Choosing a name..

[Avinia]

So, after pretty much withdrawing from life during my summer break, then being too busy with the last 8 weeks of school to think about anything besides my culinary classes, I have finally had some time to start thinking about other things. I think I am currently doing better than I have in a long time, life just has a purpose again for me, I am learning to drive finally, looking forward to a career in the culinary industry(hoping to get into cake decorating, my grandma was amazing at cake decorating), and I am slowly improving on the social anxiety end of things.

I am now determined to be out to my parents by Christmas, but while I wait for an okay time(realized the "right time" doesn't exist, "okay" just means when my homophobic brother isn't around), I have been thinking about my name. The big thing for me is I kind of want to keep my initials, which are "MDB", mostly because I am so used to them.

So far the best I have come up with would be "Madison Davina *Lastname*", I like Madison since it is very similar to my birth name, "Matthew", and I like Davina because it kind of ties in my Scottish heritage... also the whole thing just sounds nice to me.

Any opinions?

Honestly, probably will ask my parents for help.. assuming they are accepting as I hope(99% sure my mom will be accepting).

[Bari Jo]

I like the name, it rolls off the tongue too.  When you see yourself in the mirror does it speak to you too?  Have another person write the name in front of you.  How does it make you feel?  When I first saw someone write my name down, I almost cried.  I knew for sure that was my name at that time.  BTW, the girl that wrote it knew I was trans and also almost cried when I told her why I was overcome by emotion.  If you feel strongly like that I can say without a doubt, that is your name!

Bari Jo

[IzzyM]

I asked my parents what they would have called me if they were told I was a girl when I was born. Everyone has "if it's a boy then this name if it's a girl then that name". At the time I didn't tell them why I wanted to know but....

When they told me it felt right.

[steph2.0]

Names are usually imposed on us by others, so having the opportunity to pick for yourself what the rest of the world will know you as is a privilege most people don't even think about. How cool is it to be able to pick something that will make you happy every time you hear it?

I've written about it elsewhere here, but my story is I ended up just feminizing my first name to Stephanie when I found out that the girl name my mom had picked for me ended up going to my sister when I was AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth). I also wanted to keep my initials (middle "R"), and with my first and last name being three syllables with the emphasis on the first, I wanted something that would flow with that. None of the baby name sites had anything that would fit, so I looked elsewhere. Because I love music, both to hear and to make (though I'm certainly not very good at it) I went looking for a musical term, and found one I fell in love with. It means improvisational, which fits, since I'm making this up as I go, and joyful, which I sure am now. The word is Rhapsody. Stephanie Rhapsody DAH-dah-dah. It eats up a lot of room on a signature line, but it's me.

Bari Jo, your story resonates with me. Just yesterday I attended a clinic on transgender name changes, and the helper they assigned to me filled out the paperwork (since nobody can read my chicken scratching). It was the first time I had told anybody outside my "inner circle" (which includes all y'all) my new full name, and I watched her write it down. Though we were busy and I didn't have time to dwell on it, now that I'm thinking back on it I'm getting all verklempt.

Awesome...

Stephanie (just Steph to my friends)

[Josilyn]

My wife, daughter and I were in a sushi restaurant and the subject of names came up as my daughter was just playing around to see what she would want her boy name to be.  At the time, she chose Gavin.  As they were looking through names, I started to look through female names and I came across a name that just struck me immediately.  Also, the way it was spelled appealed to me greatly as it was very uncommon.  Immediately I knew what my new name was.  Then I had to figure out a middle name that would go with the first.  Since Josilyn is also very close to my old name I decided to find something that would fit with my middle name .  I figured that would help my parents, friends and wife relate a little more to who I was.  After thinking about that for quite some time, I finally can up with Deanna and with my last name it sounds pretty harmonic.. At least to me..  Now whenever I hear or say my name I always get a smile as I know that I had the the privilege to get a name that I chose and love.

[Roll]

I think Madison Davina is cute!

I'm still not really sure where the name I'm currently going with came from. Just said it in my head at one point during a fantasy (not that sort of fantasy!) and kept using it, and I like it.

[Jailyn]

Madison Davina does sound great!!!! If you are doubting your name still then my suggestion is look on a baby naming site. It can give you lots of choices, almost overwhelming but, you have a goal in mind of keeping your current initials. This was also my goal but, I added a middle name to it so I will be going from 3 initials to 4. I also asked my parents if they had picked a girl name for myself but, they had never planned it out they said. So they named me in the hospital. I mean this is your time to explore your name and find something that as the others said "it needs to resonate with you." You are conceivably going to live with it the rest of your life. Pick well!!! Good luck and happy finding!!!!

[Avinia]

I remember asking my parents if they had ever picked female names for me early in my questioning, their answer was that they always knew I was going to be born a boy.. so no luck there.

So far seems like Madison Davina is my favorite out of any I have looked at yet, since it has stuck in my head for about a year now.

Anyways.. back to trying to find information on transgender care Kaiser in my state, read something that said I need to be presenting female for 3 months before being considered for HRT :/