I'm learning who I am, and who I want to ultimately be.
In August after feeling the need to have my yearly physical pushed up, I went to a new GP in my town.
I told him a little about my history of self-abuse and witnessing my mother's attempted suicide.
I told him that I had set up an appointment for an orchi in December with Dr. Arnkoff.
A week later I was seeing a psychiatrist because the GP thought I should be on some kind of drugs.
After two sessions with the Psychiatrist, she said that she could see no reason for me to be on drugs as I am a very happy and motivated person and not proving to be in any way suicidal.
She could see that I have gender dysphoria and told me that this was not an area of expertise for her.
She suggested that I find help from someone else but she did not know of a professional in our area of West Michigan.
I have been bumped around and felt guilty for my self-abuse for 55 years and there has been no one who understood me fully.
I finally found a therapist 70 miles away and made the call to set up an appointment.
On the way up to a therapist that specializes in Gender Dysphoria, I felt discouraged as I have had no help thus far and I didn't see how that would change.
I am glad I kept driving and found this therapist.
With her help, I now have real hope that with help, I can take and shape my body into a look that I can realistically achieve and live with.
I submitted my paperwork to the Dr. she recommended and hope to have my appointment in a couple of weeks to start the HRT.
I am considering moving to her practice even though it is 70 miles away because my local GP seems to be unable or unwilling to see who I am and what I need to be.
There aren't many doctors in the West Michigan area that seem to understand the trans community.
I hope for some perky little breasts as it would be nice to see and feel them on my chest.
As you know, I want to present as a male and I am concerned about how my wife will take me having breasts and zero ability to achieve an erection.
We haven't had penetrative sex in 4 years as it hurts her to do so.
She tells she is good with it but the reality of facing that my breasts might end up bigger than hers may hurt how she feels about my transition.
My mom was huge but I am 64 so I am hoping that age will not make me too big.
Question, in your opinion(s), am I a transsexual or a ->-bleeped-<- or something different?
I don't like the idea of being considered a ->-bleeped-<-, I prefer to be androgynous as a person with a tiny non-functional penis, no testicles or scrotum, and nice breasts. I don't know what that makes me.
