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Looking for advice...

Started by rorgg, October 02, 2017, 09:25:43 PM

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rorgg

I started cross-dressing at about 11, in a furious effort to appease my trans desires, and the reaction of my mom when I got nearly immediately caught in my early stumbling efforts drove me to stop until I moved out for college, and then a few years later, again, when I moved cross-country to eventually marry my first wife, with whom I have a now-12 yo daughter.  About 3 years later, the marriage crumbled, and that was sort of the bursting of the dam.  I started dressing in secret, but a couple years later, came out to my second wife as a cross-dresser, which is honestly how I identified.  My second (current) wife was and is supportive of  occasional girly sessions, she encouraged my attending a local support group, and I love her immensely.
But... a few months ago, while attending counseling sessions, the psychiatrist suggested she thought I was trans, and after consideration, I think I agree.  I'm still solely gynephillic, though, and while my ex- and daughter took it pretty well, my wife informed me that while she could support me if I did transition, that would mean the end of our romantic pairing


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Denise

Rorgg,

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for.  Only you can decide if transition is right for you.  Let me tell you that I heard almost those exact words from my soon-to-be-ex-wife (if you catch the meaning).  She's supportive that I must do what I must do.  My Dysphoria got so bad (manifesting in extreme anger) that I almost lost everything, family, friends, job, .... life.  I didn't have a choice.  So I'm transitioning and I'm living in an apartment 60 miles from who I thought was my life-long-partner but apparently not.

The decision to transition completely, go 1/2 way (androgynous) or the occasional cross dressing is, unfortunately up to you and you alone.  In my case my hand was forced (full transition or a miserable end-of-life, I'm mid 50's).

Remember, whatever you decide, the Susan's community is here for you.
- Denise
1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.
The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise
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elkie-t

You have to do what you have to do if you have to do it. If not, enjoy your life as you are, crossdressing and such, maybe even start being more open about it, etc. You might talk to your wife if she would be ok if you grow your hair long, remove facial hair and wax your legs, maybe she would be even ok with low-dose estrogen. All of these might ease your gender dysphoria and allow you to feel a female inside while maintaining your social appearance of a male. It would also make your crossdressing easier, and if later you decide to transition - you will have a head start.

However, I want to say, you don't have to seek the full transition just because some specialist says so. Only if there is no other option for you.


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rorgg

Quote from: elkie-t on October 03, 2017, 09:47:52 AM
You have to do what you have to do if you have to do it. If not, enjoy your life as you are, crossdressing and such, maybe even start being more open about it, etc. You might talk to your wife if she would be ok if you grow your hair long, remove facial hair and wax your legs, maybe she would be even ok with low-dose estrogen. All of these might ease your gender dysphoria and allow you to feel a female inside while maintaining your social appearance of a male. It would also make your crossdressing easier, and if later you decide to transition - you will have a head start.

However, I want to say, you don't have to seek the full transition just because some specialist says so. Only if there is no other option for you.


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Yeah, thanks for the responses.  I'm NOT to the point where I feel like I can't continue my life as is for now.  I suppose I'll keep doing as I'm doing and hope for clarity, one way or the other.  As for low-dose estrogen, is that via prescription only, or how would I go about that?  I've heard of good effects, both medical and psychological.


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