Hello! I've posted this on ->-bleeped-<- too, but I just want to talk to people about this. I know many people post these questions but I just had to... I've been facing an identity crisis of late and don't know if what I'm going through is that I'm trans or self deconstructing due to a recent break up of an engagement.
I'm born a male, and I'm 27. Lately I've been having progressively intense thoughts that I would rather be a woman. It's always been a silent curiousity within my head, but recently I've been wearing women's comfort clothes... tanks, shorts, leggings etc at home and I feel more at ease and comfortable. I also have started to experiment with make up and have been enjoying it. Using lipstick and eyeshadow at home but in public I've worn foundation, highlighter and mascara. I feel... better, more open. At home I pretty much only like to wear the female clothes now too.
I guess my confliction is a result of timing. I've never been as curious or as confused as I have been in the last few months. Thinking back, there are a few things such as mostly being friends with girls, usually choosing female characters in games, and feeling really good when people said I looked like my mother, I also used to cry as a little kid whenever I'd get my hair cut, have never felt socially accepted by men, I've also never been into sports or as overtly sexually explicit in my talk as most men I've been around. I was in the military for 4 years, and there's a way men talk about women that always made me feel a bit off or uncomfortable. I've done some research into gender therapists in my area but wanted to talk to some people here before I take that leap.
Again, I did just go through a break up so I'm overall probably more vulnerable than I would normally be. Perhaps that is what is opening my mind to discovering myself, or am I rejecting what I've always been? I'm just not sure. Btw these thoughts are literally with me all. Day. Long. Not only am I attracted to women, but have always also looked at their clothes and and their make up, hairstyles etc. I wonder how I would look or if I would ever even have nice features or whatever. I also constantly wonder what it would be like to share this with people, and so far I've only discussed this with a couple close friends.
