show or its 'ricky isms.' Probs doesnt aire across the pond?)

[kayla1618]

Girls with heavy / angry eyebrows are my kryptonite.
Like Frankie Shaw,


Cara Delevingne


Feruza Balk


I love girls that are more  "masculine in feature" or less "traditionally beautiful"
That's obviously why I'm also attracted to trans women as well.  (not that we all have heavy eyebrows, but statistically its more likely)

Could be your reason too??

[MaryT]

Girls with heavy / angry eyebrows are my kryptonite.

I love girls that are more  "masculine in feature" or less "traditionally beautiful"
That's obviously why I'm also attracted to trans women as well.  (not that we all have heavy eyebrows, but statistically its more likely)

Could be your reason too??

There isn't much about those three women that makes me personally think "trans" but it is true that some women, regarded as particularly beautiful, have typically trans qualities such as being  tall or even having augmented breasts.  Brooke Shields' unplucked eyebrows did nothing to mar her beauty, either.

[kayla1618]

There isn't much about those three women that makes me personally think "trans" but it is true that some women, regarded as particularly beautiful, have typically trans qualities such as being  tall or even having augmented breasts.  Brooke Shields' unplucked eyebrows did nothing to mar her beauty, either.

Totally...

Yeah, I don't necessarily think those women I posted look trans either. 
I was just pointing out that I seem to like angry eyebrows, or heavy brow ridges. 
Which, whenever I find myself attracted to a trans women, they ultimately also have that feature.

So I was trying to hypothesize for the OP that maybe there is a particularly universal "feature", that trans women are more likely to have, than cis-women, that the OP finds attractive??   

When I'm attracted to a trans women, its either the eyebrows, or the fact that I wished I looked like them 

[Mandy M]

Quick reply from me as in a rush but there's nothing strange about this topic. It's surprisingly normal. The ladyboy bars in Thailand are rammed full of men fantasising about t-girls or however you want to term the kathoey.

I think we should stop beating ourselves up sometimes and assuming something about this is a 'disorder'. It isn't. It's part of a rich tapestry. For some trans people they not only love women but in that love want to be one. Tied up in that can be an erotic or fantasy element. It's still a valid part of the trans continuum.

Be kind to yourself and continue to explore your identity.

I like to use the word, 'admiration.' Admiration of female form covers a wide range of our responses, all of them valid.

xxx

Mod Edit- Edited to comply with site policy

[Mariah]

 
Lets please remember that ->-bleeped-<- is a banned topic on the site. Thank You.
Mariah